7th HELL
T'was a sunny Sunday afternoon when Eric Camden came tumbling home with a sack filled with cash. Young Eric, who was at the premature age of 59 had threatened to shoot everyone in the head if the didn't pay $20 in the collection box. Needles to say, Eric didn't take his Prozac that morning
"CHILDREEEN!" he proclaimed in his highly feminine, pansy voice. " We're going to…RED LOBSTER!"
He beamed at all 17 of them with his chunky smile.
" Annie, Lucy, Ruthie, Mary, Simmie, Matty, Davey, SAMMIE!"
They all skipped down the stairs except for Simon, who had two left feet (no seriously folks) they all skipped into their shitty 1995 Chrysler mini van and drove into the sunset to…RED LOBSTER!
When they got there they had to put two tables together for they had never seen such a large family before! Annie tried to amuse the twins with crappy ass colouring books (because she's such a bad mom) but they soon wandered off to the…Piranha cage!
One of the twins put his hand in the cage thinking it would be funny to 'play' with the fish. One of the Piranhas finally got pissed off at the twin and decided to get even. The fish bit into his hand and violently thrashed him around. Blood splashed as he evilly licked his lips.
The entertaining mime nearby silently laughed. One can quite easily come to the understanding that the twin died.
The CSI crew rushed to the scene for an investigation while the family sat clueless, cracking their lobster tails. It didn't take a brain surgeon to see that he dies to secure brain loss and drowning so they quickly rushed out of there leaving the severed body to float in the tank.
The dead twins finger lay twitching violently, much like a vibrating dildo. The living twin picked it up and caressed it gently against his cheek, mourning over his brother's death. He then, in one final act of love, stripped off his diaper and shoved the finger up his asshole, anally pleasuring himself where it got stuck never to be seen again.
Obituary
Last night a 1-½ year old boy died of small intestinal blockage and the inability to take a dump. His twin's body was found bloated and mutated in the fish tank. The family is now mourning the loss of both of the youngest of 20 children. You are welcome to join the Camden family at their local perish. Where past and father Eric Camden will be performing the service and hosting the funeral.
