The big wide world

A leah clearwater fanfiction

( A/N This is set 1 year after Breaking Dawn I also changed a few things about the story

I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT )

Leah's POV

I made a promise to myself that when i knew my mom and seth were stable i would go out and find my own dreams make something of myself. Having the ability to turn into a giant wolf wasnt going to stop me. Mom and Billy had been engadged for almost a year and Seth was happy enough but here i was still in la push staring at the same 4 walls of my room, Alone.

Although it never bothered me being alone, hell, i prefered it when your in my situation you treasure the time you have alone with your thoughts because you know it wont be long before you have the voices of your brothers in your head, that was one of the many down falls of being a wolf your thoughts and your mind were never private.

They could see everything you saw, anything you thought they could see it, anything you felt they would feel it to, it really sucked. I learnt after a period of time how to control my emotions and thoughts but that led me to being called heartess.

I will still stick to my plan, One day i will leave La Push and i will find out what it is like outside the world i live in. I wanted to find a place where wolfs and vampires only existed in fairy tales where i could be anything i wanted to be, a place where I wouldnt be judged.

I pulled open the draw to my dresser and removed the only contents it had, 4 Sealed envolopes. I had decided long ago that when the day came that i would leave, i wouldnt tell anyone I was going, some people may say that was a cowards way out but for me it was the only way out, If anyone knew i was leaving they would go to Jake and he would use a alpha order on me and i would have no choice but to stay, If i was going to leave this was the only way. Inside the envolopes where letters that would explain everything. These letters were addressed to : My mom and Billy , Jacob , Seth and Sam. They where the only people i felt like I needed to explain to.

'' Leah are you ready we have to go we are going to be late for the bonfire '' Seth screached from the stairs.

'' Almost, i will be right down '' I had completely forgot about the bonfire. I raced around my room putting everything i would need into my bag, I pulled my hair into a tight bobble i then looked down at what i was wearing, a pair of light blue denim shorts and a navy tank top , it would have to do i didnt have any time to change, i put on a pair of sandels and raced down the stairs to find a very impatient Seth tapping his foot and glaring at me.

'' What toke you so long Mom and Billy have been in the truck for 15 minutes waiting '' Seth was never a very patient person

''Im sorry i just lost track of time '' We raced out of the house and got into the truck on our way to the bonfire.

The pack was back together now , well sort of , we were like one pack but because Jake had broke away followed by Me , Seth , Embry and Quill we had to take orders from Jake.

Paul, Jared, Brady and Colin toke orders from Sam, we all looked at it like one pack with two alphas.

It was then that I decided i would leave, I wouldnt break away from the pack as i knew one day i would return and want to carry on being a wolf, but for now i wanted to travel the world and see what it had to offer. It was just then that i realised we were at first beach, I could see the distant orange glow meaning that the bonfire was already in full swing.

As we got closer i could hear a mumble of people chatting and every now and then a out burst of laughter, as we arrived i toke my usual seat next to jake, Seth came and sat next to me and handed me a drink and a plate of food it was then that Billy called for attention and began telling the legends of the tribe. My mind floated back to my plan, i knew that i would leave but when, the house is never empty long enough for me to pack my things and go and thats when it occured to me, Now. Why didnt i think of this before it was 5:24 pm, our house would be empty until atleast 10 that would give me more than enough time to get everything packed and leave. I knew that if i didnt leave now i never would, i just had to think of a way of getting home and making sure i go alone. I knew what i had to do i got up from my seat and made my way over to were my mom was sitting and i toke a seat next to her '' mom im not feeling very good i think i am going to go home and rest '' it was a long shot that my mom would believe me, i slowly raised my eyes to look at her and noticed the worried expression she had on her face, this was it. '' That's fine sweet heart would you like anyone to come with you and make sure your ok '' typical mom always a worryer '' no its fine mom i will be ok you stay and enjoy the rest of the night i think im just going to sleep anyway '' i tried to make myself sound convincing and it worked '' ok i will see you when i get home hope you feel better soon '' This was it i was finally leaving, i walked up the beach away from the bonfire, i had debated on walking home but thought better of it and instead headed towards the woods, i would phase and run home after all i didnt know when i would be able to do it again. I slipped off my top and shorts and my shoes and tied them around my neck and phased. I started to run home as fast as i could, its strange i would actually miss doing this i would miss the freedom i got while i was phased. I felt my eyes fill up , NO leah you are not doing this now, i continued to run untill i saw the familuar porch through the trees i phased back got dressed and made my way to the house, it was wierd knowing this wasnt going to be my home for much longer. I had decided i was only going to take things that were nesicary, i went to my wardrobe and pulled out some bags i would start with my clothes, i emptied the contents of my wardrobe in a bag, lucky i wasnt a very materialistic girl and only had few clothes and shoes. I then packed the few photographes and some other things i wanted to take. I had 3 bags by this point and only had one left i turned to look at my wall where i had 3 photographes hanging , i toke the first one off the wall it was a picture of me and Seth when we were little. The second picture was of the entire pack, we had all decided to take a photo to look back on when we were old and the Thrid picture was of me, Seth , my mom and my dad. I placed the three into the bag along with my passport and a few other things. I reached under my bed and pulled out a final bag, my dad gave me this before he died it had all my inheritance money in it, i had also added some money to it. I toke the bags and the four letters downstairs, i placed my bags by the front door and went into the kitchen, I toke some food for the journey, grabbed the house phone and called a cab. I placed the four letters onto the counter and toke one final look around the house. I had decided long ago that the first place i would go was Greece to visit my Grandmother, i would stay with her for a while and then choose my next destination from there. The cab had pulled up outside i grabbed my bags, taking one last look around before climbing into the back of the car.

