A/n sorry for the short chap but the next ones will be longer also disclaimer - I do not own Stargate Atlantis...Unfortunately *tear*

1. Do not touch anything without knowing what the device in question actually is.

A. It could be a device that calls bunnies to come and chase you

B. I thought it made sandwiches is not an excuse

The villagers weren't so happy when one of their most valued temples got destroyed, resulting in them chasing sga3 off the planet whilst using their own weapons against them.

2. Do not say the name Mary-Sue in the presence of SGA-1.

A. Better yet never mention it

B. It brings back horrible memories that lead people into running and hiding under a table for days

Everyone remembers what happens when a Mary-Sue arrives and also it stops any new recruits being killed by Ronon.

3. I don't care if he is annoying there is no reason to beat the poopie out of Kavanagh

A. Or attempt to kill

The annoying scientist that probably shouldn't be a scientist (no offence to Kavanagh fans) was getting on everyone's nerves. So far most of the population of Atlantis were pulling straws on who got the chance to try to kill him next.

4. No trying to kill McKay either

A. If he's dead then who else is going to save our butts?

B. Or fix the hot water?

After rule 3, the people decided to pick on a new target. A target who just so happened to be highly allergic to citrus. After spiking his food with lemon and almost dieing this rule was posted.

5. No singing CaramellDansen off world

A. It's Annoying

B. Just no

No one knows why they decided to sing this but now the planet P4X-564 worshipped the song with the dancing ears.

6. No taking pop tarts off world

A. The people of PX1-456 now only traded if pop tarts were involved

SGA-6 were hungry, they had pop tarts; now the natives of the planet were "slightly" addicted to the pop tarts.

7. Stop trying to give hamsters the ata gene

A. It's mean to test on animals

B. Hamsters aren't like humans, humans can tell whether to activate a device or not. Surprisingly hamsters can't do that

After a certain doctor teamed up with a scientist, they decided to see if hamsters could have the ata gene. Unfortunately they managed to loose said hamster whilst SGA-1 was off world. This resulted in the hamster almost destroying the city. Fortunately for Atlantis, SGA-1 came back earlier than expected and saved the day.

8. Do not insult the natives in anyway

A. I don't care if their beliefs are unbelievable and coo-coo

B. It's called respect

C. Just because sga-1 did it and managed to save the day because of it (rule 7) doesn't mean it's ok

During the time of the hamster incident, sga-1 managed to disrespect every single one of the planets beliefs, also it didn't help that Sheppard was hitting on the chiefs daughter with his kirkness.

9. No fireworks off world

A. Having the natives addicted to pop tarts and CaramellDansen was bad enough

New years eve was coming up soon and before anything could happen this rule was posted. Most people thought it would be for the safety of the natives but really was for the safety of Atlantis; so that they will not be attacked to death for more fireworks.

10. If you're going to have a pee behind a bush, at least find a bush that actually covers up what you're doing

A. Also one that was far away from people

The scientist on sga-7 decided to do this, but forgot that he was surrounded by people. The rest of his team stayed in therapy for 3 weeks and were still having nightmares about it.