Barney Fife Goes to Eureka

The Andy Griffith Show
Staring Andy Griffith
And Written by Leonardo Oliver Osborn

Chapter 1
The Letter

So today was like any other- Barney was sitting down on his chair in his office, as usual. There were some lively neighbors, and often quite a lot of quest coming every now and then. He may had faced quite the events, but this one is nothing compared to any other...

Barney's First Person

Tick... tock... tick... tock... you hear that? That was the sound of the cloak... and not the one in my stomach... or my ma-ma's... it was just my ol' cloak, just tickin' the hours away... you know, as a police officer, I shouldn't want anything bad to happen to anyone... yet... I can't help but want something bad happen, you know. Maybe something... chaotic... or maybe something... just crazy -you know- just something at all. Tick-Tock... Tick-Tock... Tick-Tock... just nothin', you know. There is just absolutely nothin' goin' on! And I don't like it... it's boring... and I don't like it... there's gonna be somethin'... jus' somethin'...

Third Person

So, after awhile, something finally did happen! A small boy, with a simple tan cap with a number '611' on it, riding a simple bicycle had delivered what seemed to be simple mail. Odd, how it was in this hour, in the after noon, even know the mail usually comes in the morning, when you go out into the yard with your morning cup of coffee. In fact, this wasn't the same boy Barney knew -Moppy- whom usually delivers the mail. Maybe he was just taking a day off, maybe sick or something. Yeah... probably that... but then why would he bring in the mail in the afternoon and not in the morning? In fact, why is there a boy delivering mail? Don't they usually bring in the news papers? Delivering the mail is a adult's job. Something was up...

The boy walked inside, and said "Telegram" as he walked in. He handed a mail letter with a big red stamp, with a big red rectangle to go around labeled TOP SECRETon it.

Barney's First Person

Wow... a top secret paper now... I wonder what's in there... should I tell Andy about this...? Well... it is 'top secret'... and top does mean top secret... so this must be top secret fer' a reason... okay... I'm gonna open it now... this tan... mysterious... top secret folder...

Third Person
One hour later...

So, without further ado, he finally opened the folder... after one hour of staring at it... the letter will be read by quote, but it's best if I save it for later, spoilers~. In a nutshell, it said that the top secret town called "Eureka" had summoned him to become the Sherif of their town, after a tragic... 'classified accident'. And in the end, it asked if he accepts the invitation or not, and a forward address, for his response. He pondered on this.

Barney's First Person

Well... there are pros and cons as they always say... so, where's the pros and cons? Well, let's start here; I love everyone here, and everyone loves me- The town is nice and friendly, yet there's hardly any crime. Okay, good pros, but there's still a con that still bugs me sometimes... things can be boring here... well, if I move to a new 'classified' town, then there's gotta be something interesting there... because it's classified... and secret... yet... it might be scary there... and the people there are probably won't be as nice... and I don't think I'm good at keepin' secrets honestly... I... I can't just leave my folks and not tell them where I'm goin'... but if this 'Eureka' needs me then... I should go... but when am I gonna tell the-

Third Person

His thoughts where interrupted when his partner came into the door.

Andy's First Person

Well, as always, everyday, when nothing much is happening, I go check on Barney after little pratroll.
"Hey Barney, how are you doing?"

I asked. He turned swiftly with a panicked look on his face. I could see a folder that he was covering with his hand, as he slowly tucked it into his drawer.
"Oh... hey Andy... ah... n-n-nothing... j-j-just n-nothing! Just... nothing"

I slowly nodded. Obviously, something was up. I asked him

"I know this might not be any of my business, but what is that folder you got there?"

He stared at me, judging by his nervous body-language, and the panic look that was still right on his face, he was obviously trying to invent something.

"Um... nothing... it was... an empty folder...-"

He slowly shook his head as he finished his sentence.

"Absolutely... nothing..."

I slowly nodded, acting like I was convened, and decided to try something on him...
"Well, alright then! I've got some papers I need to organized and I am fresh out of files. Mind if I barrow that sense there's 'nothing' in there?"

It was tempting to flex my fingers when I said 'nothing', but it's best to keep the act up. It's part of how you get the truth from them, when you have a good opportunity to keep them from being aware that your on to them... works every time... especially when it comes to Barney...

Barney's First Person

Oh no... this isn't good... he's on to me... is he...? Yeah... he's after me... they're all after me... they know I'm up to somethin'... they are all on to me... all of them... I can't trust anyone now... I can't even trust Andy... I... I gotta do something! I... I... I-

"Ah... Barney...?"

Ah oh...
"Are you there...?"
Oh no... he's on to me now! No doubt about it! They are all after me, I tell ya! They are all after me! I cannot trust ANYONE! I... I need a-
"Barney, are you frozen, what's wrong with you?"
I... I got an idea!
"Um... yeah... i'm fine... um..."
"The 'empty' folder?"
"Yeah... that..."

I reached into my shelf, and manage to grab a spare folder and pretended it was the exact one I got earlier.

"Here you go! Absolutely empty!"
I held it out.
"There is absolutely nothing 'top secret' around here... just a folder..."

Andy gave me a stare for a long moment... then finally gave me a "hmmm..." then finally nodded and grabbed my 'empty' folder. He backed up to the door, still keepin' an eye on me, and said "See you later Barney... and don't get into any trouble..."
Before I could say anything, he closed the door, and left. Yep... he's diffentlly, without a doubt...after me... I need to keep an eye on him...

Third Person

Any Griffith walked out of the office, knowing full and well that he's up to something. He walked a little, then put his hands on his hips and looked up at the building and said to himself
"Yep, he's diffidently -without a doubt- up to something... I need to keep an eye on him..."