From: Cathartidae2
Sent: 16.32 1/4/--
To: Accipitridae
Opened: 17.29 1/4/--
RE: Your very interesting e-mail
My soon to be dearly departed friend,
I suppose you think you're clever. You don't want to know what I think you are, but I know you can guess.
I will agree that you are right - about one thing. Things aren't always what they seem.
I know Jun isn't a lesbian. How? Well, for now I'll leave that up to your prodigious experience and imagination. I did suggest she try it though. It would have been so much fun, what with her bike and all. But she turned the idea down. Brutally. I can still feel the indent of her yo-yo and my nuts climb into my stomach whenever she's around. She has yet to coax them out - not through the lack pleading on my behalf, I would have you note. I would like to say congrats, by the way. It's about time you saw what was in front of you.
And I'm not worried about you two teaming up. It's about time I had a challenge worthy of my talents. With Jun's brain bringing you up to a grand total of one between you, not to mention her definite streak of cunning, you might have a slim chance of catching me out. Game on, friend, game on!
So, while this is payback for the rats, it doesn't cover the debt? Glad to hear it. I would be insulted if you thought this was enough for the planning involved in those stunts. Do you have any idea of what's involved in getting rodents past the quarantine block on Crescent Coral? And you think Jinpei whinging about keeping just one was bad - I had to deal with him wanting the whole lot! I thought about it, just so I could see Jun's face, but Rosaria was definite about getting all eight back. Yes, Ken, eight. Only eight, not the twenty you told Hakase. He had me search the GodPhoenix for 6 hours because you can't count when you're too busy trying not to wet yourself. The great Gatchaman! If only Galactor knew that rodents were your weakness...
As for Ryu reacting the only way I knew he would - well, you should know that Ryu will react any way you want him to - if the bribe is high enough. We'll get back to that later... but I will say that Ryu likes rats that come on command even more than Jinpei likes ones that he thinks are wild. His pleas for just one continue to this day. He did try blackmail, but I have my own methods of dealing with that as you know.
And I thought I apologised for the broken ribs. Maybe you didn't hear me over your chattering teeth and incessant mumbling about 'their eyes, their eyes!' Not sure what you meant by that, but yours were rolling back into your head at the time so I ignored it in favour of holding smelling salts under your nose.
Seriously, Ken. You willingly fling yourself off the hull of a plane moving at 900 kph and at a height of 1000m to land on a mecha full of goons bent on killing you, and yet you get faint when a rat runs over your foot...
Even though I should speak to Isabella about her, um, demands, I think I will clarify some things for you first. I know how you do like to be in the loop...
I did recognise Isabella. I thought that you didn't and since she was so intent on making your acquaintance I played along. She usually has a reason for what she does and I didn't want to spoil it for her. Of course, I was rather curious to see what she was up to...
I admit I didn't know she had been promoted. I shall have to congratulate her the next time I have the chance. She's not one for throwing things like that around and she certainly knows how to keep her mouth shut at the best of times - and at the worst.
I would like to make a correction though. Isabella doesn't have a wicked sense of humour. It definitely resides in the realm of the perverse and nefarious with frequent vacations in just plain evil.
And before you jump up and down about me not knowing who is in charge of our maintenance crew, I would like to point out that I didn't know since a certain someone didn't tell me. Isabella still works on G-2 so I assumed she was passed over for someone with more experience and I didn't want to ask in case she was bitter about it. Oh, did that sound like I care? Oops.
Okay, so she finds body parts in my machine... and the cover would fix that... I agree. It's not me that says no to it. Speak to the design team, they are the ones that are refusing it on the grounds it hasn't been fully tested to their satisfaction. They also said no to the red pin striping for the same reason. Yes, Ken, the design team the people you protected from me last week! They are a bunch of self-serving, arrogant, moronic individuals that won't agree to anything they didn't come up with themselves. I happened to be there trying to discuss the idea of the cover, but did you let me explain?
I still owe you for that head butt, you know. The headache lasted for days and I couldn't directly look at a light for a while either. We need to get Medical to agree to issue us with at least some simple paracetamol - any kind of medication having unknown effects on our highly trained bodies be damned! Let's try it and see what the effects are, shall we?
As for the cleaning out of the engine before leaving it with the mechanics... I used to, but I got in trouble with the aviation geeks for leaving body parts in the nose cone - not to mention the issue of when said nose cone opens before winching the G-2 out. It's rather a graphic idea so I will just say 'splat' and God help anyone walking under when it happens...
Seriously, I can't please everyone, Ken. Besides, if I remember correctly, and you know I do, it was you that told me to leave it for maintenance to deal with... Hmmm... I wonder if Isabella knows about that...
As for my 'usual foul mood' when I return from missions, you know what would help out with that? A simple 'atta boy' from you on occasion. Not much, just simple recognition for when I save your bacon - again. In case you haven't realised, there are five of us on the team. You think it puts me in a good mood when you yell at Jinpei for clowning around? Or at Ryu when he asks for instructions? If he doesn't, you go off; if he does, you ask if he's got a brain in his head... Seriously, Mr. White Shadow That Slips Up Unseen, get the stick out your arse. All missions are difficult, but when they're over, they're OVER - be thankful we made it out alive and quit complaining about Katse escaping. That's what debriefings are for.
And it's not my fault if the bird missiles don t work - but you try explaining that to the design team. Go on, I dare you.
Now if you'll excuse me for a moment I will discuss the last three issues with Isabella. Back soon - not that you'll notice, but just to give the illusion here's some education for you....
Yep. A double-ended pile-driver is possible - if you bring in a man who is strong enough and with a good sense of leverage. Hope this picture settles that one. Oh, and this is the way to bribe Ryu, by the way... And blackmail him... Shame you can't see the girl too well. She's a wild one alright.
Okay, after some rather pleasant discussion, Rosaria and I are on the same page. That's Bella to you. Her real name is Rosaria after her maternal grandmother, hence Aaron calls her 'Wild Rose' and his preference for her to sing songs about the flower. Her rendition of 'The Rose' is just amazing, by the way. You can tell Jun that she has agreed to sing it for her, but it's got to be without an audience or with a bottle of vodka on IV. Anyway, Isabella is her middle name after her paternal grandmother. After her mother died, her incredibly insensitive and overbearing father decided to start using Isabella. He never did like his mother-in-law. Something to do with her insightful hatred of him, I think...
