I've just finished watching TTT yet again and so I feel compelled to write a LOTR fic. Especially since my last post was two whole weeks ago. Usually stick to anime but I think I'll try this out for once or I'll never forgive myself.

Do not own LOTR. If I did, I'd be able to do whatever I wanted with Gollum and he'd be tortured by orcs forever.

It's Pink

"No!"

"Legolas, you DO realise we have to be on the battlefield in less than ten minutes and now isn't really the time for you to be worrying about your looks?"

"It's PINK."

"The only thing the orcs are going to be noticing is whether or not your neck is broken."

"I wasn't referring to the orcs. You know Haldir is going to be there?"

"Haldir? Spare me, the guy's still screwing around with one of my twin brothers and I've yet to find out which one!"

"Those are no orcs. Those are fighting Uruk-Hai."

"Shut up, Gimli."

Aragorn and Legolas had yet to master the art of killing (each other) with looks, (A/N: Like they haven't killed enough fangirls already) but they were no doubt still trying. It was surprising how two otherwise intelligent warriors would take part in a child's staring competition, especially over something this trivial. War wasn't one of those things designed to bring out a person's inner child.

"Wear it!"

"I said no and I Mean no!"

"If you don't you'll never be able to see past that hair you've got over your face! You'll never know when an orc axe is coming at you until it hits! We have few enough soldiers as it is!"

"I've always been able to see when I was fighting in the past, even with my hair as long as it is now."

"May I remind you, that was when it was braided."

Fair enough. Legolas wasn't wearing his usual braids and fancy hair. He hadn't counted on losing the rubber bands in the last battle. As a result he hadn't brought extras and was now faced with the problem of hair falling over his face every time he moved his head. A problem that Aragorn was trying to fix, but with all the wrong methods, depending on one's point of view.

"Don't brandish that thing in my face!"

"I'm not. Strictly speaking, I'm brandishing it in your hair, which just so happens to be covering said face." Aragorn was being unusually snarky.

And who could blame him? The ranger was getting frustrated with the curious looks he was getting from the Rohan citizens. If he could just get rid of the bright pink strip of plastic in his hand... When had all this started anyway? Ah yes.

Some time ago...

"Legolas looks a bit different now than when I last saw him..."

"Yeah... it's the hair."

"It's finally dirty for once?"

"No, you twit, it's come untied."

"Oh right..."

Aragorn had never seen Legolas with his hair untied. Even though tied hair was always in minimal amounts anyway. He should let his hair down more often... But enough of that. Now that Legolas had nothing to tie his hair with, it curtained his face every single time he moved. That was not good. Something needed to be done before the battle. Legolas was too valuable to lose. But Aragorn had the perfect solution to the problem and Legolas would not be lost. Hairbands were a miraculous creation. The problem would be virtually nonexistent if he could just convince Legolas to wear that thing...

End Flashback

If he could just convince Legolas to wear that thing.

Aragorn had quickly discovered that convincing Legolas to wear a pink hairband was not a "just". Especially since it was pink.

"Legolas, wear it or die. This thing could save your life. You can explain it to Haldir."

"It's PINK."

He won't wear it just because it's pink?Geez...Wait.

"Does that mean you'll wear it if it's a different colour?"

"No."

Damn.

Hours Later...

"Say, Aragorn, have you seen Legolas around? I haven't run into him the whole of tonight. I thought he'd be celebrating the victory with everyone else."

"True... I wonder where he is. Damn the elf, he should have recovered by now..." Maybe he really did die of embarrassment...

"Why? Is he ill?"

"No, not at all..." Where's the bloody idiot? If he dies, I'll kill him!

After persuading Haldir that Legolas was in fact in the pink of health, (pun not intended) Aragorn managed to make him stay put and "enjoy the drink and company for a while". Aragorn, in the meantime, dashed off to look for Legolas. Sure, they hadn't counted on Eomer bringing a camera and snapping pictures of everything and everyone, but Aragorn hoped Legolas hadn't died of mortification just yet. He still marveled at how he'd managed to make Legolas wear a hairband, but now wasn't the time to be worrying about things like that.

"Um, My Lord Aragorn, would you by any chance be looking for Prince Legolas?"

"Yes, have you seen him?"

"He retired to his room and said he would not be seeing anyone tonight. He left a message for you to tell Lord Haldir that he was sorry."

God damn that bastard...

Oh well. Back to the party.

"Hey Aragorn, look what Eomer sold me!"

I dread to think what the Idiot of Middle Earth has been doing, but what's done is done. I will get him later.

He grabbed the picture that an oh-so-slightly tipsy Haldir was waving before his face and stared.

And stared.

Haldir hiccuped slightly. "Cute, no?"

"If you say so. I shouldn't have given him that."

And after all that trouble he gave me about Haldir possibly getting a heart attack...

More than a tad pissed, Aragorn grabbed a conveniently placed bucket of cold water and dumped it over Haldir's head. Which sobered the elf up considerably. However, this would also mean that Haldir was able to think properly again.

"You gave him that?"

Aragorn was still a little lost in his own deep and profound brain activity that no one will ever understand or try to. "Yeah..."

Haldir was silent for a while, and looking thoughtfully at the photograph of unfortunate elf prince.

"...Aragorn?"

"What? I'm in a bad mood. Make it quick."

"Where did you get that pink hairband anyway?"

End

A/N: Damn. This has got to be the most lousy impotent piece of writing I was ever cursed to come up with. But I'm posting it anyway.