Let's Kill Hitler

Mels drove us right through the cornfield that Mum and Dad were driving through, earlier that day I overheard them saying that they had to contact the Doctor and we knew that meant it was time to have fun. Mels was going through the rules… again. Sometimes I just believe that she ignores the fact that I am actually a 321 year old Time Lady in the mind of a 20 year old gallifreyan-human hybrid. My chosen name as a time lady was Romanadvoretrelundar, this was later shortened to Romana much to my displeasure at the time. The name my parents gave me on the birth of this body was Stella Pond, this is what go go by now.

"Now remember, Mum and Dad don't know who we are and we haven't seem them for a while so what do we do?"

"Call them Amy and Rory. You know, only because I'm 5 minutes younger than you doesn't mean I have a lower level of intelligence, in fact it could be argued that my IQ is much higher than yours."

"Stella, I love you and you're my younger sister, but you know that sometimes when you get caught up in an event you forget things like this." Yes, this regeneration does have an annoying habit of being quite forgetful.

The corvette slid across the space and I looked out my window to see a man that definitely wasn't Dad. "I think you knocked him over."

Mels looked out, "Well our job's done then."

I stepped out to see him lying at my feet. He had floppy brown hair and a bow tie. There's only one man in the universe who would have that dress sense. "You said he was funny, you never said he looked weird." Mel exclaimed.

I stared at the man I was raised to kill, the man who's taught me so much about the universe.

Mum and Dad got up. "Stells? Mels?"

"What are you doing here?" I shrugged at her.

"Following you, what do you think?" I said as if it was obvious. I will admit that being reborn as half human meant that I had a few more human like personality traits.

The Doctor stood up using that car. "Um, where did you get the car?" Dad questioned and I could see he was dreading Mels' answer.

"It's mine..." Mels started but police sirens started to wail in the distance and I finished her sentence. ".ish. "

Mum groaned."Oh, Mels, not again? And dragging Stella into this again?"

"You can't keep doing this. You'll end up in prison."

"Sorry, hello, Doctor not following this. Doctor very lost. I don't look weird!" I giggled, he definitely was funny.

Mels pointed at the phone box. "Is that the phone box! The bigger-on-the-inside phone box? Time travel - that's just brilliant. Yeah, We've heard a lot about you. We're their best mates."

"Then why don't I know you? I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant, the men were a bit shy."

Mels shrugged walking towards the car. "We don't do weddings."

The police sirens sounded closer. "And that's me out of time." Mel pulled her gun out on the Doctor. He put his hands up looking very nervous, not looking at all like the man I once knew.

"Mels! What are you doing?"

"We need out of here now!" The Doctor looked at The TARDIS and squeaked out. "Anywhere in particular?"

Mels thought about it. "Well, let's see! You've got a time machine, She's got a gun. What the hell - let's kill Hitler!"

The Doctor opened the door of The TARDIS and stepped in we all followed after it. Mels was in wonder of it and The Doctor clearly expected us to say 'It's bigger on the inside.'

I smirked, deciding to annoy him a bit. "It's smaller on the outside."

The Doctor stood gaping like a fish almost upset we hadn't said it. The TARDIS was beautiful, different from the last time I was here, but no less wonderous. I ran my hand along the console, "Aren't you a beautiful thing?"

The TARDIS hummed and it's lights brightened in recognition of an old friend. I thought back to my human life, to when we were younger. When Dad was hopelessly in love with Mum and she didn't notice. It was hilarious watching our parents get together.

A gunshot interrupted my thoughts. It seemed that Mels had shot the TARDIS and we were now crashing. I held on to the railing trying to keep my grip.

"You shot my TARDIS! You shot the console!"

"It's your fault!" Mels defended herself.

"Argh! How's it my fault?!"

"You said guns didn't work in this place. You said we're in a state of temporal grace." I rolled my eyes.

"That was a clever lie you idiot! Temporal grace doesn't actually exist! He was saying that so we would put our guns away!" I shouted at my older sister who was very gun friendly.

