A/N: It's a weird fic, but Pratchett tends to inspire these in me. I highly suspect that my next Discowrld fic will be even weirder. Mind, I still think it's quite good.

Disclaimer: I do not own this. Alas. Woe is me. Waah.

Little People

Power over little people.

That's what it's really about, Maladicta knows. Every vampire knows this.

(Many humans know this, too, but that's okay because they do not really grasp what this means.

Those that do understand are…dangerous. To cross one of them, you merely have to be very, very foolish. There is a line between stupidity and bravery and the line is miles behind people like Esmerelda Weatherwax and Commander Sir Samuel Vimes.)

And she is frustrated, when her father scorns her when she takes the pledge; she knows that the little people can have power, too. If you go too far.

Maladicta is careful not too.

But being careful is hard and in any case boring and so Maladicta takes a different route. Joining the army is a risk, but not too much of a one. There are ways to hurt people without drinking their blood, or even killing them—and she is sure that if she is caught she will be able to escape.

(There are reasons, after all, that it is hard for a vampire to recognize when he has gone too far.)

And so she meets her squad, and she studies them.

Jackrum is an interesting man and, in any case, not really a man at all. She was shocked, and then bewildered, and finally amused when she found out, but some things started to make sense, after that.

He is a little man, Sergeant Jackrum, but not in the usual sense: where most people are little, and the little they have is loose, he is small but concentrated, fierce. He is a dangerous man, she knows, but she thinks she could get away with crossing him.

On the whole, she'd rather not try.

Tonker and Lofty are interesting, too. Tonker does not worry her: Tonker is filled with anger, but anger is easy to control and in any case, the anger is not aimed at her.

Lofty, now…the girl worries her. Maladicta does not completely understand Lofty, because even a vampire's mind will only stretch so far, and this is never good. But she does not think that Lofty will be a danger to her—unless, perhaps, she becomes a danger to Tonker. She is not sure.

Shufty amuses her. She wasn't sure, at first, why there was an extra heartbeat, but it didn't take too long to work out: Shufty wasn't plump, but pregnant.

Wozzer…is interesting. Maladicta suspected, for quite a while, that Wozzer really did talk to the Duchess, and was satisfied to be proven correct. The rest aren't exactly shocked either, of course, but being right is always good.

Igorina is naturally servile, and Maladicta—all vampires—and naturally not. Unless she loses control, Igorina will be of no danger.

Blouse is merely clever in a very stupid way. She is sure that he is of no danger to her, except perhaps by leading so badly she ends up getting killed.

Polly, now…Polly intrigues her, in a way that no one, mortal or otherwise, has ever done. At the beginning, she felt little, and though Maladicta knew better than to ignore her, she wasn't too worried. Polly was clever, and cunning to boot, but was too restrained by her society.

And then the restraints imposed upon her had begun dropping off, like chains coming loose, and Polly had grown and grown and grown. And while at first Maladicta had been leading Polly, Polly soon began to lead her—and in her coffee-deprived daze she'd been too worried to notice, and when she'd finally got her coffee she was resentful. And intrigued.

She'd tried shocking Polly, but that hadn't worked, and now she doubted that anything would: Polly was her own self, now.

For a vampire, it all comes down to power over little people: but Polly is big, and still growing, and for the first time Maladicta is unsure as to who has the power over whom.