Looking down at the knife

Knowing it could end everything,

End the dull and senseless routine

I'm in control…

End what I have been thrown into

A life not worth living

I don't look for payback

Don't look for revenge

Just hoping for deliverance, it can't get any worse can it?

Sick of all the rules, regulations, norms and wishes of society

I don't care anymore…

Whatever happens next…

Not my problem anymore

Erase my existence…

Many call it selfish, many more close their ears and look away…

I could not care less,

I do not want 'saving'

In life there is nothing to gain

You start with nothing and end with nothing…

Simple, way too simple

Only fools cling to life

Believing in illusions like happiness and love…

They are as dead as the corpse rotting underground in the cemetery

Don't need to live to an old age, I have seen enough…

Enough to turn my back on it all

So little time and so many needs to conquer

Give it a rest; there is no fixed set of instructions

Telling you how to live your life…

Let's play Russian roulette I win one way or another…

Apathetic towards this world and its inhabitants…

Soon nothing will matter to me…

I'm not weak

I don't view my apathy as a weakness but strength

Rather the abyss than what I live with now…

I want this…

I really do…

It ends for good…