*******

We exited the TARDIS coughing, smoke billowed out behind us.

"Out, out, out! Everybody out. Don't breathe the smoke, just get out!"

"Where are we?" Mum asked.

I tuned out the rest of the conversation as I pulled my dark wavy hair back over my shoulders and studied the condition of the man laying down. I studied his eyes and listened to his pulse both were fine, so I backed away when Mum and Dad came over.

Mels and I observed the conversation between the three and Hitler. I let out a few silent giggles when they realized what they had done.

The man stood up and Hitler started shooting at him. He missed I looked over to my sister to see red blossoming on her stomach. I grimaced in sympathy for her. If she regenerates, The Doctor and our parents would find out what she is, it would be easier if I regenerated too, then I wouldn't have to explain too much, also this body is very annoying. It is tricky to regenerate on purpose, but I have done it successfully before so hopefully this should work. I started the preparations for this while watching the events around me and attempting to conjure up what kind of body I wanted.

Dad punched Hitler and I saw a side to him I never had before. He picked up his gun and aimed it at him. I smiled as I realized after his travels with the Doctor my father had become a braver man and someone I could proudly call my father.

"Sit still, shut up."

Hitler protested. "He was going to kill me."

"Shut up, Hitler!" The Doctor took charge of our situation.

"Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard over there now. Do it!"

"Right, putting Hitler in the cupboard. Cupboard, Hitler. Hitler, cupboard. Come on." Hitler was dragged to his feet and led to the cupboard.

"But I am the Fuhrer!" He was shoved into the cupboard and the door was slammed in his face. My human father just shut one of the most famous dictators on Earth in a cupboard, I always knew that my dad could be brave. The Doctor studied the man we saved.

"Are you OK?" He fell backwards into a faint.

"I think he just fainted."

"Yes, that was a faint. A perfect faint." Mum noticed Mel had her hands on her stomach to stem the bleeding.

"Hitler..." Mels groaned. "Lousy shot.

She fell to the floor and all three ran over to us. I stood standing a few feet away. "Mels! " Dad placed his hands on her injuries his medical instincts kicking in. Mels had already started mumbling nonsense and I rolled my eyes at her.

"I always was the stronger one." I mumbled causing Mum and Dad to laugh nervously. The Doctor held her jaw trying to keep her awake.

"Hey, look at me. Just hold on."

"I used to dream about you. All those stories Amy told me."

"What stories? Tell me what stories. Vampires in Venice, that's a belter." I smirked.

"When I was little, I want Stella to marry you. I was so convinced." She panted the bleeding was getting worse and I knew we only had seconds till she regenerated. A strong burning sensation was building up in me a and gold energy was starting to surround my hands. I stared at my parents, deciding on what I wanted my next incarnation to be like. A perfect amalgamation of my parents, I don't know what that would end up like, but I can let my parents actually have some kind of daughter through this.

"Good idea. You live and I'll marry your sister, deal? Deal?"

"Shouldn't you ask my parents permission? And propose to my sister?" She joked.

"Soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone and then I'll ask her."

"Might as well do it now, since they're both right here." I groaned from my position. The Doctor, Mum and Dad exchanged shocked glances and looked over at me. The Doctor gasped as he saw the regeneration energy. "But you weren't injured."

I chuckled painfully, "Yeah, but I've been getting bored of this body."

"If you don't do this right you could do some serious damage Stells! You could kill yourself!"

The regeneration engergy was ready to explode. "I've done this before, well around 150 years ago, I'll be fine. You were there!" The Doctor's face went blank as he tried to process the information I gave him, he should get it soon.

"Penny in the air." Mels mumbled as she stood up her hands glowing with regeneration energy.

"Penny drops!" I finished. The Doctor grabbed Mum and Dad, pulling to the back to the room.

"Last time we did this, I ended up as a toddler in the middle of New York." I looked at the three hiding behind the desk.

"Mels and Stells is short for Melody and Stella."

"Yeah, I named my daughters after you two." Mum shrugged.

