Sam's Senses

Author Note: Just a brief take on what Sam experiences after the loss of Dean, post NRFTW.


The sounds of rain droplets pelting the window is only muffled by the ratty beige hotel curtains that are merely show for blocking out light and sound. It's soothing and terrifying all at once. Overwhelmingly so. I could drown in it. And still might.

The residual light filtering through, coming from passing cars on the highway, briefly illuminates my face in a slightly orange glow against the pale yellow walls. Stony still and emotionless. Like that of a corpse. No life remaining. Any longer.

The rough and scratchy feel of the dusty beige bedspread beneath my fingertips is a little reminder that I am still alive. That my heart betrays me by continuing to beat. Hollow minuscule thump, thump, thump. Reminding me that unlike my brother, I am still alive.

My socked feet rub against the dingy carpet leaving small trails between the threadbare strands that fight to hold onto each other. Kind of reminds me of Dean and me. Always fighting to hold onto each other. Never seems to work but we never give up, the same.

"Why?" The one word able to pass from my raw throat and repeated in my mind a thousand times. Why him? Why me? Why us? Why, why, why? When will this ever end? A continuous merry go round of questions circulate my mind without allowing time for an answer.

The taste of salt against my parched lips from tears I am unable to hold back any longer. The more I hold them back, the harder they fight to be released. Along with my rage at the situation at hand. I miss my brother.


AN: This just came to me today while listening to the rain outside and struck me as something that Sam might experience after Dean's death. Your comments would be greatly appreciated.