I've apologised for my comment that caused her some grief. It turns out we had a misunderstanding... Sarie thought I was being a sarcastic bastard when I compared her to Celine Dion. She didn't think I would ever seriously give her a compliment like that, although we are now in a discussion about whether it was a compliment... She has apologised for making the mistake of thinking I was being a sarcastic bastard. That time, anyway. I'll think about apologising for the other times I have been a bastard, sarcastic or not, when I'm done setting you straight. Something tells me that would be a bloody long apology and I might not feel up to making the effort.
By the way, you are truly off the mark about it being the comment from me that stops Sarie singing in public. I guess you don't know she's always suffered from terrible stage fright, huh? Why do you think Jun plied her with scotch before and while she was on stage? Aaron sets that up as part of the deal with the management of wherever they have a gig. She would prefer just playing with the band in a garage somewhere but it wouldn't be fair on the others - they like performing even if she doesn't. I will agree with you that her father has a lot to answer for. When we walk into a base and I knock a General on his arse for seemingly no reason, just assume you're meeting her dad. I might even let you 'trip' over him a couple of times if you promise to cover my arse with Hakase.
By now you would have worked out I know her quite well. Longer than you, in fact. Did you know Sarie is a mechanic, not an aviation engineer? Do you remember Diamo, my old pit boss when I first got involved with racing? He's her uncle on her mother's side. He used let her hang around the pit to give her a break from her old man and/or military school. Turns out we had some things in common, cars were just the beginning. When it was time to set up our maintenance crews I asked for Sarie, preferably as group leader. I knew she could handle the pressure, being pit trained, and I don't trust just anyone with the Condor Machine, you know. So far I have no reason to regret backing her for the position, even if she is an annoying, cantankerous pain in the arse sometimes. I did say sometimes, dammit, now quit that! Sorry, didn t mean to write that but now I have, well, can t be bothered backspacing... You certainly spoke the truth about specialising in nut cracking, she s a right - fine, I won't finish that sentence, dammit, woman - that's more than uncomfortable! Right, you are in for it now, girl! BRB...
Okay, I have agreed to abide by the yellow line while Sarie keeps up her end of the bargain. That means no itching powder in my underwear or hydrogen sulphide gas in G-2. That rotten egg smell just lingers for days... She has also agreed I can borrow Snowy and her 7 furry friends again at some stage in the future, as long as I keep up my end of the bargain. To that end, don't be surprised to see snipers at the ready when we next drop in... She seems to be rather intent on not allowing me to have any fun. This I blame on you and your rules influencing her unduly... I am so not going to apologise to Johnson! He shouldn't have been in the rectangle, should he? I mean there's sirens and flashing lights when we disembark, you think he would realise that I'm about to pull up. If the guy can t handle G-2 nearly running him over then he shouldn't be on the team, should he? Send him to work on Jun's bike... I don t care that he's the best brake man in the business! I only looked at him; you can't blame me for him wetting himself because I just LOOKED at him! Now, if I had done what I was thinking at the time, then I would understand it. But you, sorry, Sarie, gets so uptight when I threaten her staff. Seriously some people need to get a life. I meant the staff, Sarie, not you... sheesh. This would be easier if I didn't have someone reading over my shoulder, you know.
I do slap her butt. You've seen it, don't you just want to? Now imagine it sticking out of G-2... You see my dilemma here? I don't think I can possibly abide by that one. If it so happens that she gets a little pissed off, then well... I have to say I like her a little pissed off if you get my meaning... Aaron doesn t call her 'Wild' for just any reason... OUCH!
Okay, Sarie is getting a little concerned about what I've written so far. She thinks that by now you'll be getting the feeling that she's set you up. That isn't true. I actually had no idea about your relationship with her - I don't pry into her business, she doesn't pry into mine. We tried the couple thing a few years ago, it didn't work out for various reasons that I won't go into while I have a little voice in my ear that's getting exceptionally LOUD... I would say something about it just being pity sex but that would bring up the subject of who is the pitied party and I'm not sure I'd like the answer I would have to write. You've noticed those daggers she has on her right hand? She claims she grows them to pluck guitar strings. Since I know she uses a pick, I claim otherwise and am being proven correct as I write this. And I think that in the future you and I will just agree to ignore the signs of them whenever we happen to have our shirts off, okay? By the way, did you really think I would fall for that whole 'I saved a cat from a tree and look what I got rewarded with' spiel that you try?
Seriously, if you ever get the opportunity to snip her fingernails while she s sleeping I will pay your tab at the Snack. All of it - I mean it!
Anyway, I had no idea of what was going on last night. Beyond what I thought was the bloody obvious, that is. It had to be Jun's idea, because there is no way you would come up with that on your own. Tell me, that act of Jun's while on the communicator with you, was it really an act? I know Sarie, and um, well... OKAY! I'll just leave my thought out there, alright?
You did a great job with the innocence act. I just can't seem to pull it off, but without the big blue eyes and long girly eyelashes I really don't have much of a chance of it, do I? You and I are going to have a nice long chat about me taking all the heat for being a ladies' man, though. And if you think that you'll be able to get away with it again, I have the pictorial reminder. You idiot - you sent me blackmail fodder! I wonder what Hakase would say if I dropped that in his lap... Oh, that would be dropping Sarie in it as well - not good.
How about I just threaten to show Jinpei instead? Yeah, he is a little young for that... Fine, I will come up with a way of using it against you, Ken - you should have known better than handing something like that over to me.
CRAP!
You know what, Ken? This is getting too difficult - she's got hold of one of my shuriken and I can't write and deal with an irate Sarie at the same time. So here's the situation. If you can get here by 1800 I will take you up on the offer of the three way. Sarie thinks you ll make it, I don t - so seriously, don't rush, I'm not fond of sharing, not even with my best friend. 1801 and you've missed the boat.
Joe
PS. Sarie thanks you, again, for training her people. She felt they were getting way too lazy and blase on a base that doesn't see any action. They are military after all, and the boredom meant interdepartmental fighting was getting out of control. She was faced with having to replace half her staff if things didn't improve. See? I'm not a bastard all the time, although it did help in getting the team spirit up, didn't it?