The Doctor took Mum by the shoulders getting her to look at him worried. "You named your daughters... after your daughters."

"Took us years to find you two. I'm so glad we did. And, you see, it all worked out in the end, didn't it? You got to raise us after all. The bad child and the good child." Mels explained to our parents as the energy started to take over our whole bodies.

"Or like Miss Naughty and Mr Perfect." I said reminding them of my nicknames for them once they got together.

"You're Melody and Stella?" Dad seemed be connecting the dots and started to speak when Mels said.

"Oh, shut up, Dad! I'm focussing on a dress size." I would laugh but the burning sensation of everyone of my cells dying and being regenerated took over my body.

As soon as it was done both of us seemed slightly hyper. I looked at my body. "Okay, okay." I jumped at the sound of my new voice, I was still English.

"Liking the new voice, boobs not too big not too small, hips great, loving the waist." I ran to the mirror, as i saw myself, my breath caught in my mouth, my own cat like emerald eyes enchanting me. I absently twirled her scarlet hair in my slim fingers as i admired my work. I was proud of this regeneration, physically I looked like a mix of my parents, my Mum's hair, mouth, and legs. I will admit I had a fuller figure that her but I was probably a few inches shorter. I also had my Dad's green eyes, his cheekbones, and unfortunately his nose.

I batted my long dark eyelashes and smiled, my face lighting up and for a second i was blinded by my own sheer beauty. I had never been that vain but it seemed this version of my was very much so. I stepped forward, my sleek long legs moving gracefully, confidently towards my goal. I studied my figure. I definitely neded new clothes my top hugged my breasts tightly which signaled that they had gotten bigger as well as my shorts which were very short, I grabbed my jacket trying to cover more of my self up.

'Hello...' I said to my reflection. I ran to the restroom to weigh myself along with Melody and listened to the others' conversation.

"That's Melody? And Stella?"

"That's River Song and Luna River." Dad countered what Mum had just said. We went to the doorway.

"Who's River Song and Luna River?" Mels questioned.

They turn to look at her.

"Spoilers."The Doctor said weakly.

"Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check!"

"Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head." They all leaned back onto the desk.

"Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard."

"That's not helping. " The Doctor stood and walked across the room. Mum and Dad joined him.

"This isn't the River Song and Luna River we know yet. This is them right at the start. Doesn't even know their names."

"Ah, that's magnificent!" Mel leaned out the door. "I'm going to wear LOTS of jumpers!"

She cleared her throat and started walking out the bathroom. I knew what she was going to do already and followed. "Well, now, enough of all that!"

"Oh, hello. I thought I was getting married to your sister." She walked towards him still aiming her gun. "I told you, I'm not a wedding person

"Doctor, what's she doing?" Amy frowned.

"What she was raised to do," he stated.

"Where'd she get the gun?" Rory shook his head.

"It's Hitler's," He remarked, "I dropped it on the arm chair right by the mirror she was looking in before."

"You noticed!" River mused, trying to fire at the Doctor but nothing happened.

"We both did," the Doctor nodded, "Your sister ran for that chair and emptied the bullets from it."

"I know she did," River tossed the gun away, briefly sending me the most venomous glare I had ever received.

"I know you know."

River quickly reached into her vest and pulled out what she thought was her own gun…only to see a banana in her hand, "Goodness, is killing you going to take all day?"

"Why?" the Doctor frowned, eyeing her, "Why do you want to kill me?" I could tell he wanted to know that, he thought that if he knew her reasons, he could better determine if we were brainwashed or the way we'd been raised or lies we'd been told just…something to get through to her.

"Like you said, spoilers," she turned to Hitler's desk and grabbed the letter opener, throwing it right past the Doctor's head and between our parents. The Doctor turned around to see where the knife landed, this allowed Mel to blow a dart into his neck. The Doctor pulled the dart out of his neck studied it and threw it towards me, seemingly determining it as harmless.

"I don't understand," Rory shook his head, "What's going on?"

