A/N: Hello my fellow readers! I'm Inkblot95, and this is my very first Kung Fu Panda fan fiction! Technically, this is also my first story on this account, but I have another account where I've written 7 stories for the Teen Titans. Bottom line, I've had some experience writing fan fiction stories. I'm not much of a talker, so the only thing I want to mention is the fact that my writing skills are pretty amaturish. I am well aware of the fact that I can't spell, use proper grammar, do story structure, or figuring out where to put the stupid commas, so please, for those of you who are really picky about those kind of stuff just bear with me. It's just as painful for me to correct my mistakes as it is for you to read them. Believe me, it drives me nuts!
Disclaimer: Inkblot95 does not own anything Kung Fu Panda related including the characters, the Valley of Peace, techniques, or anything else. There may be some OC's that I might include in my stories, but other than that, I don't own anything.
Rating: K+ for mentioning the birds and the bees story. Other than that, there's noting really bad in this, unless you think a bunny wanting to use the wuxi finger hold on other bunnies is pretty graphic.
Chapter 1: Tall Tale
"Good morning Dragon Warrior!" The group of bunnies chorused together.
"Good morning students." Po grinned and bowed, in which his class did the same.
'Man, I'll never get tired of this. It's so awesome!' He thought with a goofy smile plastered on his face.
"So, are you guys ready for another fun filled day of kung fu awesomeness?"
"You bet we are!" The children cheered excitedly.
"I want to learn how to chop a whole cinderblock in half!" A boy bunny exclaimed and thrusted his paw down in a karate-chop motion.
"I want to be able to punch holes through walls!" A tan bunny threw a punch at one of the Jade Palace's walls, winced, and drew his fist back in pain.
"I WANT TO LEARN THE WUXI FINDER HOLD!" A girl bunny yelled and chased a screaming crowd of bunnies around the training yard with her pointer finger and thumb extended, like she was going to pinch someone.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get carried away here." Po raised his paws up in a calming manner and motioned for the children to take their seats.
The bunnies obeyed without a moment's hesitation and gathered around the panda with eager ears. As soon as they were seated a tiny paw shot up in the air.
"Are you going to be teaching us some super-secret moves?"
"Sorry guys, but you're still not ready for the tough stuff."
The children groaned, which made Po chuckle.
"Besides, haven't I told you before that if I'd tell you the secret moves, they wouldn't be secret moves anymore? I got something better for you guys to do anyhow."
The children's eyes sparkled with excitement and began to ask questions, all at once. Po was having a hard time understanding what the bunnies were saying since all he heard was a mess of words and noises.
"Hold on, please, one at a time! You're making my head hurt." Po chuckled.
The children quieted down. There was a moment of silence until everyone's paws were up in the air.
"Okaaay, you. What's your question?" Po pointed to a gray bunny wearing a pink robe.
She seemed a little timid when she stepped forward. Her eyes never left the ground when she asked, "W-what are you going to teach us today Mister Dragon Warrior, sir?"
"I'm glad you asked, young lady." Po beamed, making the bunny blush a little and shyly return to her seat.
"Today," He waved the class closer to him. They scooted closer and leaned forward.
"Today, I will teach you-" He trailed off, trying to act all mystically and kung fuey by adding to the suspense.
"Yeah-" The children urged on.
"-How to focus your inner chi." Po finished enthusiastically.
Everyone went silent. The bunnies stared at their teacher blankly.
"I know, I know. Exciting right?" Po rubbed his hands together.
"No." Someone said from the back of the group.
"Laaame." Another voice chimed in.
"What the heck is chi?"
Soon enough, everyone began to talk at once again. Po felt his headache returning and pinched the bridge of his nose. He closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, just like Shifu showed him when they meditated, opened his eyes again, and stood up.
"Everyone quiet down!" He hollered over the roaring children.
Again the bunnies went silent, their concentration refocused on their teacher once again.
Po sighed happily, "Much better. Now, focusing your chi is very important in kung fu. Without doing so, you'll never master anything."
"I still think this sounds boring. Can we do something else?"
"Guys, c'mon. This is important." Po groaned.
"Tell us another one of your stories Po. You know, like how you told us about the Five." The same tan bunny who wanted to learn how to punch holes in walls suggested.
"No, stories are boring. I want to hit something."
"Actually, I'm all for the story thing."
"Yeah me too."
Eventually, the rest of the class were in a unanimous agreement with this idea.
"Y'know, the whole purpose of me being a teacher is to actually teach you guys something, not to tell stories." Po stated.
"But you taught us about patience,"
"And courage," A girl bunny called out.
"And discipline," The familiar tan bunny raised his paw.
"And compassion," A boy bunny pointed out.
"D-don't forget confidence," The shy bunny added.
