Title: Sacrificium
Author: LiquidThalassa
Disclaimer: The characters of "Passions" do not belong to me.
Author's Note: This is my first Passions fanfic- I never thought of writing one before but I got inspired and this is what came of it. It's a "Therox"- they're my favorite couple on the show…I can't stand Luis and Sheridan and Ethan and Gwen…and defiantly not Whitney and Chad (shudder)- no offence to anyone who does though. Anyways, I hope this is enjoyed, reviews and comments are always greatly welcome :0).
Another Note: I started writing this a while ago (like 6 months or something) - that is why the story line isn't current. I thought I lost the document but I found it in an unmarked disk- whoo-hoo- so just look at it as an alternate universe thing. I think it's easy to figure out what's going on…
Sacrificium
[Latin: Sacrifice]
Noun
1: the act of losing or surrendering something as a penalty for a mistake or fault or failure to perform etc.
2: Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.
!! Part One !!
Teresa sat in the darkness of her room nestled tightly in a corner, wrapped in the shadows of the night. Cold wet tears cascaded from her earthy brown eyes. Eyes that were once warm and bright with life were now faded and dull, like a wilted rose they've lost their beauty. She held herself in the silence, knees wrapped tightly against her chest, rocking back and forth in an unconscious rhythm. Sorrow flooded her being, a wave of sadness she could not escape. She bit her lip harshly fighting the sob easing up her throat and tasted blood- coppery, warm blood coating her tongue. She didn't care. Not anymore. She welcomed the pain. Pain meant she was alive, and that was the only way she knew she was. She closed her eyes once more, only to be assaulted by thoughts in her mind, there was no escaping them; they haunted her.
…I used to think Fate was on my side…but now…now I know I was just a fool…What did Fate get me but heartache and pain…and loneliness. I'm all alone, I have no one…not anymore…I've lost Ethan, a man I thought would be there for me and my son…and Little Ethan, my baby, my child…It kills me, don't they no the bond of mother and child? Don't they know what they're doing? I'm dying without him…my son…he should be with me not with that Bitch Gwen…he should be with me…I'm his mother…and Mama, God Mama… how could Fate take her way from me- away from us- when we needed her so much…I never got a chance to tell her- to tell her I loved her…to tell her how grateful I was…Fate, a cruel bitch she is, how could I be so stupid, so naïve.. Maybe I deserved it…maybe I am a monster, maybe I am what they tell me…maybe I will die alone…
She brought a shaking hand to her cheek and wiped her tears, though nothing could erase their stigma upon her soul. Looking around she caught sight of a picture in a tarnished gold frame. The faint moonlight touched the glass and she let out a shuttering breath. Fox.It had been a month since that night, the night after Mama died and everything went dark…the night she told him to leave, to get as far away from her as he could…
I'm so sorry, Fox…I'm so sorry…I'm poison that's what I am. Poison. Everything I touch, everything I love get destroyed…I loved you so much…I couldn't stand hurting you- but I did didn't I? I did hurt you…God, when will this stop? When will this end… I love you like I never loved anyone else…but do you love me? After all of this, after what I've put you through? After I've hurt you…? Am I unlovable…?
Rising from the floor, reaching out for the desk close by she steadied herself against the feeling of fainting. After a moment and a few deep breaths she felt her legs steady. Not bothering to turn on the light- she knew the darkness well enough by now- she walked over to the telephone. Unthinking she dialed a number she knew by heart…she stood there in the dark room, staring out the window to the cool autumn night, not paying attention to the rings on the line.
"Fox Crane." A warm familiar voice said shattering her trance.
Oh God, what am I doing? What am I going to say, Teresa though panicked.
"Hello?"
She said the first thing that came to mind, "I'm so sorry…"
There was a pause and she thought her heart would burst.
"Resa? Is that you?" He asked hopeful.
She began to sob again, unable to control herself.
"Resa, are you okay?"
She didn't answer.
"Teresa." He said more sternly. "I'm coming over."
"No- you-you can't." She whispered.
"Teresa, I'm coming over."
She didn't reply. She let the phone fall from her hands and clatter to the floor. Quickly she grabbed her keys and left, not knowing what she was doing or when she was going to go.
I'm poison…I can't let him get hurt anymore…I can't get him involved…I'm poison.
The cool autumn breeze blew on her teardrop trails leaving a cold feeling in their wake. She hugged herself against the chill, cursing herself for not bringing a coat. But then again, she thought bitter-sweetly, I won't be here long enough to need it…
TBC
(...Unless it's not liked, that is. Let me all know- good or bad. Constructive criticism is welcome. I usually only write Third Watch and Alias fics, so I'm a little out of my territory…)