"Simple," Mel eyed the Doctor, stepping closer, "My sister and I trained and conditioned for one purpose. We were born to kill the Doctor."

"Demons Run, remember?" the Doctor finally realized, "This is what they were building, my bespoke psychopaths."

I picked up the dart, there was a thick purple liquid dripping from it, the liquid was sickly sweet and familiar. I couldn't determine what it was though.

"But she's not," Amy frowned, "They aren't psychopaths, they're our daughters!"

"River!" The Doctor gasped as he fell to his knees, grabbing his chest in pain.

"What's wrong?!" Amy ran to help him, and at that moment I realised what the liquid was.

"What have you done?" the Doctor looked at her, trying not to feel quite so betrayed that his own daughter had done this to him, "River!"

"River, River, River," River rolled her eyes, "I know you're old Doctor, but surely the memory can't be going THAT quickly."

Melody stepped onto the window sill. "Oh, look at that! Berlin on the eve of war. A whole world about to tear itself apart. Now that's my kind of town. Mum, Dad, sister don't follow me. And, yes, that is a warning." She jumped out the window.

The Doctor collapsed and I ran over to help my parents support him. "What's wrong with you? What's she done to you?"

"Poisoned him with the juice of the Judas tree. Doctor, there isn't any cure." I held his head in my hands, tears pecking my eyes as I thought of the time we spent together on the TARDIS, and how it came to an end with poison administered by my sister.

"Luna? Shouldn't you be with River?" He questioned me. I smiled a watery smile. "To quote my sister, 'your memory can't be going that quickly'"

The time lord still looked confused, "Remember the last time you were there when I regenerated? I tried different bodies until you let me keep you Princess Astra's. I'm assuming with the style of this regeneration, you didn't experiment at all? I always was better at regenerating."

He just stared at me with wide unblinking eyes, tears glossing over them. "Romana?"

I smiled cheekily, "Call me Fred."

His face was as bright as the sun, until it was interrupted by a gasp of pain. I even though I knew he wasn't fine I ended up asking, "Are you alright Doctor?"

"Yep. Well, no, I'm dying, but I've got a plan." I rolled my eyes.

"What plan?"

"I'm not dying. See, fine!" The Doctor groaned and my parents helped him stand.

"OK, what do we do? How do we help you?"

"Take this! The TARDIS can home in on it." He handed Mum the sonic. "Now, go, get after her!"

I stayed behind as the Doctor started to walk, "You too Romana-Stella. Whoever you are!"

I looked back towards the direction my parents left in hesitantly, "Are you sure?"

"Go!" The Doctor entered the Tardis, I followed Dad down to where Mels was.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was off to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought, "Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the Fuhrer." Who's with me?" I snickered from behind Dad who didn't know I was there.

"Shoot her."

"No!" Dad whisper-shouted. I sighed. "It'll be fine, in the first 15 hours of the regeneration cycle we can still heal ourselves, ect."

"Tip for you all...never shoot a girl while she's regenerating."

Melody used regeneration energy on the soldiers, throwing them backwards and knocking them unconscious. She laughed. "See?"

Mum came up from behind us. "Why did the Doctor call you Romana?"

"Because that's who I am, I'm the time lady, Romanadvoratrelundar. I travelled with the Doctor a long time ago. I died in the time war but was reborn as your daughter, during conception the TARDIS allowed a neural copy of my soul to enter me."

Rory looked back at me, "So you aren't our daughter?"

"I am still your daughter, I just have the mind of a 321 year old alien." I looked straight at my parents, "I know it's complicated and I hope you can accept it."4

"Ah! Now, that hit the spot." Mel took some machine guns and hopped onto a motorcycle.

"Thanks, boys!"

"What are you doing?"

"New body, new town. I'm going shopping!" She rode off and a soldier rode up behind us. Dad tried to explain.

"Look, I know how this looks, but let me explain everything from the beginning." The Soldier started to reach for his holster. "Heil!"

"Heil!" Dad punched the soldier and climbed onto the motorcycle.

