Disclaimer: Yes. I am Kenny Ortega. I own Newsies, Santa Fe, Jack, and….YOU!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA


So that's what they call a romance,

With hetro Sex and Love,

Guess that everything you heard about is true

So you don't like guy/girl romance

Well, who said you needed too?

Ain't ya glad you've got slash waitin' up for you

When I dream on my own,

Dave's alone, but he ain't lonely,

For a slasher, Jack's his only one true love,

When the 'rent's are fin'ly sleepin'

I sneak out and start to clash,

I log on and then start reading…

Newsies slash


Then I squee

Like a Nut

And I'll faint and fall right over,

Cause' Snitey is the cutest thing alive

All I need's a few ideas,

And I can write until I lash,

Race to Crutchy,

Specs to Dutchy,

In Newsies Slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash


Where does it say Jack's going out with Sarah?

Where does it say Mush "met a goil last night?"

Why should the Newsies all be straight?

Why should we always stay up late

Reading crappy fanfics

Where Blink's finally getting laid

Breaking his back for some blasted Mary Sue?

If the slash don't seem to suit ya, please don't make a fuss.

It really ain't my fault

Racetrack's heart belongs to Mush!!!!!


Newsies Slash

It all fits!

You know that Snitch and Skitts

Are in love, you'll see the signs, no doubt, no shit

They got mad dancin' skillz

And of course, that makes them gay!!

I want Sprace, not just air!!

Flamers bash in my face, I don't care!

Dave and Jack…are a pair.


So that's what they call a romance

Ain't you glad you'll make a slash

Ain't you glad

You've got a love

Called…. Newsies Slash


A/N: Wow. I think I've found my true calling. Maybe I can be Weird Al's protégé!!