omg ish a new gurl hogwartz lol!!!!111oneoneone

By: Mary-Sue Gurl 4 Lyf lolz (Real Author: Lilly Serenitia)

Real A/N: This is a parody that I wrote out of pure boredom and hatred of Mary-Sues. Flames are appreciated, as the story will make you want to spork your eyes out. So (don't) enjoy! (This takes place during "The Sorcerer's Stone" I guess...)

Fake A/N: omg enjoy teh ficcay! and remember, if i dont get over 99999999 revews saying how absilutly wonderfull mai storie is, i wont continu! no flamz, n definitly no flamin my charator bcuz shez perfect lolZ!

chapter 1: the most perfect gurl, like, eva!

okie 1nce there was a gurl namd Mariah Susan Sakura Raven Neko-chan Ailiayah Kiara Leanna Kathleen Abigail Yumi Hikari Riddle but well just call her Mary-Sue bcuz shez perfect n all that lolz. she wuz stuningly butiful with shinny silvar hair and glitterring blue eyz which changed with her mood bcuz thats just cool nd such she wuz part veelah even tho her parnts are muggels and such lyk that bcuz shez just so0 purfect. her muggel parnts wearnt realli her parents thay jest adoptid her bcuz no1 noz wat happnd 2 her reall parnts but they knu her last name wuz Riddle so thay cept it that wai. so 1 fine dai in her lyk, house, she wuz sitting on her PERFECT bed being PERFECT when a owl appered at her PERFECT windo n handed her a letter! teh owl wuz lyk happi bcuz Mary-Sue had teh powr 2 calm ne animel bcuz tatz a kewl powr n she wuz perfect so she had 2 hav it. ne wayz, Mary-Sue opend the letter and gaspd in saprize! "omg this is a letter 2 go to a witch n wizerd skool! omg thats so cool!" she showed teh ledder 2 her parents who were verie happie with her bcuz they new she wood do even better this skool then she did her reguler muggel skool bcuz Mary-Sue was verie smart and perfect and stuffz lolz. a few weakz bfore the term started Mary-Sue and her prents went shoping 4 all of her skool supplyz dyagon ally. Mary-Sue new all about teh leeky calldrin nd how 2 get into dyagon ally evn tho she was muggel born bcuz she just did bcuz shez perfict. she gotz all of her stuffz nd went in2 ollivandarz 2 get her wand. that wand dood gave her lotz of wonds 2 try but none of them workd. "ur a real tricky custimer, Mary-Sue" he sed 2 her, then gave her a wand that had layd fergoten in the bak of his shop 4 yrz. "hear try this ish an interisting conbinashin" he told her as she piked up teh wond. "give it a wav" so she did nd red sparkz flu in2 teh air. "omg" sed teh creapy wond dood. "this is so kewl bcuz that wond gave 2 other fethers 2 harry potter nd lord voldamortt omg u must b reall speshal 2 get this wond" Mary-Sue sed nothing even tho she knu she wuz speshal bcuz evry1 told her that bcuz she waz teh most perfect persin on erth. she left teh shop nd got teh wand 4 free bcuz dat wond dood liked her so much. outsid the shop her muther sed "ok Mary-Sue chek ur list 2 c if we mised ne thing" so she tuk out teh list nd looked it. "it sez hear that studints may bring a owl an cat or an toed exept 4 Mary-Sue she can get all 3 bcuz shz super speshal." her prents cheared bcuz thay weer so prowd of there dotter. she got all of her animels nd thei luved her bcuz well u kno shz jest perfict. septembir 1st came realli kwickly 4 Mary-Sue bcuz she wuz reall bisy getting 2 kno all of teh stufz in her nu skool textbuks nd stuff. wen she got 2 kingz croz stashin she alreddy knu how 2 get on2 platform 9 nd 3/4 bcuz she jest knu im not going 2 bother 2 explain it yah itz mai fic i can do wut i want hahaha on u lolz. so she got on teh trein nd sed goodbai 2 her prnts nd got on the trein. "hi Mary-Sue" sed sum dood. "we r going 2 make u a prifect bcuz ur so kewl nd i luv