title: The Devil, In Fact, Wears Leather Pumps

author: myinukoi

warning(s): Shounen-ai, language, sexual references

pairing(s): SasuNaru

disclaimer: I disclaim.

//summary;; Sasuke wishes for happiness. And so the Devil, in the form of a hot blond, grants him seven wishes. The catch? Sasuke's soul. So, all of the brunette's desires are fulfilled. But as expected, Naruto must add some small twists to each of his fantasies. SasuNaru. Yes, DevilUke!Naruto.

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The Devil, In Fact, Wears Leather Pumps

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Prologue

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Damn good-for-nothing servants!

Sasuke cursed and wiped the sweat from his dark brow.

He ignored the dust that penetrated his nostrils, causing a lengthy sneeze-fest, and continued searching through the attic.

All I ask for is a damn album. 'But Sasuke-sama! It's too duuuusty! I have allergies!' Tch...liars.

He crawled over to another box, being wary of how the low ceiling conflicted with his six-foot-two frame, and once again began his furious rummaging.

He sighed when his search once again turned out futile. "At this rate, how will I ever find that album...?"

A few days ago, he ordered two expensive frames from France, in which to hold his most glorifying pictures of his mother and father. He would place the frames at the base of their headstones in memorialization, seeing as the anniversary of their death was tomorrow.

But, as his luck would have it, sixty percent of his staff was allergic to dust-mites, fifteen percent were too old to do any laborious work, and the remaining twenty five percent was to incompetent to preform any task greater than running a bath and fetching a cup of tea.

He only hired that group because they were willing to do the work cheap.

He lived alone in his large mansion. His only (unwanted) social communication resided at work and at home. Funny, because half of the people he talks with on a daily basis, he doesn't even know their name.

"Damn it! Where is that damn photo album? Grrr...!"

The servants and maids scattered across the manor momentarily ceasing their work to shudder at their master's enraged yell. He always got like this when that day neared.

"Shit," he threw another empty box to the side, buried his face in his hands, and he began to curse. He cursed the death of his parents, he cursed the album, he cursed his inadequate employees, and he cursed himself...his loneliness.

He sighed. "What I wouldn't give to be happy..."

At that moment, a maid came in, her face undeniably flushed. As all of theirs were when they met someone handsome. Had Neji stopped by again?

"S-Sasuke sama!" She attempted to control her breathing. "A blond's at your doorstep."

"Tell Ino to go away." He never allowed his frustrated face to emerge from his hands.

"But Sasuke-sama, it's not Yamanaka-san. It is in fact a mal-"

Just then, the visitor walked into the room. "Oi, Uchiha-bastard! That you?"

Sasuke looked up and only his raised eyebrows and slightly widened eyes expressed his shock.

My God! That is one fine piece of a...

The stranger cocked his head to the side, the afternoon light that streamed in from the windows bathed him in a wondrous light. His rare tan skin radiated a golden hue, no doubt real. It was surprisingly easy to identify as legitimate seeing as how many women pranced around Tokyo with false spray on tans, as if their orange palms were invisible. His long, slender legs were clad in tight leather pants and his equally constricting shirt showed off nicely muscled abs. His blond hair, brightened with sun-bleached streaks of white-gold, was askew with messy sensuality. Faint whisker marks were visible on each cheek, adorable if anything...

Is this, Sasuke wondered, an angel...?

"Could you excuse us?" the unidentifiable man asked with such a cocky confidence, you would have presumed him to be the owner of the house.

His unbearably blue eyes sparkled with mischief. Clear, like the heavens.

Undoubtedly an angel.

"It's happiness you want, eh Teme?" his voice resonated with brash arrogance.

"Who are you? Get out of my home." Sasuke answered with cool finality; observant to how the boy's voice carried 'trouble' with every bold tone.

"Who am I?" The blond smirked. "Call me He laughed to himself. "Like the fishcake!"

"Well, Fishcake, would you mind leaving my premises."