"-When you told us stories."
"Yeah, I know, but Grandmaster Shifu won't let it slide this time and I'll get in trouble for not educating you-"
"Pleaaase?" The class begged.
Po sighed, thinking it over in his head, before finally giving in.
"Okay, you've convinced me. So what do you want to hear this time? The Battle of Firey Demon Mountain? How Oogway became Grandmaster of the Jade Palace? Or maybe the story of how I ended up finding a lucky silver coin near the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom?"
"Tell us a love story." A girl bunny suggested.
Po jerked his head back, not in the very least expecting a request like that. The rest of the girls nodded their heads feverishly.
"A l-love story?" Po asked, his cheeks turning slightly pink.
"No way! I don't want to hear some crummy love story. Only girly-girls like that dumb stuff." The tan bunny grunted.
"It's not dumb!" The girls argued.
"It is too." The boys retaliated.
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Not!"
"Too!"
"Not!"
"Too!"
"I'm sorry, but I can't tell love stories." Po butted in.
"Why not?"
"Because he's not a girl, stupid."
Po shook his head, "No, it's just that... well, you see... I'm not good with all that mushy stuff."
The boys smirked and stuck their tongues out at the girls.
"But, surely you have been in love before, Dragon Warrior. Why not tell us your own love story?"
At that, Po's face turned a bright red. The girls gasped and screamed in a fan-girlish like way.
"Master Po is in love with someone! That is so cute!" They giggled.
"I-I am n-not!" Po ran his paw down his face to try and get rid of his blush.
"Denial." The girls chorused in a sing-song voice.
"You girls are so stupid. The Dragon Warrior doesn't love anyone. He's a kung fu warrior!"
"So? What does it make any difference if he's a kung fu warrior? You can still fall in love!"
"Kung fu warriors don't fall in love. It's just dumb."
"Tell us the story Master Po! Tell us! Tell us!"
"I already told you, I don't love anyone, but if you guys want a love story so badly, then I guess I have no other choice but to tell you one." Po sighed.
"Even if it's the crappiest love story in the history of love stories." He mumbled to himself.
The girls cheered and gathered around Po closer this time. The boys, who were the least enthusiastic, slowly returned to their places in the back. The panda waited for his class to get settled before he began.
"Okay, so there was this guy, and, he's was pretty awesome at kung fu. I mean, he's was like, the best in all of China. His name was, er... um... Po- I mean Ping! Yeah, that sounds about right. His name was Ping and he was a panda."
"Like you?" One of the bunnies asked.
"No! He's nothing like me. My name is Po and his is Ping. Weren't you guys listening?"
"Sorry."
"Anyway," Po continued, "He fought many villains."
"What about the girl?"
Po blinked, "What?"
"You didn't mention the girl. You completely forgot about her."
"The girl? Oh, the girl! Right. Pfft, I didn't forget about the girl. She was, uh-"
"He wasn't kidding when he said he couldn't tell a love story." A girl bunny with gray fur leaned over and whispered to her friend sitting next to her.
"Hey! I heard that!" He exclaimed.
The children giggled again. Po let out a, "humph," and returned to the story.
"The girl's name was... Tigera? Yep, that's her. And she was a, tiger. She was also a kung fu master just like Ping. Together, with the Furious... I- I mean, together, Ping and Tigera fought to protect China. Did I say they were together?"
"Tigera sounds just like Master Tigress. So is the warrior in love with Master Tigress?"
"Yeah, I mean NO! The tiger is definitely NOT Tigress." Po said.
"Why is a panda in love with a tiger? They're different species!" One of the boy bunnies yelled out in disgust.
"So what if they're different animals. I think Ping and Tigera sound adorable together."
"But then, if they did get together, how would they have babies?"
Po's face went completely red, so red that it actually showed through his fur.
"Whoa now! Who told you about the birds and the bees story? My dad didn't tell me until I was fifteen!"
The bunny stared at him blankly.
"Okay, I don't think I want to know. Hearing it the first time was scarring enough. Anyway, back to the story. So you see, at first, Tigera didn't exactly like Ping. In fact, I would say that she kind of hated him. He tried to do things to impress her but she paid no mind to him."
"Well that's mean! How could she do that to poor Ping when all he's trying to do is impress her? Why doesn't she like him back?" The normally shy bunny protested, folding her arms and furrowed her eyebrows together. Everyone, including Po, looked at her surprised.
"I don't know. I guess love is just weird like that." Po frowned.
"This is a terrible story! It's not even happy! The hero should always get the girl in the end."
Seeing the sad and upset looks on their faces, Po suddenly got an idea to change things up a bit.
