Zig Novak sits at his desk during study hall. It had been a week since the events that had rocked Degrassi to it's core. He bit the end of his pen and looked at the clock. The second hand seemed to be moving at an agonizingly slow pace, just like it had the day before and the day before that and so on for the past week. Cam was dead. The words echo in Zig's head. Sure he hadn't been friends with the guy, but that didn't mean he didn't feel something about his death. With that thought, Zig pulls out a clean sheet of notebook paper and begins to write.
Cam-
I regret everything I did wrong. I should have just let you have Maya and be happy. Instead I thought I deserved her so I tried to take her from you. If I had known that you were spiraling down a deep dark chasm I would have waited around for her to come to me.
Ever since word had spread of your death I replayed our last conversation over and over. You were so smug and seemingly happy that Maya had forgiven you. I became green with jealousy. I wanted Maya all to myself and so I said the words that I thought were true. How was I to know that you would take my words to heart? How was I to know that my words would kill? I am guilty of everything from your pain down to your suicide. All you ever wanted was to find something at Degrassi worth living for.
Maya was your something, wasn't she?
Geez Cam I am at a loss as to what to do. I can't go on feeling like this, but wishing that my past actions could be changed can't bring you back. You are gone forever. What can I do Cam? What can I do?
I promise that from now on I will look after Maya. She is denying that your death has hurt her. She is just angry at you. She is still trying to process your death. Don't worry, me looking after her doesn't include dating her. I couldn't do that to her, let alone you. I caused you so much pain in life, why would I continue to do so after your death. I am not the awful guy that everyone seems to think I am. I do have a heart, one which is now beyond repair.
I will never again tell someone that their girlfriend is better off without them. I know now that words slay happiness and life worse than a knife.
I really wish we could have been friends. I think maybe we could have if certain things had never transpired.
-Zig
