DISCLAIMER: Naruto and its characters are not mine, are creations of Masashi Kishimoto-sensei. This story will read below was written by me nonprofit.
Sorry for my bad English. I translated my text with effort (and help from Google, of course xD) I speak Spanish, but try to share for you this history about Sasuke's thinking (: I hope feelings reach them n.n
I just want to know what think Sasuke-kun owo
No matter what people say
People always say many things. They look so intently the lives of others, which to believe they can review their decisions. As if his opinion was vital. As if one were to change to please them.
His life had not been an exception.
Since childhood, he was criticized for being an orphan, being the brother of a traitor, for having finished betraying himself to his people. For being proud and arrogant. Emotionally unstable. Vindictive, evil and cruel. A real criminal. His simple name evoked a label of an individual stained, marred for life. And things much worse. He may have been to blame for most of the labels for all the bad choices he had made; but that did not give people the power to manipulate his life. Not anymore.
His world had been like a spider web. Full of sinuous and confusing stitches, always chasing the shadow of someone, when it was he who was trapped in endless truths disguised. And that cobweb also took the form of a deep, cold, dark tunnel; by which he had wandered a long time.
People did not understand that he was no longer in that tunnel, or trapped in a spider web. Never again. He had people who loved him. And he loved them too. He had love. He had a family.
Many believed and even claimed that he would be alone, wandering the world, avenging the world. And then, when the terrible name Uchicha was intertwined with sweet Haruno, people had feelings ranging from sincere joy, until total and utter disregard denial.
The most pathetic opinions, for him, were those who said that she did not deserve him. Please! Had it nonsense bigger than that? Sakura was the most loyal person he met, selfless, be consistent and firm in her decisions he greatly admired.
There were also expressions denoting how disappointed they were not seeing her married to his friend Naruto. They looked them like the perfect couple. As if that child were to make her completely happy. One child who had become the leader of the people.
It was then that his conscience was suffering from being goaded. When people said it was he, the monstrous Sasuke Uchiha, who did not deserve her.
He did not deserve her. He knew it perfectly. He knew it better than anyone. Nobody understood what he felt. No one really knew him. Everyone watched whom he had drawn for them. He was guilty of being seen as a no feeling being, as a simple empty well, dangerous if they get too close.
There were only two people who had seen beyond that mirage. One, by simple stubbornness, by coincidence. But her, but Sakura, thanks to her love, she could see him really.
And he, in turn, how many times had hurt her? How many times had been about to kill her? He kept track. And, despite the undeserved forgiveness that she had given him, he did not feel worthy to walk alongside her. How could he take her hand without worrying about to stain her? That had always been one of his anxieties.
Sakura was not like Naruto and like him. She had not had to mature at age one playing in the park. She had not experienced the betrayal of the people she most admired, tears of an eternal farewell. The hatred that consumes from inside and thirst for revenge that undoubtedly accompanies it. No. Sakura had not lived all that. She was a normal and innocent girl with family and friends too. She wore a carefree life. Without pain. Maybe that's why she had such a carefree personality when she was so young. He remembered many moments of her actions. And her smile, mainly.
Of course he met Sakura Haruno. He knew her from before be the team 7. His brother, Itachi, who could now name without fire in her throat, knew it. But even if he decides to erase her from his way, the circumstances of life wanted to happen otherwise. She was everywhere. She paid him much attention. She slowly began to notice things that were not part of the mirage that he painted. Sasuke did not realize when their presence stopped bothering. That he was getting used to having her around. He began to record the nuances of her temperament, the things she liked and what bothered. He was proud to be the only one who could distinguish her a real smile from a fake and encourage appeared on her face the first one. He liked her smile, but also, he liked disconcert her.
Nothing changed when people around him, admired him, praised him. His world was like when his family was killed. Inside him was a dark and full of bitter hatred and revenge well. He swam in the vacuum formed. But within his being, slowly he could see small changes when he had her at his side, the acre water was sweetened. She was not afraid to sit on the shore. She was not afraid to look inside. Despite everything he said or did, she followed smiling him.
She was like a song. Sakura did not need to touch him to influence him. Hearing her voice was enough. She was the light in his darkness, which made him see reason when his sanity was falling apart. Thanks her, he felt he was not alone. Sometimes he wondered if it was true she could not hide, did she really wanted him? His pride boy said yes, he was too great and it was plausible to happen. Each time he was surer she never would betray him. And he, in addition to observing her, began to care her. At first, he assured himself that it was just part of their responsibility the reason for he cared for each member of which was beginning to look like a real team. It was not abnormal, doing it was natural. Unwittingly, he began to desire not to see them suffer. Unwittingly, he went mad when Sakura was hurt. She was not owed anything bad happen, could not pass her anything wrong. He would not allow it.