"Ah, but you guys didn't let me finish. Yeah, Tigera hated Ping in the beginning, but then one day, Ping faced a horrible and twisted villain who wanted to kill Tigera. Ping wouldn't let this happen and challenged the villain to battle, a battle which lasted for days on end until finally, when Ping was so close to death, he turned the tables on the villain and defeated him effortlessly. From that day forth, Tigera learned to respect Ping as a comrade and as a close friend."
The bunnies awed and smiled.
"A close friend? There's nothing romantic about being a close friend. Don't they ever get together?"
"Again, you didn't let me finish. Just a couple months after Ping's victory, another villain challenged the kung fu warrior for... uh... the hand of his companion, Tigera. Yep, he wanted Tigera as his bride. Ping, being totally devoted for the safety and well-being of Tigera, protected her from the soldiers that Lord She- Sherman, that Lord Sherman sent to retrieve his bride to be. Once he dealt with Lord Sherman's lackeys, he went after Lord Sherman himself. When he faced the devious and demented peacock, he was armed with these weapons that breathed fire and shot some sort of sphere that weighed like... a lot. Plus, it really hurts when you get hit by it."
Po got so distracted by the memory of being shot by Shen's cannon, that he unconsciously rubbed his stomach, almost as to relieve himself of an invisible pain. When he finally noticed what he was doing, he stopped immediately and grinned nervously at his class, in which they grinned back.
"At least, Ping thought so." Po replied.
"The battle between Ping and Lord Sherman was ten times harder than his previous battle but Ping kept his focus on one thing, Tigera. Ping wasn't about to lose the one he cared to a madman. He fought with unbelievable strength, giving his all to defeat the peacock. Lord Sherman, however, wasn't about to play fair. When Ping was so close to defeating Sherman, he turned his weapon of doom on Tigera and proclaimed, 'If I can't have her then neither will you.' Sherman ordered one of his guards to take aim and light the fuse. Just when Tigera thought it was the end, Ping pushed her out of the way and took the blow for her."
"Oh no!" The bunnies gasped.
"Oh yes." Po grinned.
"Tigera ran over and kneeled at Ping's side while Lord Sherman went on about how awesome he was for defeating China's mightiest warrior. She grasped his limp paw in her own and urged him to stay awake, to find the strength he needed to defeat the villain. When Ping was about to close his eyes forever, Tigera leaned in and kissed him. Tigera's kiss gave Ping the strength he needed to stand back up and finish off Sherman. Ping stood proudly over the unconscious peacock as all of China celebrated his victory with him. In that moment Ping and Tigera both realized something, and that something was that they couldn't live without the other. The two shared another passionate kiss under an endless sky of fireworks.
"And that, my students, is the end of my story." Po finished, and waited for their response.
His whole face was red with embarrassment by the time he finished his story. Po, even though he thought that it didn't quite turn out as bad as he originally thought it would, believed that the bunnies would give bad critiques, or worse, laugh at him.
"That... was..."
Po squinted, dreading the moment to come.
"ROMANTIC!" The girls screamed.
"SIMPLY AMAZING!" The boys followed shortly after with their reply.
"Tigera kissed Ping! That is so awesome!" The tan bunny, who hated the whole idea of listening to a love story in the beginning, jumped up and cheered as loud as both the boys and the girls. Everyone went silent and stared at him. When he finally noticed that he could only hear his own voice cheering he stopped and looked around.
"Uh, I mean-" He fiddled with his tiny paws, "Good for Ping."
"That was a lovely story Mister Dragon Warrior, sir."
Po smiled as big as his mouth could stretch. Save for a few other moments in his life, Po felt the proudest he has ever been.
"I'm glad you all liked it."
"So did they get married?"
Po paused for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes, yes they did."
"And they had panda-tiger babies?"
The blush returned to Po's face.
"Enough with the babies already!" Po exclaimed.
The class giggled once more.
"So, now that story time is over, how about I show you some kung fu moves?"
In the dining hall that night...
The Furious Five and Grandmaster Shifu sat at the table patiently while they talked amongst themselves. Po stood at the stove, scooping his famous noodle soup into each of the seven bowls.
"So, Dragon Warrior?" Shifu began, drawing Po's attention away from the soup and to his Master.
"Yes Master Shifu?"
"How did your teaching session go today?"
"It went great!" Po grinned as he started serving the soup.
"Those kids are fast learners. Almost as fast as me!"
"Yeah, just like you were so quick to master level zero?" Crane joked, causing the other masters to chuckle.
Po scowled, "I thought we were all going to drop that subject."
Crane just laughed, "I'm sorry Po."
Po shook his head and joined in on the laughter, "It's cool. I got to admit, it was pretty funny when I think about it. Even though I'd prefer not to."
He set a bowl in front of Viper and Mantis. Mantis was quick to start on his while Viper maintained most of her table manners by blowing on the soup first, and then placing it inside her mouth.