Oh, and on a side note - the ISO doesn't provide all my internet access. Unlike some, I make enough to have my own. And I knew about the deadline. Hakase told me last week. Apparently, 'Left Crescent Coral/met up with others on GodPhoenix. Found mecha/base. Argued with Ken about shooting a few bird missiles. Argued some more with Ken because I shot a few bird missiles. Entered base/mecha. Killed a few goons. Blew up mecha/base. Rat Bastard Katse escaped. Argued with/threw punch at Ken/Ken threw punch at me. Came back to Crescent Coral. Had debriefing/snore-fest with Hakase.' is NOT enough for a mission report. Go figure.
Hakase also told me that if I didn't get them all in on time then he would make you sit with me until they were done. He thinks that as leader you should have been on my back about them ages ago... My, aren't we going to have so much fun at our matching desks?
.............
The car swung wildly before stopping with a squeal outside the trailer, just missing the car already parked there.
The white and purple haired girl stood up from her seat on the trailer steps, coffee cup in one hand.
"You've got some explaining to do, Bella." Ken growled as he slammed the car door behind him.
"I've spent all afternoon doing 'some explaining', Ken. I'm not interested in repeating myself."
"Oh, I don't think it will be much of a repeat, do you? Considering you only had to explain yourself to Joe."
"True." Her brown eyes twinkled in amusement. "Bring it on."
"You're wearing his shirt."
"Yep."
"You don't seem to be wearing anything else."
"Nope."
"I see. It's like that, is it?"
"Don't you dare tell me you're jealous, Ken. You know the deal."
"I'm not jealous, just a tad disappointed, that's all."
"Well, disappointed is one thing I'm not," she grinned.
Ken blew out a breath. "Where is he, anyway?"
"In the shower. He was so certain you weren't going to make it."
"I almost didn't." Ken crossed his arms and leaned back on his car. "So let's hear it, Bella. I want the whole story since Joe reckons you haven't set me up."
"Ken. I didn't set you up." Her voice held a warning. "I keep certain aspects of my life separate. You and Joe had nothing to do with each other when it comes to my personal life. I never spoke to him about you and you know I never talked about Joe to you."
"I didn't even know that you knew him beyond the base!"
"Yet Nambu did. Apparently Joe wasn't the only one that asked for me when the teams were being set up, even though I'm a mechanic, not an engineer. I should thank you, by the way. I think it was your endorsement that clinched team leader for me this time."
"You handled being G-2's group leader for so long without taking out a hit on the Condor. I figured that having to deal with the rest of us wouldn't make it any more difficult for you."
"A walk in the park." Isabella smiled. "Ask your questions, Ken."
"Fine." Ken thought for a moment. "Start with the easy. How long have you known Joe?"
"About seven years."
"And you were a couple."
"For a minute and a half."
"You're wearing his shirt."
"Yes, I am. I thought we covered that." Isabella sighed. "Look, it's like this. Joe and I, we just don't match beyond cars, sex and heritage."
"Heritage?"
"I'm Italian? You know? Rosaria Isabella Maria Tremonte? Ringing bells, yet?"
"Oh. Of course. Hadn't really thought about it, I guess."
"Yes, well, I am. And when you're in our situation it's sometimes just nice to speak your first language for a while, you know? Especially if you don't have any family around that would normally take care of that need." Her head turned and her face grew slightly wary. "Hey."
"Was that my knuckle-headed commander I heard screeching to a halt too damn close to my car?" A towel draped Joe appeared behind Isabella. "Ken."
"Joe."
"Pay up," Isabella said, holding her hand out.
"I don't have my wallet on me right now but you know I'm good for it." Joe's arm snaked around her waist. Resting his head on the top of hers he looked at Ken. "I was sure you wouldn t make it."
"But you knew I would be here regardless of what time I got that mail."
"Yes. Under the circumstances I would come too. Sarie certainly had us both fooled."
"You've seemed to have forgiven her."
"There wasn't that much to forgive. It's not like she was cheating on me, she's free to do what and who she wants. If occasionally I happen to be one of those things, then all the better."
"She set you up."
"Of course she did. We've been playing pranks on each other for years; last night was just par for the course."
"She hasn t been very nice about you."
"She rarely is. Our, um, relationship can be rather volatile, not based so much on mutual respect as on mutual one-up-manship. If it didn't make the sex so good, we would have killed each other by now." Joe smirked as he pinched her bottom and dodged the resulting over the shoulder slap. "Ken, ask what you really want to ask so we can deal with it."
"Fine." Ken transferred his glare to Isabella who looked back calmly. "You told me he held out on the cover for the car."
"He did. We wrote that part of the e-mail nearly three weeks ago, Ken. Joe finally saw my point last week when I threw half a head at him and meant it. Now we need to get the design team on board with the idea. They won't listen to me, because, hell - I'm just a mechanic, what do I know? They won't listen to Joe because they're too busy hiding when he goes looking for them. We need you to insist on it, they ll listen to you - it's the only way."
"You could have just asked."
"And where's the fun in that?" Isabella grinned.
"Told you her sense of humour is perverse," Joe said quietly, smirking.
"Fine, I'll speak to them first thing when we get back." Ken sighed. "I should apologise, Joe. I conveniently forgot that I told you to leave the engine cleaning to the maintenance crew."
"It's not Joe you should be apologising to in that case, Ken." Isabella's eyes narrowed. "I quite enjoyed watching what happened when the nose cone opened - especially since my last, not at all mourned, supervisor used to take it on himself to wave you guys in." She rolled her eyes. "As if Ryu needs the extra help."
Ken looked down at his feet, "Yeah, guess I should have spoken to you about that first. After all, you would end up being the one that got stuck with the job. Sorry."
"Nope. Not good enough. It's going to take actions, not words, flyboy." Isabella grinned, one brow twitching.
"Look - I'm here and in time, but I'm not here to, um... We've still got some issues to work out, Bella."
"Like what?" Isabella asked, tilting her head to the side to allow Joe to nuzzle her neck.
"Um, Joe's distinct dislike of sharing?"
