Chapter 1
I watch the light leave her eyes, I watch the life leave her body. After everything she has been through, after the pain and suffering we all went through. I cradle the limp body of Katniss Everdeen in my arms. My courageous, fearless sister. I hear my mother's voice not far away from the bomb site probably thinking I am hurt, I'm not. She is always worrying but when I see the mother who raised me fall to her knees it makes me cry more. I have blood on my hands now from dressing katniss's bullet wound , I don't care I am way past caring about anything but the look my sister gave me when Snow sent the bullet through her heart how all life as she knew it trickle away from her grasp struggling to hold on to the light.
Mother rushed over thinking its katniss holding my limp body, how I wish it was like that. A single tear landed on my sisters dirty limp face. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I let them carry her, away far from here; they let me stay with her I held her hand. Tight. Mothers' holding her other hand. Peeta tries to hide his tears but they leave his eyes and travel freely down his face, I haven't spoken to him at all. I try to give him a smile, but it's weak and surreal. Right now my life feels surreal. The mockingjay, the girl on fire, the face of the rebellion is silenced. Forever. I want to head back to district twelve and curl up next to her on our mattress. I can't ,I won't. Now I know that's impossible I sink to my feet waiting for death to swallow me up like Katniss but it doesn't. I suddenly feel a firm pair of hands on my waist willing me to get up. I don't. Then I hear a voice soft but firm. Saying "Prim get up, it's OK" the voice sounded familiar. Gale! I swoop up slowly at first when I think I am steady I wrap my arms round him which I've never done before. He hugs me back but I feel warm salty tears drip on to my shoulder. The band has moved on with my dead sister, I run to her side feeling around the cloth for her deathly cold hands. Gale stands behind her. As we walk the capitol streets full of rubble and despair I noticed people have emptied their homes and have flooded the capitol streets. I eyed the crowed and my eyes fell on a young girl about katniss's age. This girl with long yellow hair and a green flowing dress (obviously not dressed for war) stares at me watching me hold my sisters hand, watching me watch her, her stare fells as though it has found an entrance to my soul and death its self. I hear mother call my name I turn and she says something inaudible I pull a confused face at her and turn back to the staring girl only to find her gone. I see where she stood the gap between two old men, empty just like me I feel empty and so does my mother , Peeta ,Gale and most of all katniss her self, I imagine her body full of life and light then to imagine it all gone seeping from her body from my life. I wonder if we will ever get back to the destroyed district twelve, abandoned district twelve,lifeless district twelve.
when we return to district thirteen the first living soul I see is haymitch ,full of life. He sees me and gives me a joyful smile. I just give him a weak lob sided smile. I run past him and return to the room I share with my mother but I don't. I don't usually eavesdrop but I couldn't help my self so I turned the corner and put my ear to the wall. At first all I hear is muffled voices but then I hear haymiches booming voice " DEAD? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S DEAD!" I totter back away from the wall I heard it again that word that terrible word, dead. I run back to the room tears spilling out my eyes not caring who gives me a second glance. I slam open the door and hurl my self on to my bed I cried and cried. Then I hear the familiar voice of Gale beside me comforting me. Why is he being nice to me? If I had got to her sooner she could be alive or if I had warned her about snow who was pointing a gun at her chest she could be a alive, I did see him behind her but I let it happen I let that bullet pierce her heart. Oh my god I just realised its all my fault! "its all my fault" I weep
"oh prim" gale says " no its not"
"ITS ALL MY FAULT" I scream
I cover my head with the sheets and cry again I faintly hear gales footsteps leave the room and the door shutting. I don't care at all I just want Katniss,katniss,katniss.
When I finished crying I went to find mother and everyone else. I found them in the room that katniss agreed to be the face of the rebellion, the mockingjay. I try to enter unnoticed but the second I open the door everyone's eyes fix on me, I blushed. I see my mum, peeta, gale, haymitch, Plutarch and someone I don't recognise with glasses and thick brown hair I also noticed Effie trinket.
"Hello darling" my mum says
I just wave, I take the only remaining seat between haymitch and peeta. haymitch seemed to have calmed down now but I could tell he'd been crying, I don't blame him we all feel depressed now. Effie had patches on her eyes as if she hadn't slept a wink. I didn't speak but everyone else did. I try to zone out but then I remember something so I ask "is snow dead?"
everyone silenced themselves I waited for an answer
"no he is no dead prim, not yet" it was Peeta who was talking "not yet?"
"no but he will be, soon we promise, but we don't know how"
"can I kill him?"
everyone gasped at that remark
" prim darling this war isn't over just because katniss died" it was Haymitch talking now I loose my temper at that remark!
"JUST BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD" I scream at him "she was your leader, your inspiration mine too but killing snow means so much to me."
"yes, yes sweetie I understand that but you don't know how to fire a gun do you?"
everyone was staring at us now. I slump back into my chair. Looking at everyone. Then I have an idea, a brilliant one.
" can't you teach me to?" I ask now everyone has their eyes fixated on me. " can't I take her place as the mockingjay?" now everyone was blinking at me. They must think I am crazy but I am too overcome with grief to care.
"now that is an idea" haymitch says
"no, I am not letting another one go to war" that's my mother speaking.
"look honey, we may not have any other choice" says haymitch. I give my mother a hopeful look but she dismisses it.
"no Primrose, no, I will not let you get shot like your sister" my mother shouts "then where would I be,huh? Lonely and childless? I have already lost one child I am not going to prepare to loose another!"she continues
"yeah and where would I be huh? Lonely with guilt building up inside me like a terrible storm! I must be the one to kill him mom, me , it just feels right"i scream back at her
"she's right honey" haymitch interrupts " someone must kill that beast and by someone I mean Primrose Everdeen"
yay I got through haymitch but mother?...
she just stares at me a glare more like a stare, then she retired from her chair and scuttled out the room. I felt guilt fill my lungs, my heart, my soul. I try to get up to stop her but haymitch and peeta hold me down. I heard haymitch whisper to me
" your sister carried on without her leader, Boggs who also died on the job only a true leader could do that,could you do that?"
I think I know what he's on about. I need to just carry on with life without katniss or is he actually sober enough to be talking about leaving my leader to die on the battle field? I don't answer him I just stare back, I think about it could I leave my leader dying in a wrecked house or street? Speaking of it who would my leader be? Would it be haymitch?gale?Peeta? Now I couldn't leave either of them alone dying alone in the street after what gale has done, he saved my life getting me , my mom and about 800 people out of district twelve in time and Peeta he saved my sister in the arena and she saved him it's not fair to take either of them alone to the capitol to fight Snow! I want to go alone with no protection even then I'd have a good chance of joining Katniss and my father in where ever people go when they die! I think about it a little longer. " yes" I say " I think I could just carry on".
