I finally began writing again. This is for Deadfiaries "Secrets in the Lab" challenge. I wrote it in a chemistry mock exam :)

I hope you like it. It does contain content that some may find disturbing. But if your a Silent Witness fan, its no worse than the show :)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to the BBC. I'm just playing with them.


Dear Harry,

Today is the day I tell you the truth. I've been living a lie for the past seven years. You might want to sit down, it's not pretty. Hopefully, I'll be long gone by the time you read this. But, nevertheless, I must tell you this. My story.

I'll start with the stuff you know. My father brought me to England when I was 15. I never wanted to leave South Africa. It broke my heart to do so. I felt so broken. I was vulnerable and I felt so lost in a foreign country where my father all but abandoned me.

On my 16th birthday, I was so happy. My father, for once, decided to take some notice of me. He told me we should go out together as a "family" for a surprise trip. I was, foolishly, excited. It finally felt like he cared about me. But the feeling was short lived. Now, I feel so naive.

We stopped on our way to wherever it was we were going for coffee. It was a bit of a treat for me. Normally we couldn't afford it, but my father got me a small cappuccino. He must have put something in it, drugged me, for the next thing I knew I was lying in the back seat of the car. A man I had never seen before was sitting in the front passenger seat. He was about 40 and was large. He was talking to my father but the drug was making my head spin so I couldn't hear what was being said. The man turned around and smiled at me. He was creepy and it scared me. I'm not sure when, but at some point later we stopped.

After that, everything is a massive blur. But I can tell you this; my father forced me to marry this man. I know I tried to protest, but I didn't have the energy. I couldn't stop him, however much I tried. I really didn't want it, Harry. Please believe me, I didn't want it.

I think he must have had money, and lots of it, because I was in a lavish house in god-only-knows where and my father was living the high life. Well, at least his idea of the high life – a different prostitute every night, expensive clothes, jewellery and a brand new flash car. I don't remember much of being there. I was drugged permanently, every 3 hours I was force fed another dose of crushed pills. I was kept in the basement all day and all night. I got to see daylight three times a day when they would allow me to use the toilet. I didn't really understand why I was there.

One day, about a month later – I'm not entirely sure on the dates or times, I never even contemplated asking – it all changed. For some odd reason they asked me to cook. I can't even cook now, so you can imagine how bad I was then. But I did try, I had to. The man, I still have no idea of his name, picked out my clothes for me. He dressed me like a prostitute. I felt so disgusting. Used.

I made steaks. That's about all I could do. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. His hand crept up my arm. I couldn't scream, I couldn't find my voice. I hadn't spoken since my birthday, my voice just wouldn't work. His hand lingered as I tried with all my might to push him away. I just wanted him off me. He ripped my clothes. I was so desperate to get away. I didn't want it. Whatever the drug was, it was beginning to wear off. I hadn't been dosed in about 5 hours. I could feel my body regaining control. It gave me hope. Hope that I could fight him off. He had me up against the counter. I felt so violated, I was violated.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a glint of silver as something caught the light. The knife. I grabbed it. He continued to touch me. I was so scared. I slashed it across my neck. He grabbed at my neck as well, strangling me. I slashed again. Blood poured out, pulsing out. He went limp on top of me. Blood was everywhere. I passed out.

I'm not entirely sure how long I was unconscious or how long I was lying there for that matter. But, the policed found me. They had been investigating my father's antics. And the fact that no one had seen me in a month and my disappearance was out of character. They took me to the station. I was so disorientated. I hardly remember any of the time after that. They never pressed any charges against me.

I love you, Harry, that's why I'm telling you all this. I love you so much it hurts. But I'm so broken and damaged. I know you could never ever want me after this. I really loved you, yet, I killed a man. Harry, I killed a man. I could never be with you because of it. I know you will never love me. I'm sorry that I love you. I can't bare it anymore. I'm leaving. I love you, sorry.

Love

Nikki

xxx


Please review :) they do make me happy!

Part 2 should be up in the next by the 3rd of Feb.

Lizzi