"He promised me that if you could get here in time that he will go through with it, Ken. And you should know he always keeps his promises, even if he doesn't want to. Besides, this is for me and I'm quite looking forward to it." She smiled sweetly as she continued, " If he bails, it will upset me, and he knows the consequences for doing that. I've got more than enough blackmail material to keep him in check."
"Oh, so you're safe. How do I know that Joe won't give that picture of us to Hakase if I upset him?"
"Because I'm in it, Ken. Could you imagine what would happen if Nambu saw that?"
"Ah. Good point." Ken watched as Joe ran his hand down Isabella's bare thigh and up again to disappear under the shirt. He shook his head slightly and looked away. "You got Jun and me to train your crew in how to bring down the Condor."
"You were the one that volunteered. You were watching an argument between Joe and me about something or other and you asked Davies if Joe pissed him off when he acted the bastard. Of course Davies said yes! To this day, Davies can't remember exactly who suggested the staff should be trained in how to deal with the Condor, but he does remember you offering your services. It kind of snowballed from there."
"It may have been me, I remember I was pissed off with him." Ken bit his lip as Joe took the coffee cup out of Isabella's hand and placed it on a table out of Ken's sight.
"It doesn t matter. Morale has improved through the roof and I don't have to switch out half my team before hostilities break out." She stretched up and wrapped her arm around Joe's head, encouraging his exploration of her neck.
"I didn t realise things had gotten so bad."
"Why do you think I encouraged it, Ken? It's not like I liked the thought of my team taking down one of yours. Our enemy is Galactor, not each other. But it served a necessary purpose."
"True. You did set up the meetings with the other departments..." Ken coughed as he realised Isabella was moving her hips rhythmically in time with Joe's clasping hand on her stomach. The hand he could see...
"Ken, enough already." Isabella held out her hand. "I'm wearing nothing but a T-shirt. Joe's only wearing a towel. You, on the other hand, are way overdressed for the situation. What's with that shit?"
.............
"Do you think we broke her?" Ken looked at Isabella lying face down on the pillow with her hands tucked under her hips.
"I know I tried damn hard to." Joe rolled over on his right side to look at Ken across Isabella's prone form.
"She can't be comfortable like that."
"You'd be surprised what she considers comfortable, Ken." Joe chuckled. "Military brat, remember?"
"But that position just isn't normal!"
Joe's eyes narrowed in thought. "The sneaky, devious little bitch! There's no way we can clip her nails while she's sleeping like that!"
"You think she chose this position to thwart your intentions? Don't think I didn't see you trying to bite them."
"Did you see what she was doing with them?"
"Did you see what you were doing?" Ken pulled back Isabella's hair to reveal a purple bruise on her right shoulder.
"She started it.
"So mature, Joe!"
"Check this out." Joe twisted in his position to show Ken his right shoulder. "As I said, she started it."
"Wow, that looks nasty. Did she break the skin?"
"Probably." Joe chuckled. "I know she broke the skin where she dragged those nails..."
"You enjoyed it?"
"Um, no? I enjoyed making her angry enough to bite, though. Clawing up my back is just foreplay as far as she's concerned."
"You weren't kidding when you said your relationship was volatile."
"Diamo always said we were too much alike. Both of us certainly hate conceding defeat."
"Relationships aren't war, Joe."
"They are when neither of you are willing to compromise on the little things."
"Little things? Like what?"
"Monogamy for a start."
"You cheated on her?"
"Uh, yeah? But since she was boinking someone else, I thought it was an open relationship."
"She cheated on you?"
"Duh. But since I was schlepping someone else on the side, she thought it was an open relationship."
"Oh, for fuck s sake!" Ken groaned. "Why doesn't it surprise me that you two would agree to be a couple and yet both end up cheating?"
"Not even the old 'innocent Ken' would believe that Sarie and I could make it work." Joe grinned. "We do care about each other and we certainly know how to, um, make our type of relationship work. We just don't get along all that well when it comes to the crunch. We don't see eye to eye when we're not talking about cars or undressed."
"You don't seem to see eye to eye when you're undressed, either."
"Insulting each other is part of the fun. I told you - I like her riled. It's not as if she doesn't give as good as she gets."
"That she does. I ve never seen her like that before. She always seemed so, um, shall we say 'accommodating'? But she was practically fighting you and loving it."
"It's called passion, Ken. What can I say?" Joe shrugged. "She likes variety. No doubt that's why she was so intent on this little situation. Speaking of which, you bastard - time to come clean."
"About what?" Ken batted his lashes.
"That for a start! Since when are you a horndog that quite happily does threesomes? It just doesn't seem to be your style."
"Well, I wouldn't say I'm a horndog. I'm just a typical guy with the usual fantasies that get fulfilled on occasion. In saying that I would like to point out that this little situation was for Bella's sake and not a normal occurrence."
"How about we don't ever talk about this? You can answer 'how often is an occasion?' though."
"As often as possible!" Ken laughed." Bella and I see things the same way and she is more than adventurous, as you know..."
"One of her good qualities."
"One of her very good qualities," Ken agreed, grinning. "Another is her ability to find others willing to play. She'll set something up and then spring the surprise on me. Or I will find a willing participant and she ll happily go along with that. She's a very good friend to have."
"That she is. When she wants to be." Joe chuckled. "So, you've been doing this for a while?"
"Yep. At least a couple of years."
"A couple of years?" Joe frowned in thought. "I never suspected you were so active."
"Come on, Joe. It's not like you tell me every time you hit it."
"But I'm not hitting it with Jun," Joe said slowly.
"Leave her out of this." Ken's eyes flashed with anger.
"You sent me the picture, Ken. How the hell do you expect me to leave her out of this?"
"You told me how many times to give it a shot?"
"That's before I knew you were screwing around. I meant for you to give a real relationship with her a go!"
"How do you know it s not 'real', oh all-knowing god of relationships?"
"Because she's not the only female in the picture? Because you just spent the last few hours sticking your dick into another girl? Because you were the one that suggested this? Because you mentioned getting together with Sarie and Aaron? How many becauses do I need to give you?"
"What I have with Jun is different. This is just sex. Jun knows the score."
"Yeah? And how does she feel about 'the score'?"
Ken took a couple of breaths, releasing them slowly. "She doesn't complain."
