hey guys! this is my second fanfic, (i deleted my first one because i didn't like it) but this one is a parody. in this story, the HG characters discover the internet. this is supposed to be funny but i'm not really all that great at translating thoughts into writing, enjoy and please tell me what you think of it and leave a review.

oh, and i'm completely obsessed with HG. i live, eat and breathe HG and i saw the movie twice (once at midnight and one other night too with my homies) and my favorite songs? safe and sound, eyes open, and abraham's daughter.

one last thing: this is set one year before katniss and peeta get selected for the hunger games, but it's an alternate universe, so it's not going to necessarily follow the i-never-spoke-to-peeta-until-the-games thing from the book. I made Katniss a little bit more social with others too, not that she's hanging with them or anything. just a little touch to make the story more interesting. oh, and gale's in their grade

and this first chapter may not seem like it, but I AM team Peeta and that is how the story will work out:) just a heads up

i need to shut up before i give anything more away. enjoy!

chapter one- katniss POV

I was sitting in History and Government of Panem, twirling my stubby pencil, not really caring what was going on. Suddenly the teacher spoke my way.

"Miss Everdeen? Do you have an answer or not?"

"Wait, what are we talking about?" I knew that by acting so out of it i would earn myself another detention. Again, I don't care. I usually skip out on detention, anyways. Sometimes, they'll phone my mom, but she doesn't care either. As long as I keep the food on the table for her and Prim, she can't complain.

"I asked, what are the 3 major qualities of District Three?" I'm not sure why this is relevant. We will never be able to visit any other district, unless we're reaped for the Hunger Games.

"Um, they make electronic stuff, right?" I hear snickers around the room and I look around the room, flashing a grin and exchanging a high-five with Gale.

"Detention, Miss Everdeen. But, ironic as it is, her comment segues us into our next topic. Raise your hand if you've ever used a computer before." No hands go up. We've heard of them, but in a dirt-poor district like Twelve, no one has ever laid their gaze on one.

"Well, we're going to be using them today. The Government of Panem has issued a computer to each one of you students. Before we can start utilizing them, though, we have to learn to operate them. Today, we'll focus in typing and the Internet." Don't know what the Internet is. Don't know what typing is. Don't care.

SIX HOURS LATER**

We've become "acquainted" with our computers, and Mrs. Carlton is giving us a half-hour to use them for what we want. The internet is actually pretty interesting, though, and it's where i'm going to spend all my time on this hunk of metal.

When i open up the internet browser, i am immediately directed to a page called Facebook. Mrs. Carlton made everyone set up, and it's a page about you. You're supposed to put all your personal information on there. I see a box pop up in the corner:

Peeta Mellark has sent you a friend request.

Oh, my god. That kid is annoying. He's one of the 'preps' from the richer side of town, not from the Seam, the poor slum where I am lucky enough to live. Ha. Lucky. Considering we live in the poorest part of the poorest district, we're probably the worst off of all of Panem. He's always drooling after me and Gale and I always make fun of him. He's the baker's son. Prim loves his cakes, and I always take her down to the storefront to look at them. Maybe I can sell this computer for enough money to finally buy her one. I decide to go ahead and accept his request because i'm sure that if I decline he'll ask again.

Madge Undersee has sent you a friend request.

I keep getting these requests and I don't turn anyone down. I go to different people's pages to see that they have already posted all sorts of pictures of themselves with other kids in the class. A lot of girls' pictures have their lips puckered, trying to look all 'hot' and 'cute' for the guys in our class. They look the ducks that I hunt every day out in the woods.

I see a chat window pop up on the bottom right of my screen. Gale.

(A/N imagine it in chat format. APPARENTLY, it's not allowed. thanks but no thanks Arctic-something can't remember your name at the moment ): )

Gale Badass Hawthorne said, "hey catnip"

Katniss Everdeen said, "hey 'badass'"

Gale Badass Hawthorne said, "I think it sounds cool, don't you?"

Katniss Everdeen said, "No."

Gale Badass Hawthorne then said,"Well i like it. It makes me sound more tough."

Katniss Everdeen said,"No, it makes you sound like a dumbass."

Peeta Breadboy Mellark says," hEy GuYs WhAtS uPpP? iSn'T tHe WaY i TyPe So CoOl?"

Gale Badass Hawthorne says, "Fuck off, Peeta."

Katniss Everdeen says, "Yeah, nobody likes you."

Peeta Breadboy Mellark says, "sOb SoB! yOu GuYs MaKe Me SaD! Im OuTtA tHiS cOnVo!"

Peeta Breadboy Mellark decides to leave the conversation.

Gale Badass Hawthorne says, "well i'm glad he's gone."

Katniss Everdeen says, "yeah me too."

Madge Undersee comes in to the conversation and says, "hey guys what's up?"

Katniss Everdeen says, "oh, hey madge"

Gale Badass Hawthorne says, "sup madge"

Madge Undersee says, "i just got the stupidest message from peeta."

Gale Badass Hawthorne says, "us too."

Madge Undersee says, "he's annoying sometimes."

Katniss Everdeen says, "sometimes? all the time."

Peeta Breadboy Mellark says, "hEy GuYs I'm BaCk! HeY mAdGe!"

peeta's pov

i just got off of facebook chat with my girlfriend, Katniss! I'm so happy! Whenever she tells me to "fuck off" or "leave me alone", i know that she means that she loves me but isn't ready to tell the rest of the world yet. That's okay, though, because we both love each other so much. And now that we have these computers, we'll be able to communicate even more!

Authors' Note- I came and changed this story after Chapter 7 because i got a review telling me i would be reported if i didnt' change the chat format that I have in this chapter and the next one, i think. That's why the chat looks weird, but now the story (which i thought was harmless, thank you) is within the guidelines (i checked and this was in fact a guideline) and hopefully you were able to read the first 2 chapters of this story before it got changed. On to chapter two.