AUTHORS NOTE:
I'm Ba-a-a-ck! Hello everyone, I am deeply sorry for my no updating. I have been busy. I am now out of school (until next year) so hopefully I can update more often. NO promises though. But I will defiantly update this heaps often cos I have already written the whole thing (I just gotta edit it). Basic plot this time: Gorillaz open a hotel. Sounds complicated, hey. I just gotta explain this: Has anyone seen the old, old series Faulty Towers? Hilarious, I love it (I'll put an ad in the papers: "Wanted, kind home for enormous savage rodent. Answers to the name of Sybil."). Okay, well I kind of thought of this. And I thought, Isn't Murdoc and 2D like Basil and Manuel, sort of? If you haven't seen Faulty Towers (most people, probably) just ignore the small references to 2D being not capable of speaking English that I added in to make myself smile. But you really should watch Faulty Towers some time. Have fun!
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"Sweet Satan, why did we ever open a f---ing hotel?" Murdoc Niccals yelled, throwing down a set of steak knives. "Noodle, where did you put the kitten I bought?"
A small, Japanese teenager came into the lobby, playing on a game boy. "Murdoc-san, I realize you are allowed your own beliefs, however I must refuse to allow you to slaughter animals in order to appease the devil."
Murdoc groaned. "I spent $150 on these steak knives, and you rob me of a chance to use them?" He kneeled on the ground. "Dear Satan, please make the clouds rain on Noodle-"
Murdoc's hasty prayer was disrupted slightly by the now familiar elevator tune: "It's coming up, it's coming up…", and the appearance of Russel Hobbs, who was wearing a frilly lace apron and a disgruntled expression.
"Murdoc, man, I don't wanna be disturbing the peace," he said, walking toward Murdoc menacingly, "But I was wondering..."
Russel brought his face close to Murdoc's. "WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS THING?" He roared. "I tell you, Murdoc, I am not a size 8. And, even if I was, I defiantly would not wear women's clothing!"
Murdoc stepped back, looked at Russel, and grimaced. "Yeah, take that thing off. It doesn't go with your complexion at all. What was I thinking?"
Russel frowned. "Man, I really don't wanna know."
A woman walked into the hotel, causing Russel to blush and hastily remove his apron.
Murdoc lit up a cigarette. "F---, another guest," he muttered. "2D, where the f--- are you?"
2D trailed into the room. "I still don't get why you want me to pretend I can't speak English. I can speak English good! See, I know the alphabet and everything. A B C D-"
Murdoc waved a hand in 2D's general direction. "You can shut up now." He turned to look at the guest. "Well, hello there, beautiful. I almost didn't notice you. But now I won't be able to get you out of my head."
The woman eyed Murdoc distastefully, taking in his elaborate cape, inverted cross and the half dozen empty liquor bottles behind the counter.
"I wish to book a room."
Murdoc grinned, walking to check the register book. "Want a night to remember? You could bunk in with me."
The woman shook back her hair back. "I was looking for a room with positive flow from the North, good feng shui and a calming atmosphere. Oh, and, do you serve vegetarian meals?"
Murdoc turned to Noodle. "What the f--- is she on about?"
"What did you just say to me?" The woman demanded, having overheard his remark.
Murdoc turned back and smiled. "I said, like a f---, darling?"
The woman flicked her hair again. "I don't believe this! That's it. I'm off."
Murdoc watched her leave. "Was it something I said?"
Noodle sighed. "Maybe, hotel would have more guests if you refrained from attempting to sleep with all of the women coming here."
Murdoc patted her on the head. "Of course it would, love, of course. Now, where'd Dullard go? I feel like punching something."
Noodle watched him wandering off, realizing how much she hated being patronized.
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Revolutionary band, Gorillaz, were opening a hotel.
The media was buzzing with the news of a publicity stunt of the millennium. Each week, the gossip magazines and tabloids were full of more and more pictures of disgruntled guests leaving the hotel, apparently unsatisfied by what Kong Towers had to offer. Hotel critics, fans and other celebrities were lining up to see what the fuss was all about, however one look at the blood-stained interior of a zombie infested hotel was enough to send most of them fleeing for their multi-million-dollar mansions. Reporters were strictly forbidden, sent packing by a body guard in the form of blank eyed and even blanker brained 2D. In fact, Kong didn't really get that many visitors … Surprised?
No, I wasn't either.
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AUTHORS NOTE:
A bit odd … I have a lot more to post. Please tell me what you think! Everyone loves feedback!