"She should! Ken, this isn t fair to her and you know it. Do you have any idea of how she feels about you?"
"Jun has never made any demands on me, Joe. If she did then I would have to think about them seriously. But right now, she knows we can t really be in a real relationship the job comes first. It doesn't mean I don't care about her. You know I do."
"I don't question that, Ken. But I do question how much you respect her when you're doing stuff like this." Joe gestured vaguely at the three of them.
"How do you know she's not doing the same? She participates in threesomes with me."
"Who sets that up, Ken? You or her?"
Ken bit his lip. "Me."
"And do you consider her the way you considered Sarie with this idea?" Joe indicated the two of them. "Or is it always you, Jun and another girl?"
"It's always the three of us. Jun trusts Bella." Ken pointed at Isabella. "I see what you mean, Joe. I'm not being fair to Jun." He looked up with a smirk. "How do you feel about-"
"No fucking way! I only agreed to this because I didn't think there was a hope in hell that you would make it in time. I owe you for that."
"For what? I didn't come up with that stipulation."
"No, Sarie did." Joe chuckled ruefully. "Guess she knows you better than I do."
Ken s forehead puckered in thought. "Joe, how did she get from the Snack to here? When she told me she had called someone to pick her up, I assumed she meant Aaron."
"When you're out trawling do you give girls the number to your bracelet?"
"No, of course not. I give them my... I see, she called you on your cell phone..." Ken s tone was suspicious.
"Yep. Suggested I check my e-mail and then come and pick her up from around the corner after you two had left for training. Told you she's evil."
"You don't know the half of it." Ken locked eyes with Joe. "I got a message from her for me to check my mail as soon as I could so I used a computer at the gym instead of waiting until I got home. If I hadn't, there is no way I would have got here in time."
"We had money riding on.... ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH SON OF A BITCH!"
"You never said I couldn't warn him," Isabella said sweetly as she levered herself up on her knees.
"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! LET GO OF MY NUTS, YOU HEARTLESS, SOUL SUCKING SHE-GOAT!"
"Um, no. But, Joe, you will be quiet and not move while I have my say." She looked him serenely. "Ken's in the same position as you, but you'll notice he's not having a hissy fit."
"I am NOT having a hissy fit, you nightmarish whore! You have my family jewels in a vice lined with needles!"
"And Ken's. And yet still no hissy fit from my left."
"That's because you ve got your daggers in my nutsack!"
"Um, Joe? They might not be as long on her left hand, but I can assure they are sharp! And bloody uncomfortable," Ken said, his voice strained.
"Ken just knows that it's in his best interest to behave. Shame you have yet to learn that lesson."
"You have nothing to say that interests me, you inbred whelp!"
"Oh, but I do. I think you will find what I have to say enthralling. Especially since it will answer some questions you haven't even thought of yet."
"Let her speak, Joe."
"Yes, Joey. Let me speak," Isabella smiled. "Or I will draw blood."
"Fine, talk, you Hellish fiend!"
"Oh, thank you, my sweet sugar lump. Now, where do I start? How about with Jun doesn't do a damn thing she doesn't want to, Joe? She does know the score and she's okay with it to a point. Keep your nose out of other people's business. This does not concern you." She turned her attention to Ken. "However, Jun is more than pissed off with you for several reasons. Joe had it right on one account. You don't respect her enough. She's okay with you sleeping with me, she knows it means nothing and most of the time she's there anyway. But if you even think about going out trawling she will have your gonads in a death grip before you know it and I can assure you, this will be pleasant compared to that. It's her and me, got it? No more bimbos, no more techs, no more departmental assistants - just the two of us. Understand?"
Ken nodded furiously. "You and her. Got it."
"Jun is also getting really tired of your recent demeanour in the GodPhoenix after missions. She knows you're stressed about how long it's taking to defeat Galactor, but Jinpei's a kid, let him be one. If he wants to clown around some, let him. Jun says it's the way he shakes off the missions and it's time you remembered how old he really is. You can't expect him to sit quietly when he's just killed a few goons with his bare hands. Not to mention he's dealing with the relief of knowing that the people he cares so much about have survived yet again." Isabella took a breath. "So what do you need to do on the GodPhoenix after missions, Ken?"
"Give the kid a break...?"
"Exactly." Isabella nodded at him. "And while you're at it, you can also give everyone else a break too. Joe blames you for his foul moods when he returns to base. I don't think that s the complete truth, but I do know that Joe in a foul mood upsets my people because it is the one thing he likes to share. If it is true, then you not giving him a hard time will help me enormously. If it isn t true then he will pay the price for being the lying, scum sucking rat fink bastard I suspect he is."
"Deal! Just because I know it's not completely me and right now I would promise to fly naked to the moon just to get your claws out of my cojones!"
"See, Joey? It's not all that hard to be flexible. Although something certainly is becoming inflexible." Isabella winked at him.
"It's a natural response to pain, you soulless banshee."
"No, it s a natural response to fear, my darling crouton."
"Bite me, bitch."
"Wasn't the first time enough for you, Joe? Besides, I still have some of Jun's list to get through so if you don't mind, my mouth will be kept busy doing that." Isabella grinned. "Yes, I know all about that little comment you made last night - and the others. You really ought to think about who is listening in when you're flapping your big mouth, Joey."
"Jun!" Joe exclaimed, trying to sit up.
With a nasty twist and nastier smile, Isabella made her point. "No, no, NO, my little pumpernickel, you will remain lying down. There is no way I'm letting your hands in arms reach of my throat right now."
Joe clenched his teeth and glared at her. "You've still got to get out of here alive, Sarie. If I were you I wouldn't be making any plans for tomorrow."
"So negative, my darling. There's no need for that, I think once you've heard everything I have to say, we will part on our usual terms." Isabella fluttered her eyelashes. "Besides, you should know by now I always have a plan."
"Joe, this will be much easier if you just laid back and listened. I'm not in as much pain as I was, but that could be my body's self-preservation reaction."
"No, I ve loosened my grip, just a tad, for being co-operative, Ken. However, you do know Joe and he will fight the inevitable." She sighed. "Just grab my phone from the table? Good boy. Press send for me, darling. Now, put it back. Thank you." Isabella kissed the air in Ken's direction. "Anyway, back to it, shall we? Ken, Joe already said something about an occasional pat on the back from you in his mail. Personally, I've found my team work better when I tell them that they have done a great job on something. You don't have to be all touchy feely all the time - when an arse kicking is needed, do it. But when praise should be given, then do that too. You need to be more balanced, that's Jun's assessment."