''Airport please '' and with that i was off, I looked out of the window taking in La push for the last time i didnt now when i would be returning, as we drove away i toke one last look at first beach, i could still see the orange glow of the bonfire, guilt started to take over me but this was my dream and before long La push was just a speck in the distance, i had finally done it i was on my way to reaching my dreams.

Seth POV

I loved having bonfire's not because the history of our tribe was told to us but because it was the one time we were together as a family. We didnt have much time together yeah we would go on patrol with eachother but it wasnt the same. We got to spend time with eachother without having to worry about vampires or imprinting or losing our temper we would just have fun. I looked around at the group of people who had become my family and i loved them all, i couldnt believe how many people had come. Everyone was involved in there own conversations and i just sat and observed. Billy and Mom were sat together talking in hushed tones, mom was probably talking about getting married they had been engadged for a long time now with no signs of actually getting married and mom was getting restless. Embry was sat with Quil both taking in turns to tickle a 2 year old Claire who was rolling on the floor in fits of laughter, Jared was staring longingly at Kim who was chatting with Emily about some film they had both recently seen, Sam was as usual over by the food table probably stocking up plates before everyone else noticed, Jake seemed to have the same idea as Sam and was making his way over to the table, Colin and Brady were trying to recreate some moves they saw on the wrestling, it wasnt going well, and Leah was staring into the fire lost in thoughts. Everyone had started to notice the food and had bombarded the table so i thought it would be best if i go up and get me and Leah some as she seemed to be elsewhere and i now she would be pissed if there wasnt any left. I filled two plates up and grabbed two drinks before making my way back over to my seat just in time as Billy had called for attention, I handed Leah her food and drink and she gave me a half hearted smile before returning her gaze to the fire and getting lost in her own thoughts again, I wonder whats wrong with her, I will ask her about it later. A while later Billy said he would have a break from telling the tribes history for us all to eat and chat, i turned to talk to Leah but as soon as i did she stood and walked over to mom, Thats wierd. Just then Sam came over it sat in the seat that Leah was sitting in just two seconds before.

'' Hey Seth , sorry we havent managed to talk lately how are you doing ''

'' hmmm yeah im uhh good how are you ''

I was only half paying attention to what he was saying, my gaze still on my sister who had now started to walk away from the bonfire

'' Seth ? ''

Oh crap

'' Yeah sorry Sam i lost concertration what was that ''

'' no worries i said do you know if your mom and Billy are going to be tying the knot any time soon, it just me and Emily where talking about it earlier and we would like to soon but obviously dont want to start planning it in case the weddings over lap ''

'' Thats great news but with mom and Billy im not sure, mom is getting a little restless about the whole situation i think your best off talking to Billy about it ''

'' ok thanks anyway ''

And with that Sam got up and made his way over to Billy, I saw this as a perfect oppertuinty to go and ask my mom where Leah had gone.

