Cold. That's all she could feel. Ice filled her veins.
It hurt so much.
She could scarcely breathe. Her heart was hardly beating because the ice was slowly encasing it.
She didn't care. She had to get to her.
But she was too late.
He killed her.
The blood pooled around her lifeless body.
Her sister was dead.
She froze.
She couldn't save her.
No, Elsa, please…
Anna awoke, screaming but nothing came out. As if her throat was still frozen like in her nightmare. Her breathing was ragged as she slowly came to and realized she was back in her bedroom. No ice anywhere. Everything was fine. Elsa was safe.
Elsa…
In her feverish state, Anna threw the covers aside and nearly fell out of bed. She fumbled with the doorknob and stumbling down the hall made her way to Elsa's room. She needed to know that her sister was safe. That she was alive. Please, please be alive.
How she hated these moments. Ever since the Thaw, Anna had faced constant nightmares involving one or both of the sisters dying. Always some variation of the events on the fjord. Or finding Elsa in her ice palace having committed suicide, which still felt far too plausible some days. Anna desperately wanted it to end. Why couldn't it end?
But once again, she was in front of Elsa's door. That same snowflake pattern she knew by memory. She grasped the handle.
Locked.
No, no, no. Not again.
Panic took over as Anna frantically knocked. She couldn't even do her signature rhythmic knock; fear consumed her every thought. And just as she was about to start screaming for her sister…
The door swung open.
Anna looked up.
Elsa was standing there. Her eyes were wide and full of worry.
"Anna?"
She was alive.
"Elsa!"
Anna collapsed into Elsa, who stepped forward to catch her distraught sister. As soon as she felt strong arms wrapped tightly around her, Anna broke down completely. Tears ran down her cheeks as she sobbed into Elsa's shoulder. She grasped feebly to the back of Elsa's nightgown. The familiar chill emanating from her sister was far more pleasant than the chill in her nightmare.
They stayed like that for a while, Elsa rubbing soothing circles on Anna's back and whispering reassurances as she tried not to cry. But it was pointless; tears coursed down Elsa's cheeks because her sister was not fine. It pained her heart to see her sunshine this way. But she had to be strong for Anna, the way Anna had always been strong for her. It's what sisters do.
Finally, Anna's cries got quieter and she was able to stand on her own. As she lifted her head up, hiccuping and looking into Elsa's eyes, she felt two thumbs gently brushing away the tears on her cheeks.
"I'm here, Anna love. I'm here. I'm alive."
Of course she knew. They'd done this more times than she cared to count. Elsa knew by now what Anna's nightmares were like. Just as Anna knew what plagued Elsa at night. It was a burden they both wished they could relinquish, but for each other they would endure.
As Anna tilted her head into the pale hand cupping her face, while the other brushed her messy hair back, she glanced toward the bed which she expected to be sharing with Elsa as they usually did in these situations. Nothing soothed Anna's fears and warmed her heart like Elsa cuddling her close, especially the sound of her heartbeat.
Except…there was someone in her bed.
A pair of hazel eyes were trained on her, watching as if uncertain what to do or how to react.
Oh. Right.
Anna had forgotten about Cassandra. That she was staying in Arendelle. As her mind started putting the pieces together, she turned her attention back to Elsa and registered the thinner-than-usual nightgown and its…sexier look. No wonder the door had been locked.
Her face burned with embarrassment. She was sure it was turning as red as her hair.
Anna did not see Elsa's changing expression, morphing into a different kind of concern. Elsa could see Anna's growing embarrassment at having bawled her eyes out in front of someone other than her sister - even if it was the queen's new girlfriend. At that moment, Elsa wanted to pull Anna back into an embrace, but the latter was already closing herself off.
"Um…I should…I should probably…leave…" Anna began as she struggled to extract herself.
"Anna, please…" Elsa knew her sister. There was no way she was going to feel any better going back to her room after that.
"No, it's okay…I don't want to impose…I mean, you don't need me here-"
"Stop it," Elsa said more forcefully, trying to get her sister to halt her rambling. As she gripped her arms in trying to keep Anna from retreating, Cassandra quietly slid out of bed.
"Don't worry, I'll be okay," Anna attempted to feign confidence, which was a very poor choice. Stupid, to be honest. She clearly was not okay. "You should get back to…whatever you were doing…I'm sorry-"
"Anna."
A pair of hands held her face so that she was looking straight into ice blue eyes. She should have known better than to lie right to her sister's face.
"How bad was it?"
She didn't want to say, not with Cassandra present. The humiliation was overwhelming. And yet, she wanted to curl up in Elsa's arms like she always did. Why was this so hard?