Naruto pouted. "No. Na. Ru. To. Naruto. You're not that smart after all. Probably one of the reasons you're so miserable." The shock on the brunette's face was now obvious. His mask was perfect! How could this stranger...?!

Naruto was shoved against one of the walls of the spacious, yet slightly cramped attic. Dust emerged from the cracks of the walls around them, yet Sasuke ignored it and Naruto just didn't care. The Uchiha's breathing was harsh and his eyes glittered with anger.

"Are you another stalker? Because I'll have you know, that I have had quite enough of your kind!" Sasuke snarled, yet even in his current irate state, he knew no other stalker, hell - no other person! - was vigilant enough to make such an assumption, and if so, no one was brave enough to voice it.

Naruto seemed unfazed by the Uchiha's blunt anger and the sparks of humor never left his eyes. "They were right! Your irises do kinda go red when you're pissed."

"They? Who's they?!" Sasuke glared, hating this blond already.

"My horde of minions." Blue eyes rolled as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Sasuke dropped the blond to the unswept floor and his anger dispersed quickly.

"Ah, I see." Sasuke mumbled to himself.

"You do?" Naruto was slightly shocked, but happy nonetheless. It was so tiring to convince humans of these things...

"Yeah," Sasuke chuckled lightly, "you're mentally ill."

Naruto sweat-dropped.

"Give me your last name and I'll call up an ambulance."

Naruto smirked and took his index finger... Well-manicured, Sasuke thought as he looked at his flawless cuticles and accurate nail-length... and poked it into Sasuke's hard chest. The brunette was sent sailing across the room and hit the far-end wall with a 'thud!' that was just endlessly amusing to Naruto.

"Hahaha...what a weakling!"

Sasuke was befuddled at the man's strength. It was absolutely inhuman!

"Just what are you...?" he questioned tentatively.

Naruto was at the other end of the attic, straddling Sasuke's lap, in less than a heartbeat. Now Sasuke was certain he was not human. He pulled Sasuke's face close to his, smirking at his confused expression. Then he turned the pale, handsome face to the right and whispered in Sasuke's ear huskily.

"The devil."

"Devil?" Sasuke spat out with an 'Are-you-serious?' tone.

"Yes. Or Satan, Ruler of the Underworld, Ultimate Tempter, Lucifer, Angel of Darkness, Hades, The Fallen One, Ar-"

"Okay, okay, Satan. I get it." Sasuke ceased the blond's boisterous speech, seeing as with every synonym of evil, Naruto's chest seemed to swell even more with pride.

"Yeah, but remember! I also go by Na. Ru. To!"

"Hm...I rather call you that." Sasuke was still weary of this extremely strong, extremely insane, extremely hot blond stranger.

"So, you're unhappy right? What's wish number one?" Naruto stepped back, allowing Sasuke to stand up.

"Wish?" Sasuke was ashamed. He had asked more questions today than he had in his entire lifetime. Instead of a brain, his head buzzed with millions of question marks.

"You do want to be happy, don't you? Isn't that what you want more than anything in the world?"

Black-blue bangs shadowed equally dark eyes, yet a sardonic smile was visible. Sasuke's beautiful face was scarred by pain and loneliness and Naruto was happy, in devilish sense, that he would be the one to take that away.

"You can't make me happy." Sasuke mumbled.

"'Course I can! If you make it worth my while..." Naruto waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm not gay. I'm not going to fuck you." The brunette's voice was as monotone as ever.

"Tch..." Naruto's face wrinkled in disgust. "As if I would let myself be contaminated by an unworthy human!"

"Wow. Thanks." Sasuke spat with painfully obvious sarcasm.

"Seven wishes." Naruto offered and Sasuke scoffed.

There was a lengthy moment of silence, spent with Sasuke's brooding and it was ready to end with Naruto's impatience.

Just as the demon was ready to unleash his fury, "What's the catch...for the wishes? What do I have to do?"

