"This is Nikki. She's my daughter."
Marti stared at the little girl in disbelieve, than back up at Julian. She tried to think something, maybe even say something but it felt like half her brain, a good part of her stomach and bits of her heart had just dropped out of some hole in her body.
"Marti?" When she didn't respond, Julian reached for her arm but she pulled out of his grip.
"You know what? I gotta go. I totally forgot about the extra practice today. We're going to Nationals in ten days, so... I gotta go."
They both knew she was lying but she didn't care. She would do anything to get out of there. Anything but standing there like the dumbstruck idiot that she was.
So she turned on her heel and bolted.
She heard him say something to his daughter and then his hand closed around her bicep.
"Marti." He held onto her when she tried to get away from him. "Will you stop, please?"
She did stop but she didn't look at him. If she did, he would see the anger and the tears in her eyes and she wouldn't let that happen. If she could hold on to this last shred of dignity and not appear like a stupid teenager...
"Will you please let me explain?"
With all the defiance she could muster, Marti sucked in a breath and turned to him. "Before you... explain anything, let me ask you something. When I asked you to do a background check on my not quite as dead father and you discovered I had a half sister I didn't know about... did it ever occur to you to clue me in into your little family secret?"
He let go of her, throwing his hands up. "And when was I supposed to tell you?" He took a step back from her and only now did she realize that he had followed her in his pajamas and on bare feet. "When we kissed, you walked out and I didn't see you nor hear from your for a week? Or when you suddenly showed up at my door the other night?"
Marti knew he was right. Which made this even worse.
Julian ran a hand through his still sleep-tousled hair. "I didn't mean for you to find out like this." More to himself than to her, he added: "I didn't think it would be a problem."
She snorted indelicately. "Look, I'm not naive, okay? I know you had a life before me. So did I." She brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, trying to collect her thoughts. "And I don't have a problem that you have a daughter. In fact, that she has your eyes and your smile makes her kinda adorable." She paused again, unsure if she should continue. "My problem is... you. That after you wined and dined and slowdanced me... after... that night, you didn't tell me. You made me look like an idiot."
"I'm sorry."
She didn't need to look at him to know that he meant it. She could hear it in his voice.
Awkward silence fell between them and Marti flinched when he touched her arm.
"Can we take this inside now? Talk about it?"
Drawing in a long breath, she squared her shoulders. It took another breath or two until she was able to look at him. "No."
He raised a questioning eyebrow at her.
"I can't. It's... too much, alright? I just found out my father didn't die when I was a kid. That he was a junkie and had a whole new family after us. And then there's this thing with Lewis and Savannah and in all this insanity, there's you." Marti didn't even bother to hold back her tears any longer. She drew in a shaking breath. "And I was this close to..."
She turned away again, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.
The grip on her arm tightened. "This close to what?"
"I can't do this right now, okay?" Biting her lip to keep more tears from falling, she looked at his hand around her bicep. "Let me go."
He did and she immediately stepped away from him, stepped out of his reach, stepped away from his smell, his warmth.
When she had brought a few yards of distance between them, she turned around to him again, hugging her arms around her middle as a chill ran down spine. Seeing him standing there, in the middle of the street, with that confused frown and no shoes... It was too much. Everything was too much.
Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. "I'm sorry."