"It's good to hear that your kung fu class went well." Shifu nodded and joined the others in eating.
"What did you teach them?" Monkey asked.
"Just some basic moves, nothing too big or too small." Po said nonchalantly and handed Monkey and Crane their bowls.
"Cool." Monkey simply replied.
Po walked around the table with two more bowls in his hands and reached over to give Tigress her soup.
"How's your story telling coming along?" Tigress blurted out unexpectedly.
Po nearly dropped her bowl of soup. Some of the hot broth, however, manage to spill all over his torso and scald his skin underneath his fur.
"Ye-OUCH!" He quickly, but carefully, set the bowls down on the table and searched around for something to wipe the broth off with. Tigress reached for her dinner cloth and handed it to Po. He grabbed it with incredible speed and briskly wiped the liquid away.
"Wh-what?" Po squeaked.
"Tigress, what does this have to do with our discussion?" Shifu asked skeptically.
Tigress shrugged innocently, "I was just wondering how Po's storytelling was coming along, that's all."
"I-it's fine, I guess?" Po's voice faltered as he handed her the noodle soup and cloth back and quickly sat down in his seat.
'Oh great. I hope that she wasn't eavesdropping on my class today. Especially when I was telling that stupid story.' Po thought to himself.
By now, the rest of the Masters were too busy eating to notice Tigress suddenly lean over in Po's direction.
"I thought the story about the tiger and the panda was actually really good, but the characters sound a little familiar, don't you think?"
At that, Po spat his soup out in a long spout of broth and noodles and splattered across the the table, which, in turn, managed to get on some of the Masters' in the process. Po started choking on the soup that managed to go down his windpipe and began to pound at his chest with his fist.
"Tigress, *thump* can I *thump* talk to *cough cough* you outside *THUMP*."
"Alright," Tigress told Po then turned in Shifu's direction, "Master, may we be excused."
"Please, by all means." Shifu said crossly as he wiped the soup on his face away with his hands.
Tigress followed Po out of the dining room and into the hallway. Po's obnoxious coughing echoed outside until it was faintly heard, then silenced.
"How much did you hear?" Po asked hoarsely.
"Pretty much the whole thing." Tigress said seriously.
"Oh." Po felt the heat rise to his face to a point where he felt like his fur had caught on fire. Beads of sweat gathered around his forehead and his paws. The two stood there in awkward silence with Po prodding his pointer fingers together and looking in every possible direction but the feline's who was standing with her arms crossed and her body leaning casually against the door frame.
"I told them I wasn't good at telling love stories." He mumbled to himself.
"You're not very good at making up names either. Not to mention you're a bit of an over exaggerator."
"Geez, I am sosososo sorry! I shouldn't have told that stupid story."
Po was literally shaking with embarrassment. The way she was staring at him made Po feel like she was using some sort of shrinking ray to make him feel smaller. The sweat began to pour out of him. His fur sort of glistened in the light from all of the tiny water droplets that clung to the tips of his fur.
'This is BEYOND embarrassing. Why did you have to let your big mouth run, huh Po? You couldn't just keep your dumb fantasies to yourself.' His conscious was screaming inside his head.
"Um i-is i-" Po gulped, "Is it ge-getting hot i-in here? Or is it j-just me?"
His voice cracked again for what felt like the millionth time that day. He scratched his neck nervously.
"No. It's just you." Tigress said flatly.
Po took a deep breath. Gods did he want to hide right now. What he wouldn't give to own a shell.
"You probably hate me right now. I'd understand if you did and I can't even begin to say how sorry I am. It wasn't right for me to tell tall tales instead of actually doing my job. But don't worry Tigress, believe me when I say that'll never happen aga-"
Suddenly, Tigress leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on his lips. Po's eyes widened. When she pulled away, her normal hardcore expression was replaced with a warm and loving one.
"Like I said, I enjoyed the story." She simply said.
Tigress patted Po on the head and started to head back to the dining hall. All Po could do was stare at her retreating form. He tried to find his voice, but his jaw had long since gone slack and his brain felt like mush inside his skull.
"Oh, and one more thing," Tigress turned around slightly, "Ping and Tigera'll probably have to adopt. They are different species after all."
That did it. Po's mind completely shut down. He felt his body rock back and forth until he felt the air rush against his face and his back hit the floor. The last thing he heard was the sound of laughter before he finally passed out.
A/N: And there you have it. I'm sorry if any of you guys think the story is kind of suckish, but hey, I'm not a professional author. I just do this for fun. So, if you guys want, feel free to review and tell me what you thought about it. Don't be afraid to leave me some constructive criticism for those of you who think my story might be lacking, or to help me improve my writing abilities for future stories. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.
~Inkblot95