Because Sakura did not allow him to be hurt. He did not want to confess himself how much he appreciated that friend who had not sought and how much he trusted her. He was not alone. Because she was there, unconditional, illuminating with affection and love that cold and hostile well.
Because he realized she filled his empty existence.
But when you are young and inexperienced, the decisions may be unreasonable. His heart was already corroded, and after that incident with his brother, when he hated him blindly, plus the fact see the power of Naruto and that his power in comparison seemed a joke, was blinded with forward to overcome him, to get power and revenge at any cost. His mind began to push aside the sweetness of the company of his faithful friend. She had to move away. She distracted him from his self-imposed goal. So, without her, he could go away, with nothing to tie him what his old village. He could complete his revenge without remorse.
At least, he thought it.
It was a surprise to see her the day of departure. See her face full of concern, hear her voice so persuasive, knowing she remembered even the smallest things ... it was difficult. It was hard to pretend not to care. But there was no other choice, he had already made his decision. She said she would feel alone... had even heard of her lips a declaration of love. He wanted to think that she would exceed the time. How could a being sweet to hurt someone on a whim his? How to pluck her and bring light to the darkness? Better to cut any ties at the time, make a clean wound soon healed, better than drag her to everlasting suffering. She could not fall into the pit. She must not enter. She was not to be as he gnawed by hatred and revenge. It was impossible for him to reject her, but could not return her love. He was not pure. He was not the right person for her to deposit her affection. She deserved a happy life, carefree. In his world, that dark and bitter world, she did not deserve to live. He did not imagine to expose her to terrible situations that awaited him in the path he had chosen to follow. He could only say "thank you".
Only thank you.
Because he realized that he could not protect her. He knew when complete his revenge his life would crack and he was sure that she would be endangered by himself.
He was not wrong.
How long he waited to see her again? He did not remember much of that time, or trying not to remember. He had become almost mad. He had made countless mistakes and could not blame anyone for what he had done. He did not want his pathetic self-pity 'he' of fifteen. And the years surrounding that age.
They were vague, diffuse memories. But the fact that he had tried to kill her he could not forget. Neither people nor to him. They said that was a reason they never had guessed that he even achieved to want her. He wondered if he ever thought of being able to love someone after so many years of suffering and persistent and continuous pain. Stormy. But to them what would it matter? It was his life and he could do whatever he wanted. He felt, perhaps more than ordinary people. If only felt pain. Maybe they had taken everything he had, everything that could appear to the eyes, everything precious to him. But though it was hiding, anybody had torn his heart.
It was unavoidable pronounce his name every time...
He was inevitably indulge in that look of wonder in his eyes when he saw her again. Did she still remember him? Had taken effect his words so she seek another path far away from him? At that time he was expecting an affirmation for last sentence. Bonds of friendship? He claimed he not needed it.
He did not want any feeling, only revenge and destruction. He should not remember how he felt about his former team. In his head should not do anything but imagine the satisfaction of fulfilling his purpose. And while other reflections suddenly furrowed his train of thought, he was an excellent actor and hid them perfectly. The old genuine child with his words had disappeared when he was gone.
In his lucid moments, he could better see his former team, he could see her. She was taller, more beautiful. And best, much stronger than before. Getting stronger.
But he painted everything he did as if it was made only for a mere whim of destruction.
Destroy all...
—Sasuke-Kun!
Every time she stood in his way, her voice still seemed penetrating him. Aroused in him the old boy of twelve. And gradually he was buried her. Because she no longer remained standing behind him. She ran toward him. But because he had taken the courage to attack him.
Maybe yes, she had already forgotten him.
It would the best.
But, if he was not important, that meant she could betray him. He do not let that happen.
How could he have taken only two seconds to decide hurt her? Good thing somebody had stopped him. The time had passed, but in that moment, he would really hurt her? Are such things that may never be able to forget. A deep, wrenching repentance. The fact that he was blinded by the pain and bitterness, almost lost amid a dense, dark madness, did not justify his attitude, no comfort to people who knew the dreadful part of the story, not even himself.
He did everything he wanted reversing.
Destroy, destroy...
Kill him...
Destroy all...
How could he take steps to return to the path she had left long ago, completely sure that he no return? When realized he had to change direction? The memory of her brother had changed of causing bitterness, causing a deep wound. It hurt. It hurt so much that reminded him of what was considered to be repentant.
In all the time happened, his brother had followed him loving.
We love, then we hate; we hate, then we love. The human heart can experience these changes in no time. It can destroy and grow. Although this loses its shape, shredded and crumble, always something nice can reform. And, having known the worst pain that is infinitely superior to any other kind of love.