'' Hey mom do you know where Leah went, i saw her come over here and then she just left ''

'' she wasnt feeling very well she has gone home to rest, im sure she will be fine dont worry about it to much Seth you better get your seat Billy will be starting again soon''

'' Okay thanks mom ''

I walked back to the bit of drift wood i was sitting on moments before very confused about the converstaion i just had.

Leah is a wolf, we have very fast healing if she was ill why would she want to go home and rest she knows it would go soon and wouldnt last long. Billy had started telling the legends again but i wasnt listening. I was more concerned at why Leah went home. I sat there pondering for a while coming up with different sollutions Maybe she could smell a vampire no thats not it we would have to and she wouldnt have gone alone, maybe someone had annoyed her no thats not it she has be silent since we got here and she wouldnt have dealt with it that calmly. At that moment i had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, i felt like something wasnt right , something was missing i looked around me but everyone was there, for a moment i thought we were being watched so i looked all around but all i could see was a few couples walking along the beach and there was only a cab on the road heading for port angelies but something wasnt right, it was just then that i remembered, Leah. What if something has happened to her she is on her own she may not be defensless but she is alone i had to get to her, I stood and ran towards my mum, i thought its best not to worry her.

'' Hey mom im just going to check on Leah i will be back soon love you ''

Before she could say anything in reply i turned and sprinted for the woods, it would be much quicker if i phased, as soon as i could see the edge of the woods i pulled my clothes off by the time i got to the woods my clothes and shoes where tied around my neck and i quickly phase, i couldnt hear anyone in my head which means that Leah was still in human form i ran as fast as i could untill i picked up the scent of the house i phased back, got dressed and hurtled towards the house. There were no lights on this is strange she said she was coming home, I opened the door and stepped inside '' Leah '' there was no answer '' Leah are you down here '' there was still no answer panic started to kick in as i raced up the stair opened her bedroom door and what i saw teared my heart to pieces. There was nothing there No clothes, no pictures, no shoes none of her belongings and no Leah. I turned and ran downstairs and thats when i saw it, on the counter where four letters each with a different name on it one had mom and Billys one had Jacob one had Sam and the final one was addressed to me before even thinking i toke the letter addressed to me and ripped it open i noticed it was Leahs Handwriting, that calmed me a little and i began to read it :

Dear Seth,

How are you doing ? probably not a good question to ask so im just going to get right to it. Im so sorry it has happened like this you are my little brother and i love you with all my heart. Im sorry i didnt tell you but i had to go, Dont panic not for long just a little see i have not been myself for a long time, i hate that no one likes me i know i have changed a lot but with the cercomstances i think i could be a lot worse, the thing is i dont want to live like this anymore so i had to get away i think that traveling will help me find myself. I love the life i have and will be forever greatful that i was one of the choosen few to protect the entire tribe, never in my wildest dreams did i think this would happen to someone like me, But i have to see the world and in doing so i am hoping it will help me find myself , The me i lost years ago. Im sorry if i have upset you by doing so but please understand my reasons for choosing this and it had to be done this way it was much easier if no one new until i had gone. If you are wondering where i am going i will be visiting grandma in Greece first and stay there for a whille but after that im not sure, i need some sence of adventure, as much as i love what i do and who i am i want to find normality i want to find a place where i am not going to be judged be anyone i wanted a place where my reality is peoples fairy tales please forgive me Seth i love you with all my heart little brother Forever and Always

your sister

Leah x

It was then that i realised the tears streaming down my face, She has gone. Leah my big sister has just packed her things and left without a word. As much as i was annoyed at her for what she had done i was scared, i had never even gone a day without my sister me and we were like a team us against the world, with mom having Billy me and Leah only had eachother and now she was gone, I had to tell everyone, I had to get back to the bonfire and left everyone now Still clutching my letter, the only evidence i had that the last 15 minutes had happened, i ran, i ran as fast as i could not bothering to phase i just ran, i could feel the burn in my legs but carried on i had to and soon i could see the glow of the fire, i was close i didnt now what else to do to get everyones attentions so i just screamed and sure enough by the time i had reached them they all looked at me every one of them with a worried expression etched on there face, my chest hurt alot from running so i said the only words i could manage

'' Leah Gone '' I thrust the letter i was still clutching to Billy and he read it, from then on everything was just blurred, partly because the tears had started again pouring down my face like a waterfall but mainly because my brain couldnt function all i could think of was that Leah was gone and i didnt now when she would be back or if she would come back at all.