A/N: Heh… heh… please, no one hurt me! I'm tiny!
But yes, I know I've been very… neglectful of my fics lately. There's just no time right now! And believe me when I say I HAVE NO TIME. It's very, very true. I had the first part of this week off due to the state shutting our school down because of the swine flu outbreak. I should have done something then, but…
…it was so nice not having to do anything!! xD
It was amazing. But now, I'm updating. Just a oneshot, and a lame one at that, but still. :D
I'm gonna try to do this quickly, too. I wanna start a not-so-totally-lame oneshot after this. So… yeah.
Disclaimer: If I owned Avatar, I'd be living it up in a mansion right now. Not going to school or eating cafeteria food for lunch every day.
Sokka: Aw, sick, I had that once!! My left foot will never be the same again…!
Me: o.O You're foot?! Why you're – never mind, I'm sure I don't want to know.
Sokka: Well, it's a pretty great story. You should really hear it sometime. I've even made it a best-selling book! -holds up book titled How My Left Foot Will Never be the Same Again Because of Cafeteria Food; by Jarry Kotter-
Me: Jarry Kotter?!
Sokka: Yeah! It rhymes with Harry Potter! I couldn't use my own name for obvious reasons. I mean, who'd want to read a book about my feet when they COULD read about my boomerang! -holds up book titled The Boomerang: Why It Makes Me Awesome; by Sokka of the Water Tribe-
Me: …But… wha…? …Er, uh, you spelled Jarry wrong! It's with an 'e'!
Sokka: Uh, WOW, you're stupid. I'm pretty sure it's NOT spelled J-A-R-R-E, Tangy.
Me: …This is what it must feel like to go mad.
Jackpot
"I'm telling you, it's not gonna happen!"
It was surely an odd sight to see. An array of characters, from different ethnicities but all with the same television series to relate them, sitting around a small table in one of the used-to-be General Iroh's teashop. He had many shops around the world, but the cartoons found it more suitable to meet in the one located in Ba Sing Se.
There was a boy with his hair pulled into a ponytail, his clothes different shades of blue. He was the one known as Sokka.
A girl who could not see sat to his left. She was clad in greens, her hair twisted into a rather large bun on the top of her head. Her name was Toph.
To Toph's left was a rotund man with a gray beard happily sipping steaming jasmine tea. This was Iroh.
To his left sat a pale boy with a red and pink scar covering the half of his face. Despite his old negative ways, he had a hint of a smirk on his face. The name he was known by was Zuko.
On the left of Zuko sat, unfortunately for him, his sister. Her dark hair was pulled elegantly up, but her face had a much larger smirk than that of her brother's, and you could see sparks threatening to fly through her fingers. She was called Azula.
To the left of her was a minor character not many knew all that well. Like Iroh, he had a beard of white, although much longer. Also in difference from the tea-maker, he was shirtless and thin enough to see his bone. The few who knew him called him Guru Pathik.
To end the circle, sitting between Sokka and Pathik was a person no one knew. She was from a different universe than the others, one more advanced technologically and very much different from those of the Avatar world. She smiled almost impishly when she heard Sokka's remark to her previous comment. She had told the others to call her Tangy.
"Why's it so impossible, huh?" Tangy asked, pulling her hair up. "Like your theory was any better!"
"It-It's just not plausible!" Sokka nearly shouted. The whole table started to chuckle in response to his anxiousness.
Azula began to speak. "Look, I hear things. I know things." She narrowed her eyes. "And I know that neither of your pathetic little excuses for suggestions come even remotely close to what will happen."
"You don't know anything!" her brother exclaimed, shooting a glare. "Otherwise, we wouldn't be betting, would we?"
Yes, it was true; all of this discussion was due to a bet. One could call it humorous. Or pathetic.
"Zuzu, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were afraid to lose a few coins. But I guess I don't blame you, since you're as poor as the dirt."
"You–!"
"I do not believe that anyone's theory is truly correct," Iroh interrupted wisely. "I think that we should all let destiny take its course."
Pathik took the moment to say his input. "Whatever, I haven't eaten anything other than onions and banana juice in over a hundred years. I need money. My theory is correct."
"In your dreams, stick!" Toph laughed, smiling maliciously. "I think we all know that I'm the one who's gonna be taking all the money home."
"I'm a guru! I know everything!"
"Let's not forget that in my world," Tangy said, "I know what goes on here day and night. You have no fricking chance of beating me!"
"I still say that I know what's going on here best of all," said Zuko. "I mean, I hear about it all the time."
Sokka pulled out a little sack from his belt. "Let's settle this," he said, with what was supposed to be a threatening look in his eyes. Toph just laughed.
Sokka reached in the bag and pulled out some coins. "Three silver pieces and five copper says that Aang'll say 'yes' when we ask him and then run away in embarrassment like a little girl." He tossed the money on the table with a triumphant grin.
Azula threw her coins on top of Sokka's. "Ten gold pieces says that he runs away screaming before he goes to the backyard and begs for mercy from me."
"My niece," said Iroh, "I really do think that you have some issues."
"No kidding," Zuko muttered before dropping his coins in the steadily growing pile. "Two gold and five silver on him babbling like an idiot while turning bright red."
Pathik took his turn next and placed his change in the stack of coins. "My one gold piece and one silver piece says that you are all wrong and that the Avatar will wisely ignore our question."
Tangy dug through her pockets, searching for something she could pass off as bet-able. She found two US dollars, chapstick, a stick of gum (but I never chew gum, she thought), and a bit of pocket lint. The girl put all of it, except for one of the dollars on the table, and said, "My dollar, stick of gum, chapstick, and pocket lint thinks that Aang will turn beat red and ask us what we're talking about even though he already knows."