u will u go owt w/me" but Mary-Sue sed no nd she thretind 2 curse teh guy w/her wond so he went away crying. Mary-Sue got a compartmint 2 herself bcuz shz perfect nd evry1 wuz realli disapointid cuz thei all wanted 2 sit with Mary-Sue. wen teh trein arrivd hogwrts evry1 got off teh trein nd went in teh botz if dey were in 1st yr lyk Mary-Sue wuz she shared a boet with harry potter ron weezly hermynee grangar end nevil longbottem nd thei told her she wuz perfict and she wuz lyk "omg yah glad u agreey" nd then they reached teh cassle and Mary-Sue sed "wow thats almost as big as mai house home!! lolz" nd they went inside nd prafezzer mcgonigle wuz all lyk "u will get sorted in2 ur houzez after profezzer dumbeldoor mackz his annonsemint so thei went in2 teh grate hall nd lissined 2 proffezor dumbaldoor. "welcome 2 a nu yr hogwurtz im glad 2 c evry1 is bak nd reddy 2 lern. im plzed 2 announs that we hav a transfar studint 4rom amarica with us 2 day her name is Mary-Sue Riddle." "acshilly my full name is Mariah Susan Sakura Raven Neko-chan Ailiayah Kiara Leanna Kathleen Abigail Yumi Hikari Riddle" sed Mary-Sue. "ok" sed dumbeldoore. "ill ask her 2 pertend that she's jest lyk evry1 els nd try on teh sorting hat even tho we kno she duznt hav 2" he went on "u can go last after evry1 els ok?" Mary-Sue noded and wotchd evry1 else get sorted in2 theyre hous. but evry1 in the hall all had there eyz on only Mary-Sue bcuz they were fasinated bye her nd all of teh guyz thot she wuz lyk omg hawt. wen it wuz Mary-Sues turn she put teh hat on her hed nd it sed out lowd 2 teh whole hall "i c... ur mind is lyk so absilutely fabulis nd such lyk ur perfect nd u culd b in ne of teh houz bcuz omg u hav all of the good kwaliteez 4 teh houzes so u can chooz! " said teh hat. "omg lyk reely? ur lyk teh coolest hat!!" sed Mary-Sue. "i'd lik 2 b in griffindor" she sed nd went 2 sit down there tabel. evry1 teh griffindor tabel cheared reall lowd bcuz thei all lyk totilly luved Mary-Sue, but evry1 teh ravinclaw huffilpuff nd slitherin tablez all bood bcuz they wanted Mary-Sue 2 b there table in there houz. "ish okie im reallee sorri that i cant b w/u all i luv u all so much ill try 2 spend as much tym w/all of u as i possibely can!" evry1 cheared nd then the feest wuz ovr nd it wuz time 4 bed nd Mary-Sue wuz happi so hur ey coler changd 4rom blu 2 pink. Mary-Sue reallie luved lyf hogwrts bcuz all of teh techerz luved her nd told her she wuz the best student evr even profezor snap he sed that Mary-Sue shuld b in slitherin nd Mary-Sue made a lot of 4rends lyk harry potter nd ron nd hermynee nd draco malffoy nd uther pplz but teh guyz all had a crush on her but she didnt kno dat she wuz 2 bizy with teh werk nd stuffz but 1 daiy ther wuz this lyk notice thingy that sed there was kwidditch practise nd Mary-Sue sed she had ben practising kwidditch since she wuz a little gurl evn tho hr parints wur lyk muglez so wen the practise began nd stuff she wuz lyk the best 1 there but then the nevle dood feell offa hiz lyk brumstik nd tha kwiddich lady had 2 tak him 2 tha hospitlwing so wen she wuz gon malfoyy took tha nvle doods remembr ball thingy nd thru it into tha air. harry potter got on2 his broomstik nd flu in2 teh air, nd so did Mary-Sue. malfoly thru the remembery thingy and both harry and Mary-Sue tried 2 cetch it, but Mary-Sue got their first bcuz shez perfect kwiddich just lyk evrything else she duz jest then prefessor mcgonigle came owt of teh skool nd took harry nd Mary-Sue to this lyk clazrum where they met this boi dude nd then he wuz al lyk "omg" nd prefezer mcgonical wuz all lyk "omg" nd then she told tha dood that she found him a lyk sekker nd he wuz all lyk "omg yey