His brother had given him a new worldview. Although revenge seemed not to leave his side. Probably never would. He started a new purpose in his life.
But first he had to protect them, them, their team, and all the people. He had remembered them. He do not allow to do the same mistakes as his brother. He do not allow his fight stay finished. He had many more plans. The ambition was also congenital part in him.
He could not postpone the time, everywhere there was despair. The Team 7. Naruto was trying to save him? He was stubborn enough that Sasuke could say definitely, yes. He should devise a way to stop him once and for ever. How would react his former teacher? And Sakura, how would her react? Perhaps, after so many mistakes, she definitely had forgotten her childhood love. It would ideal. It was what he expected every time he saw her. She remained a hindrance in their new plans. Had no place in his world, that was a bit better lit, but remained gray.
And he found her again.
How can change both the perception of one, just easing a little heart? He saw her wounds of war, her surprised face, her green eyes dilated. He heard her voice again, but this time, his voice reached his spirit. Her voice reached him really. It was his name.
—Sasuke... Kun…?
He caught the note, despite being weak. Perhaps equally weak he was present in her.
—Sakura.
It was like a game, which is always repeated. He did not stop reciprocate her, calling her too.
—Sa-Sasuke-kun!
The power of his voice had appeared again. Was that good or bad? Was she just surprised, or else happy? They had called him enemy. But, as he was said in the beginning...
He did not care what people say.
Because they do not knew him really. He could struggle to become who he wanted, and as he would like. He must keep fighting. Naruto and Sakura joined him too. The team had met again. Not really bothered him. Was what could be defined as 'nostalgic'?
Then he saw really the power of the girl who had grown. In she, the power of a sannin. The power of Sakura Haruno. He could not hide his smile. She was amazing. And she calling his name many times.
That must not have pleased him.
His old friend had changed. His power was unmatched. It was not the most flattering for him. And he in his new plans also interfered.
But still should protect them. He wanted to protect them.
Perhaps he wanted to protect her.
But he should not. He could not.
Naruto was faster in reaching her.
And she was aware of what he did or did not do. No. He did not need her. She should not be there. She was a hindrance. Sakura was ... Bah! He was completely mad at her. Angered. He had noticed, she kept trying as before, as when she loved him. Was that possible? After all he had done to her? What nonsense! She must find out who was Sasuke Uchiha really, if in all those years, and a couple of times when he wanted to erase her from his way, had not noticed. He was cruel and ruthless. Only aware of its particular objectives, to get to meet their goals, regardless of the means and who should sacrifice. Including her.
He tried to prove her. He tried to get her away as he had always known doing...
Error. He had not been able to do it.
She had never been moved away him.
Her voice was always there, calling him. Just like at the time he disappeared into a strange dimension and through her could return. He admired willpower her and Naruto who, notwithstanding, had always been there. It was the first time he felt that twinge of remorse that so far appeared. That slight stinging, arguing against his fierce roughness with that woman who never left him.
Sakura.
See her suffer so much... that was something that apparently he could not withstand. In his head began to appear several times like this, when his old friend had been in danger. He had quickly come to her aid.
He could have let her fall. He thought it. Maybe that would have been enough to erase any trace of her affection for someone like him. But he did not it. He took her before off balance. She was completely exhausted, had done a great job. She had helped to perfect his own ability. She had done it with all her might. And yet even at the expense of her own safety. Her arm was burned, her eyes narrowed showed great exhaustion and worse, she trembling.
He thanked them. He thanked her.
When was the last time he had touched her? He no longer remembered. Maybe that night when he deposited her small body on the bench before leaving Konoha. He took a few seconds to look her better, their eyes met. Her eyes were so beautiful. She had always been pretty. Now she was even more beautiful.
But despite being reunited with his former team, having fought back to back, his new ambition had not changed. No one could make him change. Does anyone had done before? Moreover, its renewed objectives were not bad. No longer wished to destroy, but fix and rebuild.
A revolution.
He just needed to kill Naruto.
It was inevitable.
But she confessed again. Why, after all he had done? He did not deserve her. If she still talking this time something could change. Perhaps. Sakura was too persuasive. He recalled her first confession, when they were still children. She had said the same, had asked him not to go, that would not sink further into darkness. But he had not heard her. Neither did now. He repeated his past actions; called her a nuisance and 'sleep'. Was he always unconsciously that kept her away from things that would definitely hurt her? The fight with Naruto would be too dangerous for Sakura awake and able to stand and exit wound. He could not do that. He had never been able to reciprocate her.
But neither reject her.