"More balanced, got it."
"I thought you would. See, Joey? So easy to comply. Your job will be to make sure that Ken follows through on his promises. If he stuffs up and you could have prevented it, then you'll pay the price. I do have footage of you singing and it's already been made into a virus, ready to go. One touch of a computer key from Jun and it will be out there for all to see."
"It'll be worth the beating I'll get from Joe to see that happen." Ken chuckled wickedly.
"Oh, no, it won't, Ken. If Jun believes it is a deliberate act on your behalf then instead of a warbling Condor, Nambu will get video confessions from half a dozen women about their experiences of perching on the Eagle's pole." Her voice became hard. "Joe might be a slut but he doesn't hide that fact from his conquests. Not much of an endorsement, I admit, but his one night stands know they are exactly that." Isabella's tone grew musing. "And with the money you'll save not wining and dining the lovely ladies, you'll be able to pay off some of your tab at the Snack. Wouldn't that be a nice thing you could do for Jun?"
"Yeah, Ken. Look where doing nice things for your friends gets you."
"Now, now, Joey. It was nice - very nice - of Ken to consider me. It's not his fault that he didn't realise what was going on."
"What exactly is going on, Bella? You told me I hadn't been set up."
"No, I told you that I didn't set you up." Isabella hesitated as the sound of an engine was cut off outside the trailer. "But I certainly had my hands in it."
"Jun."
"Yes, Ken. Joe had it right, even if I didn't let him finish that thought a while back. Jun set you both up. She knew that I know both of you, since we are girls and girls talk. Nothing else to do when you're hanging around waiting for a certain Eagle to drop by. Well, there are other things we could have been doing, but..."
"Jun isn t that experimental yet." Ken answered as the door opened outwards.
"Well, hello!" Jun said as she entered the trailer and took a good look at the scene before her. "Izzy, my darling, you are true to your word. Hope they didn t cause you too much trouble."
"Jun, my sweetheart, it was a walk in the park. You certainly know how to pull their strings."
"They are both rather simple to manipulate in their own sweet ways. But there is no way I could have done this on my own." Jun opened the bag she was carrying and took out a several pairs of handcuffs, two already linked together. "Shall I relieve you of your hostages?"
"Please. My left hand is fine thanks to Ken's willing co-operation. But you know Joe - gotta keep a good grip or he slips out on you." Isabella smirked.
"Then let me deal with him first. Joe, you will be nice and just slip your, um, hand in this little cuff, one false move and you'll be singing falsetto for the rest of your life, understand?"
"Like hell I m going to co-opeRATE - OH MY SWEET LORD!"
"Who would have thought a guy trying to curl into the foetal position would actually be easier to cuff? Learn something every day." Jun grinned as she clicked the cuff home. "You might want to keep the pressure on him until we're finished here, Izzy." Oh, good boy, Ken!" She said as she managed to slip one of the linked pair on him before he realised it.
"Planned on that. I don't trust Joe as far as I can knee him. How close were you?"
"Across the road. Close enough to see the trailer rocking." Jun giggled, as she wrestled Joe's arm into the second of the linked pair. "Ryu's looking after Jinpei and the Snack for me tonight so I would be free to do whatever I pleased. Such a sweetheart, that man."
"Couldn't agree with you more, Jun. And he s a gentleman in more than just manners." Isabella smiled, winking as the dark haired girl walked around to Ken's side of the bed.
"Really?"
"And such stamina! That bulk of his is all muscle and he knows how to use it, uh huh, yes he does..."
"You will have to tell me more when we have the time. Ken, just give me your arm for a moment. Thank you, I knew you would co-operate. Especially since Joe has kindly proven what will happen if you didn't," Jun said pleasantly. "Izzy, it's time to get you off your knees, hun."
"Please."
Jun walked to the end of the bed. Bracing herself with one foot against the frame, she slid her arms around Isabella's waist. "Izzy? I'm going to pull you backwards. You will remember to let go, won t you?"
"Soon find out, won t we?" Isabella smirked.
With a count of three, Jun pulled her backwards off the bed as Joe attempted to lunge forward to grab her arm.
Ken yanked him back by the handcuffs. "Fuck, that hurt, you moron! In case you haven't noticed - we re connected!"
"You're the bastard that let Jun do it!"
"What part of this situation screams we have choices here, dick brain?"
"We always have choices, you dumb fuck!"
"Yeah? Well, as your commander I am ordering you to choose to not be a complete fuckhead for once!"
Picking up her bag, Jun ruffled through it until she found what she was looking for. "This is too good of an opportunity to waste and makes damn fine blackmail fodder too," she said, pulling out a camera. "Say 'bite me', boys."
"While you do what you do, do you mind if I have a quick shower? I'm all, um, sticky." Isabella asked as she stretched her legs.
"Go right ahead, I think I might be a while since they don t seem to want to co-operate." Jun watched Ken and Joe trying to dive off opposite sides of the bed, their linked arms preventing either one of them to hide. "Come on, boys, cuddle up. Just one nice shot of you together and we'll leave you in peace."
"Put that damn thing away, Jun!"
"Oh, Ken. You've never said no before..."
"That was when I wasn't handcuffed to a bed with Joe!"
"Jun, if you even think about taking a photo of this I will-"
"You will what, Joe?" Jun pulled a key ring out of her pocket. "You want these and I have them."
"Juni," Ken cooed. "This has gone far enough. Give me the keys."
"Don t even try it, buster. I know you too well for that to work on me," Jun said coldly. "What did Izzy tell you before I got here? About my demands, I mean."
"She mentioned that you would like me to be nicer to Jinpei after missions..."
"And?"
"I need to remember to praise as well as arse kick."
"And?"
"Um."
"She told him that he isn't to sleep around anymore," Joe supplied helpfully, sneering at Ken.
"Thank you, Joe. Nice of you to finally co-operate. And what did our fearless leader say to that?"
"He agreed that from now on it he will only schlep it to you and Sarie. No more one night stands."