whitch 1" nd then she sed "eether one" but tha guy chose Mary-Sue becuz "omg ur lyk so hawt lolz" but harry wuznt mad he wuz all lyk "ish okie ur lyk so much better then me newayz bezidez ur hawt like yah" so Mary-Sue became teh nu griffindor sekker nd lyk thay won all der gamz bcuz she cot teh snich lyk all teh time nd evry1 sed "yey" bcuz thei all luv Mary-Sue even if der not in griffindor so all wuz going well 4 Mary-Sue she even helpt harry, ron, nd hermynea rescu hegrids dragin namd norburt they took him 2 teh towr nd set him free but they wer cot by that janiter dood nd he took them 2 profeser micgonigl ne she wuz all lyk "omg u all are jerks i h8 u ur stoopid i never want 2 speek 2 u again u all get detenshin xcept Mary-Sue" so yah nd harry fownd this lyk unikorn w/blood nd it wuz lyk ded nd stuff nd he wuz all lyk "omg not kewl" so he told Mary-Sue nd she told them about teh sercererz stone thingy nd they all thot that snap wuz trying 2 steal teh ston but Mary-Sue thot it wuz perfezer kwirrl but she didnt tell them all bcuz she mite b rong nd Mary-Sue hatz 2 b rong bcuz shez purfict so they fownd out how 2 get past te fluffie dog guy w/teh muzik so then dumbeldoor wuz lyk gone bcuz he went 2 get Mary-Sue some stuff bzcuz he thot she wuz cool after all she had her own dormitorie w/lyk this kichen nd bathrum nd stuff that wuz pink bcuz that wuz Mary-Sues fav coler ne wayz harry, ron, her-my-knee nd Mary-Sue all had 2 get past teh trapdor but hermynea wuz all lyk "omg dis sux we hav no muZik 2 put it 2 slp omg wear gonna dye" but luckly Mary-Sue had her britney sperz cd so she put it on lyk yah nd fluffie dancd then want 2 slp so they went down teh trapdor nd stuff lyk yah yah Mary-Sue figgered owt how 2 get past da devil snere nd teh keyz teh chezbord nd ta poshins thingy w/da riddel yah yah. then ron nd her-my-o-nee sed "lyk omg well try 2 get dumeballdoor so u guyz can go stop snap like omg u guyz rok yah yah" so then harry nd Mary-Sue went into this room with teh mirrer nd stuff nd thr wuz kwirrel he wauz all lyk "omg i cant believe it omg omg omg omg omg omg" "i thot it wuz snap" sed harry "i knu it wuz u all along ha" sed Mary-Sue. "omg Mary-Sue ur awesom" sed harry "i cant beleev u lyk figgered it owt omg omg" then kwirrl tuk off his lyk turbin hat purple thingy nd showd the other syd of teh hed nd harry wuz all lyk "omg i cant beleeve its voldamordt" "i knu it all alung" sed Mary-Sue tryumphintly then she told harry that voldymord wuz her lyk daddy yah yah so then she got teh ston nd harry fanted nd then voldymord go bye bye!! lolz lolz lolz hahaha then thay wer lyk bak in teh huspitl wingg nd dumebleadrawer expland 2 them about teh stuff nd yah yah but by then it wuz lyk teh houz feasty thing yah so dombedor wuz all lyk "congrdlashins 2 slitherin but i have some last minuete pointz 2 awerd lyke yah 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 ponts go 2 Mary-Sue for beeing purfect so lyk yah griffindor wins weee" Mary-Sue stod up nd sed "omg but thatz not fare i wannt evry1 2 win" "ok then evry1 wins nd Mary-Sue is just purfect yah yah yah" nd then skool wuz ovr so thei went on teh train nd had funn. THEE AND!! lolz lolz lolz!!!!!1111oneoneonetwothreefouromgalexihatesfour!!!11

Real A/N: I sure hope that was as painful for you to read as it was for me to type! dies XX

Fake A/N: omg i so hopd u lyked it!! omg i lyk lurv u all bcuz u red mai storie!! omg omg omg now u hav 2 revew bcuz thatz lyk wut kewl ppl do now yah yah yah omg revew or i wont write teh sekwel wher Mary-Sue goz in her 2nd yr nd solvz teh misterie about DA CHAMBR OF SEECRITZ!!! omg omg omgomgomgomgomg LOLZ!

Real A/N #2: XX Shoot me now. shoots self