"I, um…I…" Anna said quietly, forcing Elsa to lean closer to hear her. "You died," she barely whispered.
Elsa's heart clenched, knowing that vision was all too common for her precious little sister. She knew what needed to be done. "You're going to stay here tonight."
Anna looked up immediately. Normally she would be relieved or delighted, but right now she felt guilty. "No! I mean, sure that would be nice, but I really don't want to impose-"
"Listen to your sister."
A distinctly not-Elsa voice interrupted Anna's rambling excuse. Cassandra emerged by Elsa's side, dressed in a loose tunic and shorts. She had a matter of fact expression and held Anna's gaze.
"Let Elsa help you," she continued.
Anna stared incredulously. Did she know?
"She warned me this could happen," Cassandra added, as if she could read Anna's mind. "That you both have nightmares."
"I did," Elsa affirmed, getting Anna's attention back. "If she's going to be here with me, she needs to understand what will happen with us. So that she's ready."
But Anna was not feeling much better. If anything, she felt more humiliated that Elsa had told her girlfriend about the nightmares. Not that she didn't trust Cassandra, but the woman hardly seemed the type to cuddle and comfort.
"What about…whatever you were doing?" Anna tried to change the subject. "Are you mad?"
It was Elsa's turn to look incredulous. "Sunshine, how can I be mad? You're my sister and I love you, no matter what."
"I know, Elsa, but-"
"And your well-being comes first," Cassandra interjected, catching both sisters by surprise. Cassandra took a deep breath and continued, "Look, I've been here long enough to know how much you mean to each other. I love Elsa, I won't deny it. But whatever she feels for me, that doesn't compare to the love she feels for you, Anna. You're everything to her. Do you know how much she talks about you when we're together?"
Anna couldn't help but give Cassandra an incredulous look.
"Do you realize that every time you call her name or try to get her attention, she drops whatever she is doing for you? I can see it when she looks at you and smiles, how her face lights up. The way she hugs you like she never wants to let you go. Don't get me wrong, she loves me and shows plenty of affection," Cassandra paused to glance at Elsa before getting to her main point, "but one thing is certain: you will always be first in her heart."
So many words of love and truth. Anna knew these things were true - they had to be. But to hear them coming from someone who was not Elsa…
She found herself in a warm embrace as Elsa placed a tender kiss on her forehead. As she let Cassandra's words sink in, Anna felt overwhelmed with affection and sank into the embrace.
"I love you, Anna," Elsa said, choking up both from the simple confession and from the admiration she felt for her girlfriend. "More than you or Cassandra will ever know."
"I love you too, Elsa," Anna replied, wrapping her arms around her waist and squeezing back. After a minute, she looked up at Cassandra and asked, "You really don't mind?"
Cassandra shook her head. "I want Elsa to be happy. And you are the one thing that makes her happy no matter what. Seriously, you are her reason for living."
As much as it warmed her heart to hear those words, Anna was about to ask her to stop because she was going to start crying again. Fortunately, Elsa spoke up.
"Yes, you are, Love. I know it's not *sniff* a pleasant thing to think about, but *sniff* it's the truth. You are my *sob* my guardian angel, my everything."
Elsa had to stop because of all the emotions she was feeling. Though she was much more accustomed to such raw honesty by now, it still could take its toll on her. Sensing this, Cassandra swiftly stepped in and wrapped both sisters in a hug.
Anna was pleasantly surprised at Cassandra's display of affection, but she was glad to see her being so supportive of Elsa. Once they all broke apart, Elsa took Anna's hands and said, "Now, you'll be staying here tonight. No excuses."
Anna nodded, knowing there was no point arguing any further.
Elsa gave Cassandra a kiss and then got into bed, turning to face Anna and patting the spot next to her. Anna quickly scrambled onto the bed and snuggled close to her sister. As she buried her face into Elsa's neck and wrapped her arms around her frame, Anna could hear Cassandra getting settled in on the other side.
"Good night, Elsa."
"Good night, Cass," came the queen's reply. Then she turned her face back to her salvation and light. Kissing her forehead again, she stroked the sun-kissed copper hair she admired so much.
"Good night, love."
"Good night, Elsa," Anna murmured into Elsa's neck. "And thank you."
"I'll always be here for you, Anna," Elsa whispered. She grinned as she felt Cassandra snuggle closer and hold her lightly from behind.
As she inhaled the familiar scent of her sister, Anna finally relaxed enough to hear the sound she craved above all else. The sound that got her through all those terrible nights following their reunion. The one thing in this world that kept her going even when she felt lost.
Her sister's strong heartbeat.
"It beats because of you. For you. Always."
And with those words - followed by a final, gentle kiss from her beloved sister - Anna drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