"Excellent." Jun spun the key ring on her finger. "Did she also tell you who will be responsible for making sure Ken behaves himself?"
"Me." Growled.
"Nice touch, don t you think?" Jun laughed at his disgusted face. "Did she, by chance, mention that when Ken says 8 o clock we would like him to be there at 8? Not 10, 11 or 12?"
"She may have been getting to that when you turned up."
"Oh. Then add that to the list, Ken. Your punctuality sucks and it's a sign of disrespect to whomever is waiting on you." Jun glared at him until he nodded. Smiling she turned to Joe. "Now, what did you agree to, Joe?"
"Nuthin," Joe mumbled with a dark look.
"We didn t talk about Joe. What's he in trouble for?" Ken asked, grinning at his second.
"Izzy's demands."
"Oh, those. Since we are in the mood to be so co-operative all of a sudden," Ken said looking at Joe. "He agreed to abide by the yellow line. He apologised for insulting Bella's singing, although apparently he was trying to pay her a compliment... He refuses to promise not to slap her arse because it's too tempting, and I have to say I do see his point of view... He says I'm responsible for his foul moods, I say he's lying, so we're going to have to wait to see on that one... And I will talk to the design team about getting the engine cover fitted. Bella and Joe both seem to think they won t listen, but..."
Joe glared at Ken. "Are you quite done?"
"I think so. I have most of it in writing, numbnuts, so you will comply since it seems I have to." Ken glared back.
"Oh, Izzy and I will make sure he does, Ken. Just like we will make sure you do, don't worry." Jun chuckled as she took a photo of the boys glaring at each other.
"JUN!" Ken and Joe yelled as they both tried to cover themselves. Jun took as many photos as she could as they wriggled and squirmed, fighting over control of the linked hands.
"Oh, this is good!" Jun laughed in delight. "Ken, you're usually so proud! And Joe, I would have thought this wouldn't faze you one little bit. Who knew the Condor was camera shy?"
"What did I miss?" asked Isabella as she appeared in the open door of the bathroom, wrapped in a blue towel that had seen better days.
"Apparently Ken and Joe aren't comfortable being photographed naked in bed together..."
"Really? And yet earlier they were so pleased with their little birdies," Isabella drawled.
"Hey, watch what you're calling a little birdie, bitch."
"Temper, temper, Joey. Remember what I said about being able to part on our usual terms."
"Our usual terms are near on homicidal, Sarie!"
"Abide by the rules, Joe, and even that might change." Appearing unconcerned by her audience Isabella unwrapped the towel from around her body and began to dry her legs. "Jun, I don t suppose you see my clothes anywhere? I'm not sure in what direction they ended up." She gestured vaguely at the general disarray of the trailer's contents.
Jun glanced around the room. "I see your jeans on the floor in the kitchen. And I'm not going to ask why your shirt is on the table..."
"Best not." Isabella grinned as she worked the towel up her body. "I would suggest you don t eat here."
"That you can count on!" Jun laughed. "I don't see any underwear - except for the guys of course..."
"She didn't have any on," Joe said quietly, his focus fixed on Isabella.
"Given his probable mood after reading that e-mail I thought it was best that I made it easy for him," Isabella said in response to Jun's querying look.
"Our Condor isn't known for his patience at the best of times," Jun giggled.
"Oh, I wouldn t say that. He is quite capable of taking his time over things when he feels like it." Isabella smirked as she dried her arms.
Jun took a photo of Ken and Joe while they were too busy watching Isabella to notice, both biting their bottom lips. She grinned mischievously over the camera. Catching the white haired girl's attention she tilted her head slightly to indicate their rapt attention.
"Oh, we have a captive audience, Juni." Isabella's grin matched Jun's.
"In more ways than one, Izzy." Jun slowly raked a look up Isabella's body.
"I've always wanted to handcuff Joe. Make him more obedient..." Izzy let the towel drop from her hand as she took a step towards Jun.
"Hmm, an obedient Condor. That sounds like fun..." Jun smiled, stepping closer to Isabella.
"I thought you said she wasn't that experimental," Joe whispered hoarsely, watching Jun run her fingers lightly across Isabella's breast.
"She wasn t!" Ken caught his breath as Isabella leant in and kissed Jun on the mouth. "Is she using tongue??"
"Who cares?" Joe swallowed as Jun put her hand on Isabella's behind and pulled her in hard. "She's never done this before?"
"Um, no? I think I would remember this..."
"Damn." Joe let out a breath as Isabella tilted her head back to allow Jun to run her tongue down her throat. "I formally take back my refusal to participate in that three-way with Jun."
"I'll have to get back to you on that one when I can actually think..."
"Of course, I would prefer it if it was Jun and Sarie, rather you and Jun..."
"Me first, buddy. ARRGHH! JUN!" Ken yelled as Jun whipped around and took a photo of the two men sitting up in bed, completely ignoring everything except for the scene in front of them.
"Hmm," Jun showed Isabella the image on the camera. "I do like that, don t you?"
"Definitely a good shot and you can see everything. The next time they annoy you by competing over something you'll have the perfect reason for them to stop. After all, a picture speaks a thousand words." Isabella grinned impishly as she stepped into her jeans.
"I think I will have to blow up this one up. Take a few measurements. That way I will know for sure what you've told me is correct or not."
"Well, I can only go on my own personal experiences..." Isabella's voice was muffled as she shrugged into her top. "I'll just grab my shoes and phone and we can get going."
"Ah, girls? The handcuffs?" Ken said worriedly.
"You can have the keys, Ken. Don t panic." Jun watched Isabella slide on her shoes. "Why don't you wait on the bike for me, Izzy? A quick getaway is in order, I think."
"Good idea. Bye, boys and thank you - I had a great time! We will do it again soon." She blew a kiss at them as she stepped out the door.
Jun turned back to the two boys. "Now, the stunt last night didn't make up for the rats in the Snack, Joe - but this certainly does. If you ever do anything that could jeopardise my business again I will flay you alive, are you clear on that?" Jun stared him down.
"Sorry, I didn t think about that..."