Sokka looked at the items she had just thrown in. "Seriously? This is what I'm gonna win?"
Tangy shook her vigorously. "Nuh-uh, cuz I'm gonna win! But when I do, I'll give you the pocket lint out of the kindness of my heart despite how badly I yearn for it."
"You're crazy!!"
"Like your face!!"
"That," said Iroh, as the others laughed, "young warrior, was a burn. I have some ice in the back if you need it."
"Ooh, double burn!"
Sokka stuck out his lip, making him look both idiotic and pitiful.
Toph slammed her bet on the table, frightening Sokka out of his 'feel-sorry-for-me' act. "22 gold pieces and a rock. Aang's heart rate will go up, his eyes'll widen, and he'll ask us how we know."
"All plausible answers, my friends," Iroh said, taking a long sip of his drink. "But, I'm still in the firm belief that we have no right to play with things such as–"
"Shut it, Uncle," Azula said, rubbing her hands together. "Princess is gonna win some money tonight!"
The guru spoke up. "Yes, do with the shutting!"
"Don't talk to him like that!" Zuko yelled, banging his fist on the table.
Tangy sighed. "Can we not argue till Aang gets here? When I win my money, I want to be in a good mood."
Toph scoffed. "I don't even need this money. I'm just betting so I can prove you all wrong."
"Well, I want the money!" Sokka shouted. "I'm gonna buy myself a bag of seal jerky, and after that, I'll get me some new threads." He looked down at his clothes. "The ladies just aren't soaking this up as much as they used to."
"They soaked it up?"
"Shut it, Zuzu."
"I don't need the money either," Azula said smartly. "I saw an opportunity to possibly burn down this restaurant, so I took up the chance."
"I need food!" Guru Pathik said dramatically.
"I think I'll buy some cool Avatar duds," Tangy said after thinking. "And a paper umbrella."
"Why?" Zuko asked as if she was stupid.
"Just so I can brag that I have Avatar clothes."
"What about the umbrella?"
Tangy shrugged. "Parasols are cool."
Zuko began to talk about what he would buy. "I think I'd get–"
"Some honor?" Azula finished for him.
Zuko growled. Yes, he growled. Setting fire to his palm, he said, "I ought to–"
Toph interrupted him this time. "Aang's at the door!"
Sure enough, in the same second, Aang walked through the door. He smiled at the awaiting people, though somewhat in surprise due to the number.
"Hey everyone," he said. "Hey, Tangy, I didn't know you were in town."
"Yep!" Tangy replied. "Only for today, though."
"You know each other?!" Sokka and Zuko both asked in shock.
"Yeah," Aang said in a tone that implied that they were dumb. "She was at last year's Christmas party, remember?"
"No," they replied simultaneously again.
"We had a Christmas party?" Sokka asked.
"I guess you were too drunk off cactus juice to remember," Tangy shrugged.
"Back to what's at hand, people!" Toph said, waving her arms.
"Tell us, Aang…" the Guru said almost hungrily.
"Er…" Aang started, more than a little startled by the usually kind guru's tone of voice. "Yes?"
"Aang," Sokka said. "Have you, or have you not, ever written fanfiction about you and Katara making out?"
The room was quiet, waiting for Aang's reaction. Five seconds passed… then five more…
The suspension was finally broken when Aang began to laugh hysterically.
"What?!" the entire table shouted at once. None of them had anticipated such a reaction.
But Aang, though, didn't seem to hear. He shook his head, still laughing, and he wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes as he walked away from the sitting room and into the back hallway. "Fanfiction…" he muttered as he did so. "It sounds like a sick elephant-goose!" His laughter echoed down the hall.
The group was silent.
Tangy spoke first. "That is not what I expected."
Azula was seething along with the guru.
Toph and Zuko banged their fists on the table in anger.
Sokka shouted, "How come we didn't guess laughing??"
"So this is what you were betting on the entire time?" Iroh asked. "I got lost in the conversation at some point. But it was because of this fanfiction?"
Everyone nodded, some more aggressively than others.
Iroh started to laugh. And then he laughed some more. The members of the party looked at him in confusion, but ignored him.
"What was that author's username?" Toph asked. "Did you even look?"
Sokka blushed. "I… well–"
Before anyone knew it, Zuko and Azula had brought out the teashop's computer and were searching for the stories they had assumed Aang had written.
"I just don't get it!" Tangy shrieked.
"Who would've written anything like that but the Avatar?" Pathik said.
Iroh continued to laugh hysterically.
Zuko and Azula shouted, "Here! We're on his profile!"
They scrolled down his story list, including things with titles such as, Avatar: The Last Kissbender; The Life and Makeouts of Aang and Katara; and Kataang: A Story of Smooches, True Love, and Above All, Smooches.
"Whoever it is has some weird, messed up sense of humor," Azula said.
"Yeah," Zuko answered. "Worse than yours, even."
Azula glared into the screen but otherwise ignored him as she finally reached the top of the page.
"Aha!" she yelled. "His username is… TeaLoverOfDaWest."
Zuko's eyes bugged. He began to stutter. He was unable to stop until Toph hit him on the back of the head.
"But that's Uncle's usual username!!"
Everyone there became a shade paler or a shade greener. They turned around and Iroh was gone.
"…So who gets the money?"
A/N: ahahahahahaha!! Sigh, sorry. I needed to write something hopelessly pointless. There you have it! :D It's pretty lame, but… -shrug- oh well.
REVIEW! OR ELSE MY SIS'S BANANA-SHAPED INVITES WILL GIVE YOU PAPERCUTS!!
Sokka: Noooooooooo!! -cowers in fear-
Tangy
