Summary: Severus and Harry think they could love each other, if only circumstances allowed it.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is amazing at liife... i owe everything to her, except this story line ;)


"But what if I love you?"

He looks up sharply. Sighs. "Then you're making it worse. For both of us."

I look down at my feet; scuff the toe of one shoe with the heel of the other. " Do you think you would love me?"

"If I could?"

"Yeah"

He pauses, weighing his words. He's not debating on how he feels, only wondering if there's a right way to say it. "Yes. Yes, I think I would."

"Then you love me now, don't you?"

"Harry… Harry, I can't."

"True, but that doesn't make the heart stop beating. The rules people make won't keep it from loving."

"I can't, I just can't! We can't…"

"We can! What we can't do is deny how we feel. Technically, theoretically, we could-"

"But we can't."

I sigh, my shoulders sagging under the heavy weight of giving in. "I know," I whisper it, not wanting it to be true yet, "but oh, god, I wish we could."

He puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Me too," he says, "me too." I jump from the contact. God, how it feels to be touched by him, even just the brush of his hand on my back; I take the risk. "Hold me?"

"Harry..."

"Please, Severus, I've missed you, so much…"

"I've missed you too, Harry." His arms dangle helplessly at his side, as though aching to reach out to embrace me.

"Severus..." My eyes are pleading.

"I can't…" He whispers, and I understand; after such a long time of distancing ourselves from one another, the smallest touch would send us over the edge. I knew it, but I still didn't care.

"Please, Severus," I reach out to him, he pulls away. Tears sting my eyes, my heart aches, thumping painfully in my chest. "I'm not asking for commitment, just a simple gesture…"

"I'd give you thousands of hugs, gestures, I'd give you commitment, I'd give you all that and more if any of this was up to me!"

I smile, tears rolling slowly down my cheeks all the while. "I know. And that's what gets me through every day."

He stops pacing, comes toward me and says, almost imploringly, "You loved me for a long time didn't you?"

As long as I can remember. I think it, but I say nothing; he knows the answer as well as I do.

He looks into my eyes, stopping my breath. "I loved you since I met you."

I actually laugh. "Oh really now?"

He smirks, "Well, in the conventional sense of the word, yes."

"Conventionally."

"Yes"

"And emotionally? Physically? Spiritually? Whole-heartedly?"

A sob escapes him. "Long enough to make this break my heart."

"Me too," I say, "Oh, god, me too." I cannot help myself any longer. I pull him towards me, almost aggressively, possessively. He holds me close, tears streaming down our cheeks; seconds, minutes, hours, days could have passes and we wouldn't have known, just standing there together. He breathes in slowly, the scent of my shampoo tickling his nose, kisses my head.

"You have to go," he says.

"I know," I am choking on tears and emotions, words I cannot get out. I give him one last glance, and turn my back.

"Harry," he says. I turn around. "You asked me if I love you now. I do, Harry, I love you so." His voice breaks.

Now it is my turn to say what neither of us wants to hear. "Oh, Severus... then you're making it worse. For both of us." And I turn around and walk out of the office.


a/n: I hope you've enjoyed this first in a series of one-shots. Keep in mind that it will only be a "series" if this first story gets enough reviews!!!