Looking down at the knife
Knowing it could end everything,
End the dull and senseless routine
I'm in control…
End what I have been thrown into
A life not worth living
I don't look for payback
Don't look for revenge
Just hoping for deliverance, it can't get any worse can it?
Sick of all the rules, regulations, norms and wishes of society
I don't care anymore…
Whatever happens next…
Not my problem anymore
Erase my existence…
Many call it selfish, many more close their ears and look away…
I could not care less,
I do not want 'saving'
In life there is nothing to gain
You start with nothing and end with nothing…
Simple, way too simple
Only fools cling to life
Believing in illusions like happiness and love…
They are as dead as the corpse rotting underground in the cemetery
Don't need to live to an old age, I have seen enough…
Enough to turn my back on it all
So little time and so many needs to conquer
Give it a rest; there is no fixed set of instructions
Telling you how to live your life…
Let's play Russian roulette I win one way or another…
Apathetic towards this world and its inhabitants…
Soon nothing will matter to me…
I'm not weak
I don't view my apathy as a weakness but strength
Rather the abyss than what I live with now…
I want this…
I really do…
It ends for good…
