Prologue

Death is easy. Death is the way out when there is nothing left.

No heartbeat left for your body. No brain left to think. No nerves left to feel.

Life happens, and then you die. It doesn't have to be a sad thing, in fact, the idea of death is peaceful, it's soothing.

When you want to die however, you welcome death too early then you're supposed to. You don't test life to see if it gets better, because at that point, you don't have the energy and you don't care. If life was so great, why wasn't it so great early on? Why does someone have to go through crap to get to the good stuff? When someone takes their life, they miss out on all the beauty in the world that they had been hoping would emerge sooner. They miss out on all the jealousy, the epiphanies, the lessons, the regrets, and the love that comes with the box of unhappiness. They don't get a chance to look past the surface.

If someone wants to live, they will do something so that they can.

Or you end your life. But what we don't realize is the sadness and tragedy that we leave behind in our wake. This is that tragedy.


Zig

It's my fault.

Maya says the person to blame is well, Cam, but I know whose fault it really is. He never was so bad. He was a great hockey player, he was nice enough, but nothing about him ever sat well with me. He was moody like, all the time, playing Maya hot and cold, and she didn't deserve that. She deserved someone a lot better then that, someone who could be there for her when she was feeling unhappy, not someone who would drag their unhappiness onto her.

I could be that person. I'm easy going, I'm happy most of the time, I'm…alive. I guess that's the only difference between Campbell and me now. I used to think we were polar opposites, but it doesn't matter really anymore how much I have in common with him. He's dead.

That's so weird to think. Grade 9 and someone has killed themselves. Jeez. What made him do it in the first place?

Oh yeah. Me. I did. I told him to get out of her life, so he did. In the most permanent way he knew how. I honestly didn't mean it like that! I didn't think he would…that-that wasn't going through my head when I told him he needed to go. I didn't mean like that.

Why didn't I like him again? Cause he got Maya when I wanted her? Because he was sort of weird? Heh. That crap is so insignificant now. So he was a little moody, did that really mean I wanted him out of her life forever? Did I...did I want him dead?

...

No. I didn't. I didn't want him to die. If anything, I wanted him to live to see me eventually win Maya over. I wanted to rub it in his face! I wanted to be there when he realized that he hadn't won, that he might have the school drooling over him because he was an Ice Hound, but he didn't have the girl. Sounds pretty shallow. I guess when life ends so abruptly for someone, the people left behind start thinking about how they screwed up, and what would have happened if the person who died well...lived.

Once Maya realizes that all this is my fault, she'll hate me. Tori hates me already, Tristan hates me because Tori hates me, and now Maya is gonna join the most popular club in school: the "We Hate Zig club."

Life sucks, a lot of the time, but…is that really why he did it? He didn't think there was any way he could be happy with his life ever again? He really thought it was that hopeless? He had it all! Why did he throw it away? If I had his hockey talent, I would have been living it up everyday. I wouldn't take my eyes off the chance to be drafted into the NHL.

But the thing is, he didn't just leave the chance of being an NHL hockey player. He left friends, family, he left his whole life.

So what happens now? What do the people he left behind do?


A/N: This storyline was incredibly tragic. So I wrote a few little chapters about characters on the amazing Degrassi that I thought would have interesting, heartbreaking, and pretty usual responses to a suicide. There are of course so many ways people respond, so these are just a few. If you like it then great! If not...this is awkward.

Feel free to leave me a comment or a note! A few more POV coming soon! Thanks!