I felt depressed one day. So this came out of it. My lesson in life has been learned: do not write anything when you are depressed, because you will surely read it over again a few days later and outright laugh at yourself.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. Yes, Teen Titans the show. Yes, I watch it, and I am bloody proud, although I should be moving on to maturer shows that appeal to my age. But, eh, oh well! (gosh that's pretty off-topic for a disclaimer, isn't it?)
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----------------Welcome To Hell----------
I can hear her.
"Oh, Robin!" Starfire clasped her hands together, eyes bright as she turned her head towards the grey sky. "Is not the falling of snow the most magical thing you've ever seen?"
Robin nodded, grinning at her excitement. "It's only snow, Star. You saw it last year."
"But its beautiful!" she breathed, holding out her arms like wings on either side of her and spinning in circles, her woollen hat flying off her head, her red hair blazing through the air.
Robin held out a hand, as if to stop her. "Uh, Star, you're about to…"
With a yelp, she fell over. Falling flat on the snow, she laughed, looking up at Robin with a shy gaze. "That was clumsy," she admitted.
Smiling, Robin agreed, "Yeah."
She's so close; I can almost feel her presence.
Sighing, she looked up towards the sky, her eyes glazing over with a more serious gaze. "You know…I've never really looked at the sky from this perspective…"
Robin raised his eyebrows in amusement; shrugging, he turned towards the Titans Tower, eager to go inside where it was warm. "Well, um, enjoy that I guess…"
"No, friend Robin, you must join me!" Starfire cried, reaching forward and clutching his hand with her glove. Yanking on him with all her weight, she dragged him down; he fell into the snow with a yelp.
"Starfire!" he yelled irritably, feeling the snow creep into his Titans uniform and black boots. "What was that for?"
She gave him an innocent smile. "I want you to join me whilst I look at the world from a different angle!"
"I…hate the snow…" Robin grumbled, crossing his arms and glaring down at the dreaded white stuff.
"Robin!" Starfire gasped. "How could you hate the snow? It is such a beautiful creation!"
"I've seen it too many times."
She leaned forward on her fists, frowning worriedly into his face. "What is the matter, Robin? Something seems to be troubling you."
Robin blinked, looking up into her concerned eyes. "Wrong? Nothing's wrong at all."
I can imagine her face, like I only saw it yesterday.
"Well…if you are sure…" She settled back on her heels, her face still creased into a worried frown.
Robin nodded; looked away. "It's nothing important…"
"But everything's important!" Starfire declared. "Please tell me what it is, Robin." She grabbed his cold hands in her gloved fists, staring directly into his eyes, coaxing the information out of him.
With a sigh, he admitted, "I didn't want to tell you. I tried to get Raven to say, but she said I had to tell you myself…live up to it."
"I do not understand, Robin."
His eyes travelled to hers; suddenly all his courage was gone. Was it even there in the first place? "I can't see you for very much longer."
Starfire's eyebrows rose. "What? You cannot see me? I am not going anywhere!"
"No, but…I am."
It's so lonely here, without her. She's always been a part of me; it feels like, although she's still alive, she died with me.
A few days later, the horrible question popped up: "Hey, Rob, are you sure…you don't want to go into hospital or something?" Cyborg asked him, uncomfortably shifting from one foot to the other.
Robin shook his head, letting out a weak laugh. "What's the point? They won't be able to cure whatever Slade put into my blood anyway."
"No, but they could ease your pain," Raven said monotonously behind Cyborg, her eyes emotionless as they set upon the fallen Boy Wonder.
"I'll be fine," said Robin with a roll of his eyes, adjusting his blanket as he lay back on the couch. "I've dealt with pain."
Cyborg and Raven nodded; they said their goodnights, then walked from the living room of the Titans tower, nothing more to be said. Even Beast Boy didn't seem to have any words, since they heard that Robin had barely a week to live.
"I could just kill Slade for what he's done to him," Raven hissed in a surprisingly emotional voice as the door behind them swished shut.
Robin sighed, settling back on the pillows. Staring up at the ceiling, he whispered to himself, "I'll make an effort to die tonight…"
He really couldn't stand the pity, the tears, the dragging out of his death. The sooner he went, the less pain he would inflict on the Titans, himself, and…Starfire.
Sighing, he turned over on his side, making an effort to tune out his thoughts. He was barely in sleep's arms when he felt a new presence by his side. "Robin?" whispered Starfire through the dark.
Smiling, Robin turned over, seeing her outline in the darkness. "Hey," he whispered back.
"I am…sorry for avoiding you the last couple of days…"
"It's all right, Star. I didn't expect you to take the news lightly."
She clutched his arm with an iron grip; he winced in pain. "Robin, I do not want you to think that I do not care about you. When you leave us, I do not want you to think back on me as being…one that abandoned you…" Her voice broke; she fell silent.
"No, not at all," Robin assured her. "You've never abandoned me, Star."
I can feel her words, taste them. Binding me, setting me afire. I wanted to tell her so much that night, all that I felt; but I had a feeling she already knew my love for her.
"I do not want you to die alone," she murmured, resting her head on his chest, looking up at him with glistened eyes. "I know I cannot stop you from going, but at least I can…stay with you until you do."
Robin nodded; felt his throat catch. "I'd like that," he told her. Slowly, his fingers trailed through the strands of her fiery red hair, stroking it back and forth. He closed his eyes; he could feel himself falling. Into sleep or death: he couldn't be sure. Either way, he had to say one last thing before he drifted off. "Star?" he asked.
"Yes, Robin?"
"Don't get too depressed…okay?"
She frowned in confusion. "But why not?" she asked him. "Can I not grieve?"
"You can, but…don't be too unhappy. That's one of the things I love about you. How you're so…" He yawned, unable to help it. "…happy…" Suddenly exhausted, his head drooped to one side, his eyes closing behind his mask.
Before he passed, he could feel her crawl onto the couch next to him, huddling her body close to his, staying there even as he fell into death's grasp.
Heaven isn't what it's cut out to be. It's not full of angels signing halleluiah and bright lights shining your day. It's sitting at the edge of the nearest cloud to earth, your spirit dangling uselessly as close as it can to the borderline between death and life, watching the only girl you ever loved down in a city you used to live in, as the tears continuously roll down your cheeks and onto the earth down, down below.
It's my own personal hell, this life after death. Without her. Alone…
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The 'u' button on my keyboard popped off in the middle of this. I am pissed.
Oh yeah, please, feel free to review. I love opinions on my story; anything you have to say I'd love to hear. Doesn't have to be long…even a couple words…perhaps maybe even just a 'Yay!' or two…(right, now I'm getting a bit pathetic.)
Hope ya enjoyed! –grin-
-KuroHinote
