Confessions of a Teenage Sidekick
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
~Eleanor Roosevelt
"Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~Helen Keller
I was a role model. I was admired. Someone who others looked up to, respected, now I'm unwanted. Me, Roy Harper, or Green Arrow's sidekick, Speedy, addicted to heroin. It was almost too easy to get addicted. Ollie had a trust fund set up for me. He went off, left me alone. It was easy to take the money and even easier to find a dealer. It was just too easy….Not that he cared what I did anymore. He did when he first adopted me. Then, I got to high-school and Green Arrow had more important things to do than look after his ward. Years of neglect, years of his arrogance, and self righteousness, I doubt he ever cared for me. The high and mighty Green Arrow just wanted a sidekick to show off to the other "super-heroes." A sidekick would show that he was a high roller, that he was a Batman, or a Flash, that he was a famous hero. Well, if he's such a big hero, why can't he find time for me? Why can't he help me? Why didn't he save me?
God, it was easy to get high every weekend and then, every day. Every day I needed a fix. And I needed more and more, each day. I began taking what drugs I could get, coke, acid, crystal, anything.. I sold everything I could for them.
I started blacking out. I would wake up in alleys, in bathtubs, in stranger's homes. Why or how I got there was no longer clear to me. I couldn't remember.
"Say a young man has someone he respects, looks up to….an older man! And say the older man leaves, goes around the country, gets involved with others and ignores his young friend! Then the guy might need a substitute, and he might see it in junk!"
I said that to him, and Ollie didn't understand that I was talking about myself. Maybe, I should have just said, "I'm on drugs, for God's sake, what the hell do I have to do to make you remember I exist?"
However, I know that this is no ones fault but my own. I chose to do this. It was my decision. I can't blame Ollie. I'm not one of the good guys anymore. I am a criminal, and a loser.
Seven days ago, I left Star City. Now, the League won't talk to me. The Titans will, but they don't understand. Chasing around mad scientists and villains is just kid stuff. They can't understand what heroin can do. My friend is dead because of it. I'm tired of being Speedy, the sidekick. I'm tired of being Roy, the junkie. I'll do what Grayson did, I'll be hero in my own right. I'll be a better hero than Oliver Queen was. I went cold turkey to prove myself to him. This time I'll prove I'm better than him. I'll be my own hero.