"Come on!" Mum climbed behind him, while I took the other bike.

"Can you ride a motorbike?"

"I expect so. It's that sort of day."

"Well then Dad, you're in for a ride." I drove off.

We pulled up outside some sort of restaurant.

"OK, all of Berlin, how do we find her?"

"I don't know. Look for clues."

"Clues? What kind of clues?!"

"Well of all the things that could happen with Mel is around, what do you think we would see?"

The doors opened and many scared people in their undergarments ran out. I jumped off of my bike and ran in to see Mel trying clothes on.

"Now, look at that! Now that's fun... from EVERY angle!"

"Really, the soldier look? Mel I thought you'd like something else better." I walked behind my sister looking into the mirror as Mum ran out.

"Now, dear, I told you not to follow me." Mum walked forward, her face cold.

"I might take the age down a little, just gradually, to freak people out."

"You killed the Doctor."

"Oh, yes, I know, dear. I hope you're not going to keep on about it. Oh, regeneration, it's a whole new coloring to work with."

"Honestly Mel, have a conscience he was Mum's best friend."

Mum walked around to face us directly. "You killed the Doctor on the orders of the movement known as the Silence and Academy of the Question. You accept and know this to be true?"

"Quite honestly, I don't really remember. It was all a bit of jumble."

Mum opened her mouth and a beam hit us.

"No! No! Get off me!"

"Sorry, did you say she killed the Doctor?" I looked up to see the Doctor dressed fancy, with a top hat and cane.

"The Doctor? Doctor who?"

"You're dying and you stopped to change?"

The Doctor spun around."Oh, you should always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you - Rule 408. Amelia Pond, judgment death machine. Why am I not surprised? Sonic cane!"

"Are you serious?"

"With 423 life signs inside. A robot... worked by tiny people. Love it! But how do you all get in there, though? Bigger on the inside? No, basic miniaturization sustained by a compression field. Oh, watch what you eat, it'll get you every time. Amy, if you and Rory are OK, signal me."

The Doctor opened the cane to see Mum had sent a signal. I sighed in relief. But the Doctor cried out in pain doing some strange movement to sit on the stair.

"Oops, sorry, leg went to sleep. Just had a quick left leg power nap, I forgot I had one scheduled. Actually, better sit down, I think I heard the right one yawning."

I giggled and he grinned up at me. Mel ran for the door and the robot opened its mouth to shoot another beam at us.

"Don't you touch her! Do not harm them in any way." The Doctor shouted.

"Why would you care? They are the women who kill you." The robot asked him.
"I'm not dead."

"You're dying." I murmured.

"Well, at least I'm not a time-travelling shape-shifting robot operated by miniaturized cross people, which, I have got to admit, I didn't see coming." The Doctor pointed at us. "What do you want with them?"

"They are Stella and Melody Pond. According to records, the women who kill the Doctor."

"And I'm the Doctor, what's it to you?"

"Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetimes. Time travel has... responsibilities."

"What? You got yourselves time travel, so you decided to punish dead people?"

"We don't kill them. We extract them near the end of their established timelines."

"And then what?"

"Give them hell." The robot grinned.

"I'd ask you who you think you are, But I think the answer is pretty obvious. So, who do you think I am? "The women who killed the Doctor". It sounds like you've got my biography in there. I'd love a peek."

"Our records office is sealed to the public. Foreknowledge is dangerous."

"Yes, well, I'll be dead in three minutes. There isn't much foreknowledge left."

"Sorry, can't do that."

"Records available."

"Thanks Mum." I said knowing she would have been the angry Scottish woman she is and demanded that the records be opened.

"Question. I'm dying... who wants me dead?"

"The Silence."

"What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean?"

"The Silence is not a species. It is a religious order, or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked."

"What question?"

"The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight."

"Yes, but what is the question?"

"Unknown."

"Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge! Call yourself a Records... Argh!"The Doctor fell forward and I tried to run towards him. "Kidneys are always the first to quit. I've had better, you know."