He received a cocky smirk, the one that Sasuke was beginning to believe was his signature look.

"Hm..." Naruto nodded his head to the left, to the right, to the left, allowing his blond locks to flop carelessly to each side of his head, as he falsely contemplated. He knew what he wanted, and Sasuke knew he knew what he wanted. But such propositions could not be delivered without any nerve-wracking foreplay to begin with.

"How about...a dollar per wish? Nah. An Armani dress suit? Nu-uh." Naruto brought a long, elegant finger to his plush lips in quite contemplation.

He smirked. "How about your soul?"

Sasuke choked on air, yet he should have expected this. It was the devil, of course!

Wait a minute! Let's back up here! Yes, go ahead and rewind.

Some gorgeous blond trespasses onto your extravagant property, enters your home without permission, calls you out on your misery, throws you against a wall with inhuman strength, straddles you seductively, claims he's the devil, and wants to grant you several wishes in exchange for your soul when you die.

"I," Naruto began. "The almighty Satan, will give you seven wishes for your pitiful soul. Four more than those tight-ass genies! No restrictions to your fantasies, Sasuke! I'm offering you the world at your feet! Ultimate power. This is your only chance to turn your life around." He caught Sasuke's eyes with his serious blue orbs and the Uchiha was mesmerized by the intensity of the stare. "Take the offer. You won't get a chance like this again."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, sure that the blond was a nutcase. "I wish for a McDonald's Big Mac and a medium Coke."

Naruto closed his eyes. The attic walls and the dusty floor contorted and began to swirl like multi-colored cake mix. When Sasuke's settings were still once again, he touched a frame on a pure white wall to confirm his destination was real.

The frame read McDonald's Hamburgers: Over 99 Billion Served. He turned to the cash register to see a long line filled with people in casual jeans (some in sweat pants; undoubtedly McDonald's more frequent and bigger customers) and Naruto was at the front speaking to a blushing lady at the cash register.

"Big Mac...no. Not the meal. He is so weird. I'm like, 'Get the fries, too'! But, hey! It's his wish! Oh yeah! A Coke too. Medium."

She stared at him oddly, but her blush never faded. He took the receipt and smirked at it.

He walked back over to Sasuke, the line's eyes followed him hungrily, making them momentarily forget their meals.

"Here," Sasuke took the offered receipt and glanced at the number that would be called for his order. He gulped. Three six's.

"666?! 666?! Your meal is ready. 666?!"

Little children giggled at the number.

When Sasuke went to fetch his meal, he was surprised when the employee had her hand held out, expectant.

"Excuse me?" he questioned.

"That will be $4.02 please." (AN: I sure as hell don't feel like dealing with Yen right now.)

His eyes widened and he turned to the blond who was waving his hand in the direction of the worker. "Pay the nice lady, Sasuke."

"Eh? I left my money at home!"

"Stupid!" Naruto pointed and laughed.

Sasuke's face was so red. He had never been so humiliated! That damn...

...Devil!

A woman, a year or so younger than him offered him a bill with a coy wink.

"Here's a five. Keep the change," she murmured suggestively.

He ignored her advances, but took the time to get her number and address. To pay her back, he insisted, but she chose to see it as a possibility for a date. Oh well...

He turned to see a still-giggling blond.

"No money! Hahaha...richest entrepreneur can't afford a four dollar burger! That's rich! Pun intended! Hahaha..."

"What the hell was that?!" Sasuke whispered harshly. "You couldn't even pay!"

Naruto blinked at him. "Of course not. It was your burger. Maybe you'll be more specific with your next wishes, eh?"

This guy was unbelievable!

"So...what is wish number two?" Naruto asked, bored with the first one.

Sasuke thought for a moment... then smiled.

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//author's notes;; Yeah. So this story will kinda be based off of Bedazzled. Which I do not own. Been awhile since I watched it so bear with me.

Comments? Criticisms? Any kind of damn review?