In his mind again and again questioned why she still felt attracted to him. A corrupt and detestable being. There was no reason to love him, to care for him, even. That just caused her suffering. She did not must suffer for him. Because he does not yet feel able to love someone, someone who could easily lose, as had happened with his family. Perhaps he never could do it again. No, definitely not think he could do it. She had better find a way to stop wanting him, because he did not intend to change. He was alone. And he had to carry out his purpose. Receive instead of love, hate. Because no one else should carry that burden, just him. Because he had no family who cared him.
He was alone.
And he did not care what others should tell him.
Then he met with Naruto in the place where they had been fired years ago. Where he had broken his ties with everything almost came to love. He wanted to destroy all the past. Naruto felt the opposite. And yet he was as close to him as a best friend. If he eliminate him, all ties disappear, the people would hate him, including Sakura and then could build a new world from the ashes.
But Naruto was still scandalous, even though they were no longer children.
He said that "there are things that one can do alone." Itachi had said something. His friend decided to save him, and never gave up.
Because Naruto never stopped seeing him as a friend. He also understood their pain. They both knew what it was to suffer. He and Team 7 were like family. Despite all the envy that caused him to see him, he was like his brother Itachi. He made him clearly see who could change. So he could not carry out his plan.
Hate expects more hate, but not love. Because with love, it cannot win.
He had lost. He had decided to hear what Naruto said. Perhaps, had many, many people who did not deserve to be heard. But a friend who sincerely cares about you, yes. A true friend will not let you do what you want, because sometimes what you want is not right. That's when you need a good blow, to wake up and take the right path. Finally he understood.
A tear filled his face. Repentance spread within him, everything bad that he had did for people who just wanted to help him. He wanted to pay off his debts. Should pay all his debts.
The first, and most important of all, no doubt, was Sakura. She and Naruto never gave up, never saw him as a hopeless case. They never cut ties with him.
—Sakura... I...
—Shut up.
Had he really achieved with his misdeeds finish all the love she once felt? He deserved it. He deserved everything she wished to make him.
—I'm sorry...
—Are you repented..? Why?
—For all I did...
—You'd better damn well be…
Why did she not hit him? He deserved it. She must not forgive so quickly. Nobody should. Not even when he say sorry so many times.
He needed time to digest everything. All that world that seemed to light at last. That world out of the pit of his former thoughts. He needed to remove them completely, Sakura should not see more mud on him.
No longer would do never suffer her again.
He expected her to be patient. Although he knew that asking her too much, she had always hoped him. Her love, instead of declining, grew increasingly. He had always been grateful for that, and forever would be. He needed to touch her again, and found no better way, to say goodbye to her as did his brother with him. He touched her forehead with his fingers. Maybe she did not know, but it was one of the most important gestures had in his life. Itachi had taught him.
It was a gesture of love.
—Thank you.
By withstand all the suffering caused, by never leave him, because wanting him forever and have learned to love unconditionally. By always look at Sasuke who was underneath all that darkness. For everything.
Sometimes things do not go as planned, in fact, almost nothing. But when you grow up, and better looks at the world, we realize that if we stick to what we believe, persevering, struggling with conviction certainly be able to achieve. We must be patient.
Now he could accept the bonds that were always there. Now he could feel. Now he could shelter himself something lighter all the hatred and pain in his life, a slight feeling...
Love.
And with this new feeling, light and easy to carry, he returned.
Whether to continue living, winged could only be one person. That he knew long, filling his empty existence ago. One that gave color and life to your world. Who had always given her love.
Sakura.
Sure, there were many things that he still failed. He was not perfect. Had to travel many times and continue to pay the consequences of all his mistakes. But he knew that at the end of the day, had someone waiting for him.
People could judge him perpetually, could tell they did not like the path he had chosen, that decisions were taken were unforgivable, that he did not deserve any love. They only knew the old Sasuke Uchiha, the orphan boy that went mad for revenge. They did not know the Sasuke who enjoyed coaching and walks. Eating omusubi with Okaka and tomatoes, did not like sweet things. People only knew him could influence him. His few friends who trusted him.
Sakura.
And he wanted correspond finally everything she had given him. He had always seen her as part of his family. He do not want that never changed. He did not want her to leave his side. He knew there was not another person who was worthy to relive with him the Uchiha clan. Because this new family to be born, would as the foundation, love. That love he had fled from him and which he had also fled, now not moved away them.
From his precious wife, Sakura, or the greatest gift she had given him, Sarada.
The two beings he loved most in the world, why he would all...
His home...
His family.
I hope your opinions tastefully, I really would read them xD
Keep celebrating that SasuSaku is canon, no matter what people say n.n