Suddenly, the beam around me turned red, I screamed in agony as the pain tore through me.

"Amy! Rory! Amy, can you hear me?"

"What do we do? This is me. This is me actually talking."

"Just stop them. They are your daughters, just stop them."

"How?" Amy seemed panicked.

"Just do it!"

We were freed and the Doctor approached us. "Please, now we have to save your parents. Don't run. Now, I know you're scared, but never run when you're scared. Rule 7. Please."

I watched my psychopathic older sister look at our mother.

"Doctor, help us!" My mother shouted out. The Doctor was on the ground eyes closed.

"Doctor, please!" He tried to stand and leaned onto me as I helped. Mel watched from a chair.

"Doctor! Help!"

"Look at you. You still care."

"Doctor! Help! Doctor, help us! Please help us."

"It's impressive, I'll give you that." I glared at my sister and her blatant ignoring of our parents.

"River, please..."

"Again? Who is this River? She's got to be a woman, am I right?"

"Help me. Save Amy and Rory. Help me."

"Tell me about her. Go on."

"Aaargh... just... help me." I glared at my sister and walked into the Tardis. Mel followed behind me and I walked to the console knowing what to do.

Mum and Dad walked in after I landed looked shocked after they saw Mel and I.

I walked up to them. "I'm be able to fly her. Unlike the Doctor, I actually read the manual to this TARDIS capsule." I said softly.

"Where is he?"

I watched from behind Mum and Dad as they held the Doctor's hands. "You can't die now. I know you don't die now."

"Oh, Pond! You've got a schedule for everything."

"But it doesn't make any sense."

"Doctor, what do we do? Come on. How do we help you?"

"No, sorry, Rory. You can't. Nobody can. Ponds, listen to me, I need to talk to your daughters." Our parents stood up and we slowly walked to the dying man.

"Find them. Find Luna River and tell her something from me."

"Tell them what?" I asked. He tugged onto my jacket and whispered into my ear. "I love you, looney."

I smiled softly. "Well, I'm sure she knows." The Doctor was unconscious, we stood up and walked to our parents.

"Who's River Song and Luna River?" Mum walked to the Teselecta.

"Are you still working because I'm still a relative? Access files on River Song and Luna River."

"Records available."

"Show me them.. Show me River Song and Luna River." The Teselecta changed into Mel and then into me.

I turned to the Doctor my eyes teary and looked to my older sister. Her hands started to glow.

"Stella, what did he say? The Doctor gave you a message for Luna River. What was it?"

Mel transferred her regeneration energy to me.

"What's happening? What are you doing?" Mel looked at Mum.

"Just tell me. The Doctor, is he worth it?"

"Yes. Yes, he is."

I put a hand on each side of the Doctor's face, he inhaled sharply and opened his eyes.

"Luna? No! What are you doing?" He whispered to me.

"Hello darling." I whispered back before kissing him.

-

I opened my eyes to see a blurry Mum and Dad.

"Hey." Mum said to me after my vision had cleared.

"Hey. Where am I?"

"You're safe now. Apparently, Melody gave you her regenerations which you gave to the Doctor. You shouldn't have done that."

"Mother, I had to try." Mel said to her.

"I know."

"He said no-one could save him but he must have known I could."

"Rule one." We looked at the man standing by the window. "The Doctor lies."

"She just needs to rest. She'll be absolutely fine."

"No, she won't." The Doctor set a Tardis journal next to me and placed a sonic screwdriver on top of it. The screwdriver was identical to his except for the fact that it had a purple tip and the metal was rose gold instead of the brass of his. While I inspected the screwdriver, he placed a vortex manipulator on my arm and placed co-ordinates in before sonic-ing it.

"She will be amazing." I smiled at him. He kissed my forehead. "I can wait for that explanation, it won't be long for me, but you're going to have to take the long path."

The vortex manipulator started to flare, and I looked around with panic. Dad sat down and held my hand. "Stella, relax. You will be fine."

With that I disappeared in a flash of blue and landed with a pounding headache in an empty house in the middle of London.