"No, you didn't. But Izzy did. She was horrified when she found out what you used her pets for - she immediately thought about the possible consequences of rats loose in a restaurant! Now, she has promised to find out exactly what you plan to do with them before she lets you borrow them again, and you will stick to whatever you tell her they're for. If you don't then I will help Izzy tie you down before I leave the room to guard the door, am I making my meaning clear?" Jun asked, her head tilted.
"Well, it's not going to be worth using the rats again, is it? Sarie will only tell you what I m planning."
"You know her better than that, Joe. She won t say anything to warn me or anyone else as long as your plan is a safe one. She had some words to say to Ryu over his involvement in Ken's ribs getting broken, by the way. He has promised to come to one of us before helping with any prank you come up with, and the same secrecy rule will apply to me as much as it does to Izzy. Fun's one thing, Joe, but downright deadly is a whole different kettle of fish."
"Well, fuck." Joe said in disgust.
"Don't be like that, Joe. Planning this I found out that Izzy has quite a knack for getting things set up just right. Given your history together, I'm surprised that it seems to be the only talent of hers you haven't tapped."
"It's their history that stops him!" Ken chortled as Joe attempted to hit him.
"Yes, well. There's truth to that, I would say. It's your turn, Ken." Jun's face hardened as she turned her attention to him. "I know we're in the middle of a war and we can't make plans for the future, but you know how I feel. If you keep stomping on my feelings I will stake you over an ant hill and stuff your arse with honey. Izzy's fine, I know about her and I know how you feel about her - and, more importantly, I know how she feels about you. It's the ones you hide that hurt me. They're an unknown quantity and I will not have my heart broken because you're too gutless to tell me that you've found someone else while I was waiting around being faithful to you. If you're sleeping with me, then it's the same as you telling me that one day we might just have a future together. If you can't in good conscience do that, then it stops now. Do you understand me?"
Ken hung his head. "I am sorry, Jun. Joe and I have already had words about me not being very respectful of your feelings and I have to say I do see his point. You know how much I care about you, Juni. It won't be a problem at all to stick to what I've agreed. Losing you is far worse than giving up an occasional one night stand. In fact, I will go so far as to promise not to even sleep with Bella unless you're there too. That way it will be completely open. No secrets."
"That's more than I would have accepted, Ken. And something we can talk about at a later time." Jun glanced over her shoulder at the white haired figure sitting patiently on her bike. "Do either of you know if there is anyone that Izzy likes, in that way, I mean?"
Ken and Joe looked at each other.
"Not me, and I mean it's sure as shit not me." Joe replied.
"I doubt if she's capable, Jun. She's a commitment-phobe. Too afraid of ending up with a guy like her father probably." Ken answered sombrely. "The best person to ask would be Aaron, he knows her better than anyone else. Were you thinking of setting her up?"
"Something like that. Although I already had the feeling that maybe she enjoys rebelling a little too much for it to be possible. That father of hers needs a yo-yo upside his balls."
"Not you too, Jun!" Ken groaned. "I've already agreed to cover Joe's arse if we ever meet the man!"
"Only because I said you could kick him a few times yourself." Joe smirked.
"While 'accidently tripping' over him, I suppose?" Jun asked, smiling at Ken's answering grin. "I think, in that case, I could be satisfied with accidently kneeing him in the testicles a few times as I helped him get up..." Jun laughed. "I hope this means we re still a team?"
"We'll always be a team, Jun. Of course we could be even more of a team if you uncuffed us," Ken answered hopefully.
"Oh, no. It s definitely a girls' night tonight."
"And what exactly do you do on a girls' night, Jun?"
"Joe, I could tell you but then I would have to kill you," Jun said sweetly.
"One question, Jun. That performance over the bracelets, you know, last night?"
"Joe! Bella told me it was just a performance and I believe her. Just leave it, alright?"
"What you heard last night was just a performance, Joe. Nothing more." Jun shook her head. "But I suppose I should point out that what you should have asked was did we have a practice run to get the tone just right?" Jun fluttered her lashes as her meaning sunk in.
"Bella said that you wouldn't play without me..." Ken said in disbelief as Joe started chuckling.
"I don t play." Jun grinned. "Of course, right now, I'm rather interested in how Izzy got Joe to agree to taking up you on your offer of a threesome. I thought he was just mucking around last night when he suggested it... Oh, well - at least that's an answer I'll be getting." She tossed the keys, "Here, catch."
Turning she launched herself out the door. Jumping on the bike she revved it into life.
"Hope you guys have a good night as mine's guaranteed!" Jun called as she pulled away in a shower of dirt, Isabella's arms tight around her waist.
Ken and Joe stared after her, ignoring the keys on the bed between them.
"Did she mean what I think she meant?" Ken bit his lip.
Joe looked at him. "I don't know, that all was rather vague. What were they doing when you turned up last night?"
"Sleeping." Ken asked, brows drawn in consternation.
"In the same bed?"
"Yep. But that s not exactly unusual under the circumstances."
"The only way you are ever going to know is to ask again and refuse to accept a half answer. Of course, that would depend on whether you really want to know the answer."
"Good point. Maybe I ll leave it for now."
"Ken?"
"Yes?"
"This is a public trailer park."
Yeah, so?
"The fucking door's wide open."
.............
Ken threw himself into his chair. "Seriously, how many times do I have to tell you, Jinpei? Don t-"
"Ken?" Joe interrupted from his position at the radar. At the sound of his voice Ken turned to look at him. "Shouldn't we be taking off right about now instead of doing a debriefing that we'll only have to repeat when we get back to base?" Joe's face was fierce.
Realising Jun was watching him intently, Ken blew air through his nose. "Take us home, Ryu."
"Roger!"
"Ken?" Joe's voice could barely be heard over the thrusters.
"You did a good job on getting us real close to that mecha, Ryu. It was just perfect for the jump."
"Um, thank you, Ken".
"Oh, and, um, Jun? Nice work on the explosives. Just the right firepower and timing."
"Thank you, Ken." Jun smiled in amusement as Jinpei stared at her in disbelief.
"Jinpei?"
"Ken?" Gulped.
"I saw you biting that goon's head. Not sure what it did to your teeth, but, um, nice move. I'm sure he wasn't expecting that and it was a good use of an unexplored, um, weapon."
"Oh, thanks, Aniki."
"Joe?"
"Ken?"
"Atta boy."
