I don't think I ever recall seeing Ace so distressed, so angry, so furious, or the energetic lively crew so down hearted and broken up, it felt like the black clouds covering the pouring skies had also covered our hearts and there was no way for us to let the light in. Considering what a dark day today had been for everyone, I suppose this was normal? No, normal wasn't the right word to describe it, I don't think there is a word to describe what had taken over the crew at the moment. One of our family had been murdered… our brother stabbed and killed, and if it wasn't bad enough to lose one of our nakama, here comes the worst part, his life had been taken away by none other than our own comrade.

When I first heard about Thatch's death, I thought it was some sick joke, I definitely didn't believe that our strong fourth division commander had been killed, the commanders were the strongest members of the crew, they were the ones that kept everyone safe and made us feel strong, then I learnt that Teach was the one to kill him… one of the 2nd division, Ace's division, the division I was a part of. I didn't know Teach much but I knew he'd been part of this crew for quite a long time; before I or Ace had even joined the crew, probably before we had even been born too. Teach, no Blackbeard, that's the name he went by now, killing Thatch was no longer just about the murder, it was much more, it was about betraying our father's trust, stabbing us all in the back, like our nakamaship, our bond and our family meant absolutely nothing to him.

I watched the members of the crew each grieve in their own way, some cried, some sobbed, others got drunk, others were just angry, and I watched our father go silent, the look of pain and anger in his eyes made my heart ache, like I said I don't think I ever recall seeing everyone so broken up before. I sat on the railing, crying silently, as I tried so hard to fight the tears streaming down my face but with no success.

Ace had his fists clenched so hard, his knuckles went white and the veins spread across his arms were revealed, his teeth were gritted, his eyebrows crossed, and just by looking at him I could feel the heat about to explode from within him, he looked like he would snap at any moment, just break the next thing that comes in his way. Without saying a word he stormed off inside, some of the crew raised their heads to turn to him, others just didn't pay attention, too spaced out to notice who did what. I didn't know whether he wanted to be left alone or not, but I went with what my heart told me and that was that right now the crew needed to stick together more than ever and so I followed him into his room.

He didn't even turn to me when I walked in, I wasn't even sure he noticed anyone come in, he had his bare muscular back to me, the tattoo of our father's mark spread across it and I slowly closed the distance between us to trace the lines of the tattoo with my finger. He tensed at my touch and slightly tilted his face to the back to see me behind him, his raven locks covered most of his features though and I couldn't tell what expression he wore. I moved my hand away from his back to slowly wrap them around his front and pull him into a hug, he remained tense at first then sighed and I felt his muscles relax under my touch, and he put his arms over mine holding me close against him.

"…I have to go after him" he finally said breaking the silence and moved away from me, pacing the room, packing some stuff into a small green bag.

"Ace…" I struggled to find the words to say, the moment I knew that Teach was the one responsible for Thatch's death, I knew this would happen yet I hoped it wouldn't, I didn't want Ace to leave, not now, not when we'd already lost one commander. "You can't just leave" I slowly said, I really didn't know what else to say, I knew whatever reason I had wouldn't be enough to convince him to stay.

"I have to!" he repeated, still pacing around and shoving random stuff into his bag, he picked the log pose off the nightstand by his bed and fixed it around his left hand then turned to me, finally looking me in the eyes. "He killed Thatch, Rosa. He was under my command, my division, and he killed him."

"But it's not your fault! There was nothing you can do about it." I knew it all too well; I knew Ace would hold himself responsible for Teach's actions and I knew there was nothing I could say or do about it; I had lost this argument before it had even begun.

"Maybe not, but I can avenge Thatch's death, Teach was my part of my division which means stopping him is my responsibility."

"What about the rest of your division? You can't just leave us… Ace, please don't go, it's too dangerous" I could feel the tears in my eyes well up again as I did the only thing I was capable of doing, begged him to stay. This wasn't really about the division though, I knew that and he probably did too, I was selfishly using them as an excuse, something to convince him to stay when all I really wanted to say was please stay with me, don't leave me.

"My division should understand that I have to do this! It is my duty as the commander of the 2nd division" He replied stubbornly and still as determined as ever, completely unmoved by my pleading, he paused and sighed, his expression a little softer. "As part of my division, I expect you to understand that as well and be a little more supporting."

Right, part of his division, but being in love with him made it hard to treat him formally as a commander, to obey his orders and understand and respect his decisions without questioning. I knew he didn't treat me like the rest of the crew and that I probably got away with some privileges that the rest of the division didn't, like playfully punching him and him letting me, or getting mad at him over silly matters and stuff he did that I probably shouldn't even be mad at him for.

"What about as the girl who happens to be in love with you?" I slowly asked, looking down, my strawberry blonde locks falling over my face as I avoided letting my sapphire blue eyes meet his brown ones. I was probably being unprofessional about this, it wasn't fair for me to put him in such a spot, our relationship as nakama comes before that as lovers and our responsibility to the crew and our captain father came before anything else.

There was no reply for a moment, and I wondered what was going through his mind, then came his low response. "I can't do this right now, Rosa." He paused and a single tear ran down my face, he lifted his hand about to wipe my face with his finger then hesitated and pulled away. "My duties as a commander come first" came the expected reply.

"I… I know" I replied honestly, yes I knew it, I knew it when I fell in love with him, and I knew it when we got together but was it selfish of me to want him to choose staying with me over fulfilling his task as a commander? It's not like killing Teach would bring Thatch back or change what had happened… the only thing it would change is that it would take Ace away from me, and I couldn't stand the thought of that. The idea of losing him, of something bad happening to him terrified me, and made it hard to breathe or think or sleep.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, his voice too low that it was barely audible. He probably couldn't make up his mind whether he wanted me to hear him or not, Ace apologizing was quite a rare thing after all. "I should've never let this happen"

I knew he wasn't talking about Thatch's murder or Teach betraying us anymore, he was talking about our relationship, because whether we let it or not, we both knew that it did cloud our judgment and affect our decisions regardless of us saying that our bond as nakama comes first.

My eyes widened as I felt my heart break, I opened my mouth to speak only to close it again, this wasn't what I wanted to hear, this was in fact the last thing I'd been hoping to hear. When I followed him into the room, it was because I needed him, I needed him to comfort me, like he always did, to let me know that everything will be alright.

"Do you regret it then?" I struggled to ask as more tears streamed down my face.

"Ofcourse not!" he immediately answered, sounding a little offended by my question, like I should know better and his famous catchphrase came next. "I have no regrets."

I smiled, but it was a sad smile, not a fake one, but one that would probably get followed with cries the moment he walks out the door, which I knew would happen soon as our conversation was coming to an end. I didn't say another word and he took that as a sign for him to head out as he was done packing whatever items he could fit into that small passenger bag. He tossed the bag over his shoulder with one hand and then made his way to the door. He stopped when he passed by me and planted a quick kiss on my forehead.

"…Good luck…" I said with a halfhearted smile; as I looked up at him with watery eyes. "…Commander." I added. It was a title I had probably never formally addressed him by, I knew most of the division did, but to me he was always Ace, my Ace and maybe that's why I felt the need to call him by that right now, to somehow get it through my own thick head that he was in fact my commander and that I had to put my feelings aside for now just like he had.

He seemed a little startled by me calling him that and a little sad and hurt as well, neither of us wanted things to turn out this way, but then he gave me a smile of understanding and said "Take care of yourself while I'm gone" as he turned the door handle and finally stepped out, leaving me behind with all my worries and sorrow.