Just another night working in the Paper Lantern - oneshot Warrenfic
Disclaimer: Still own nothing and my cat is getting suspicious of my activites, but the underground network is doing an excellent job of posting my GT Spuddie fics. Viva La Revolution!
"Are you done with that?"
"Hey"
"Hi…"
"We go to school together."
"…"
"I'm Kaelynn, I'm in your Comparable Powers class. And your Heroes Through History Class. And Home Economics…"
"…"
"And I've been sending you love notes and pretty much stalking you since Freshman Year."
"That was you!?!"
"Yep. I hope I didn't creep you out too much. Anyway, I needed to talk to you so I thought I might corner you here."
"Um, you do know that I have a girlfriend now? Jenny and I have been together since Homecoming."
"Oh I know. Jenny used to be one of us. We were so proud when you two hooked up."
"Us? Who is Us?"
"The MSAA(I)"
"Huh?"
The Mary Sue Association of America (Incorporated). We are the random fan girls and occasional original character who populate your life and the lives of your friends. I was assigned as your specific Stalker Girl."
"If you are my Stalker Girl should you be telling me this? Aren't stalkers supposed to hide in the background?"
"Well, we are normally. The problem is that your Base Status has changed and your case is in a kind of … grey area."
"Explain."
"Well my particular specialty is Brooding Bad Boy with a Strong Possibility of Turning Evil. I'm supposed to end up being either the psychopathic girlfriend who helps commit evil deeds, or the innocent follower caught in the crossfire. It's what I've been trained for."
"Trained for?"
"Yep. I got top marks in both Evil Laugher and Helpless Tears – not easy to do!"
"Okaaay."
"The thing is … your Brooding Bad Boy status has been on probation since the whole 'Paper Lantern/Layla' incident. Then, after the Homecoming thing your Base Status has changed. You aren't a Brooding Bad Boy with a Strong Possibility of Turning Evil anymore. You are now classified as a Misunderstood Loner with Every Likelihood of Becoming a Hero."
"Hnuh?"
"And, as you've probably figured out, I am no longer eligible to be your MSAA(I) Official Stalker. You will be assigned a new Stalker as befitting your new Base Status. Just a word of warning though, the Misunderstood Loner stalkers … well, they aim to end up as the Soulmate of the Misunderstood Loner, and some of them take it pretty seriously. I'm not worried about Jenny – she knows how to handle them, but I thought I would give you a heads-up."
"Thanks, I guess."
"No problem."
"Anything else I need to know?"
"Not from me! I have to be going now, places to go, people to stalk! I've been re-assigned in our overseas exchange program. Some guy called Draco Malfoy. Should be interesting!"
"Good luck with that."
"Thanks! Oh, and can I get my Chow Mien to go?"
Fin.
