I couldn't not write this when I heard the song Stay by Gavin Mikhail. I know, I know, I should be working on A Stone's Throw Away. -smacks wrist with a ruler- I promise I'll get right back to writing after this. It helps to listen to the song before, or while reading. Even after, if you so choose. Please read and review! -Amy

Stay

We've come this far

And it's so clear

That we are everything you hoped for,

loved, and feared

And I don't know

The reasons why

All this time it goes by slowly

And we don't see

Much to fight for...

I love him. It doesn't scare me anymore. I can say it without stuttering now. And I know he loves me too. We've come so far. I remember the first time I met him. I thought he was arrogant, bossy, and full of himself. Besides that, I just didn't want to be loaned out to the FBI like a possession. To put it mildly, I was pissed.

With his alpha-male persona, he made me feel like he regarded my as property. Then, all of a sudden, I realized that he was doing it because he loved me, and wanted me to be safe. That's when I knew that I loved him. It all became so clear. Now here we are, a decade later. We've been married for four years. It took us almost three and a half years of partnership to figure out that we were attracted to each other. We dated for two and a half years before we got married. And no, I don't think it's an archaic and antiquated ritual. Not anymore.

What if I get lost here?

Without you nearby could I still breathe?

Please tell me...

If I would stay here and wait for you

Would you stay here and wait for me?

Could you stand and believe in the

face of all you never wanted

This life I lead...

Now, he's undercover, has been for two months. The assignment is supposed to be five months long. I feel like I'm going to die. I can't breath without him here. Nevertheless, I have to be strong for our daughter. She misses her daddy so much. I tell her he's on a business trip, and he'll be back soon. Why doesn't he call, Mommy? She asks me. What am supposed to say? I tell her he's very busy. How am I supposed to explain to a three-year-old that Daddy is putting his life on the line to put a bad guy in jail?

I never wanted this life. I was always determined to be independent, to never rely on anyone. I felt that if I needed someone, that I'd lose who I was. And who's to say they'd stay? Everyone I ever loved had walked out on me. Now, here I am, a wife, a mother. And I'm needing him. And I know he'll stay.

I owe so much

To who you are

And, though I've fallen time and time again

You've picked me up and brought me far

I'm safe

And still you fight

And every time you give, I live to find my way

I try to make things right...

If I get lost here?

Without you nearby could I still breathe?

Please tell me...

I own him everything. My life. My happiness. He's made me, well, me. I am complete. I have love. I love and I am loved. I have a family. Every time I needed rescuing, he would come save me. Whether it was my body, or my soul, that needed saving. Even when I am safe, and content, he's still always fighting to be better, to make me better. With him, I am better.

Without him, I'm still okay. I'm still a whole person, able of caring for myself and my little girl. But, still, I can't help missing him, needing him beside me. Although I'm whole, I know that a part of me, a part of my heart, is not present. I need him to come back to me.

If I would stay here and wait for you

Would you stay here and wait for me?

Could you stand and believe in the

face of all you never wanted

This life I lead...

I'm sorry for the times that I could not prepare you

For every little thing that I could not decide

No not for us

I am not the one who fights

To keep our love awake and still alive

But someday soon we'll be alright...

I've never been easy. I know that. Half the time, I can't figure out why he's stayed with me. I was a wreck. Hell, I'm still a wreck. I'm broken. I'm problematic. I have a knack for getting myself into compromising situations with homicidal maniacs, crazed killers and gang leaders. He's the only one who's never left me. Any other man would have said "sayonara", and headed for the hills. Not my man. He loves me. Really and truly and completely.

I'm sorry, Seeley. I'm so sorry. I put you through so much. You've had to deal with my problems for so long. All you ever wanted to do was take my troubles onto yourself. I wouldn't let you. I fought with you. I didn't see. I didn't know. I thought you were trying to be dominating. I didn't realize that two alpha personalities could coexist so well. It's all about compromise. You taught me that. We've had our rough spots, and we'll always have them, but we'll be alright.

All because of love.

What if I get lost here?

Without you nearby could I still breathe?

Please tell me...

If I would stay here and wait for you

Would you stay here and wait for me?

Could you stand and believe in the

face of all you never wanted

This life I lead

Never wanted this life I lead

Never wanted this life I lead...