Please ignore grammar and spelling mistakes, English is not my native language.

Changes…

Every now and then, her mind drifted to the past. She was trying to put behind her the memories and circumstances that brought her to where she is now. Leaving her home, leaving that place full of memories was not enough to erase them. It was going to take more than a change in location to help her put those memories behind her and to enable her to love again.

Back in time hope was all that she had. She hoped that they would be together till the end.

She was expecting from him at least to be a friend, a shoulder she could lean on through it all.

Right now, all she could feel was the numbness which was like a storm inside of her. She couldn't help looking back, she couldn't run away. He meant so much to her, these feelings were embedded in her chest and it hurt so much to hold.

She was left lost, lonely and cold.

It's been a while, she was expecting to find someone better, someone to make her feel, like never before… but it was more than clear, her mind resented and her heart was bringing her back in the past.

Location: Atlantic City, New Jersey

As a Dean of Medicine and Chief Hospital Administrator of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital when she was in charge, she had a very limited medical practice due to her administrative duties. She had wanted to be a doctor ever since she was 12 years old and she felt the need to replace the paper work with some real doctor-patient interaction. She accepted to work for The AtlantiCare Regional Medical Center City Division. She went through some big changes and the hour of parting with the old habits was at hand.

A couple of months went away, before she managed to gather herself together. Attempts to move on were made.

Memories flashed back in again every time when her mind connected the surrounded space and objects with him.

It was the end of the autumn, but the sky was clear and the sun was up and shining bright. She looked in at the picnic tables in the park when passing through it. She stopped and looked around, laid down on one of them and closed her eyes.

Is that Vicodin?
- Breath mint. Thought you were gonna kiss me.
- What happened to rehab?
- I got out.

It was a scam?

Enough of the foreplay, are you going to kiss me or what?

Or a busy day at the hospital, she was stressed and burned out. She felt worn out but couldn't hide her smile when she saw two cute three-year-old kids fighting with wooden sticks, in the waiting room, in front of her office.

Until one of them shouted: "Prepare to be defeated ye bloody scallywag!"… And her smile faded away in seconds.

Another day she tried to interact with the new colleagues, she was trying to fit in. The conversation ended with discussion whether or not the cable tv should be allowed in all hospital premises. Her mind went beyond the topic.

Let's stay at my place tonight, okay?
- Will you get cable?
- No.

Then we'll have to have more sex.
Okay.

She missed him and hated herself for that.

[H][H][H][H][H][H]

- I can't.

- Why not?
- I never sleep with married women.

In Dominika's eyes House was a strange man. She knew from the start that the marriage has nothing to do with the money that she was offering him. Despite of the fact that she was not aware of his motives she knew one thing - she was smart enough to know that a man rarely turns down free sex.

She saw one completely different part of him. On paper, her so called 'husband' was a single man, but right then and there she knew the truth! His mind and heart was longing for someone else.

His physical pain was visible for everyone – but she understood that this pain was not related with the emptiness in his eyes. Right now she didn't mean a thing for him. A change had come in him.

His mind was occupied with thoughts.

The night was fast closing in.

Thirteen's words were stuck in his mind.

- I didn't expect compassion from you. I would have taken commiseration. Hell, I would have taken revulsion. Any emotional engagement at all. It's no wonder Cuddy broke up with you.

House tried everything to run away from the reality. Maybe Thirteen was right, his inability to be emotionally engaged with the problems of the others, was a thing that was an enormous chasm between him and his relationship with people.

In his relationship with Cuddy he tried to be related to her social life, even help her from time to time, without her knowledge about that. Interacting with Rachel was one of his attempts to make things work. But as usual he did things the way he wanted them to be, and most of the time his approach was exactly the contrary of people's concept of what's wrong and what's right.

Their relationship started emotionally, with both of them reveal feelings that none of them was willing to admit before. But the collision of their different personalities was inevitable.

He wasn't willing to change – not his personality, not even his attitude – defensive and aggressive, rejecting the rightness of the others. He had his fear from the start. He wasn't a person who plays by the rules, he wasn't a player in others' games – he was a creator and he was playing by his own rules – you don't like it, deal with it. And Cuddy was not an exception. She allowed him to be part of her well-arranged world. She knew that the House brings chaos everywhere, but she did love him and exposing her world and kid to House's incoherent behavior, was her self-sacrifice. Every day together was a challenge. Cuddy needed someone she could trust, no matter the circumstances. For both of them giving freedom to their feelings was a sublime moment. It was present the urge to explore the possibility that they may have the strength to follow the same road. But their relationship ended with an unexpected collapse. The break up was followed by too many questions and unsaid words.

He was angry and hurt! He wanted a second chance, but he did not believe himself that he deserved one.

She did struggle inside, but according to his believes she didn't stand to keep their relationship, she ended it without a fight. When he saw another man, in her house – the anger blinded his mind. Jealousy was opening his scars.

And jealousy is such an evil thing, when you're full of envy.

.

Dominika didn't have a past that was related to House. They didn't share unfavorable or any hostile moments together. She turned out to be part of his present during some quite odd circumstances. She was an open-minded and very positive thinking person. For her House was smart and funny, man of many talents, great manipulator. With the time they got to know each other better. She was familiar with his struggles and addiction, but she had seen worse. After all he was functioning man, despite his pain, and his brilliant mind caught her attention. House was indeed older than her – she was young and attractive, a woman at her best, but in her eyes he was somehow attractive. Last but not least, she was very grateful for his help. She learned not to violate his personal space when his mind was somewhere else. Other than his moody personality – she liked the man.

Time was passing quickly.

Cuddy tried to adjust herself to her new life. Rachel was OK. Kids seem to adapt easier at her age. The changes in her daily routine were tactile – changing a nanny, school, different playgrounds. But as far as Cuddy was there for her – Rachel was doing just fine with their relocation. On the other hand, the stress on Cuddy's shoulders was more increased. She made a decision. She needed to spoil herself, even a bit.

Her life has been always busy, but she managed to take care for her look. Her natural beauty was notable for everyone. With or without her lab coat, her low cut tops could not be overlooked by the male doctors at the hospital. A pair of brand new heels was always noticed by the female doctors. Young patients would admire her choice of clothes or her well shaped body. Older once will peer into her blue-gray eyes with admiration.

Yes, Lisa Cuddy was a great looking woman and she felt good about herself.

When she was walking down the hallways at the hospital she attracted people's attention, but no one dared to speak his affection verbally. Most of the good looking men were married. The rest, she could be possibly interested in, well they really suffered from lack of imagination, they couldn't express themselves. Let's face it – they were boring!

The lack of board meetings was totally not a miss for Cuddy. But she was looking forward to the conferences' schedule, related to her field. And one of them she would gladly attend. It was two months ahead, in the middle of the summer – mid July. The location was still not sure – but she could only hope to be at some summer resort, so she could bring Rachel and spend some quality time with her. After all, now that she was not a dean, she wasn't obligated to attend to all lectures – but only the one she is interested in. It was a time for Lisa Cuddy to skip some work time – at least for once!

She wanted to enjoy her life again! Cuddy left all thoughts related to the work for later. Rachel was at school and she had half of the day for herself.

New hair style was the first thing on her 'to do list'!

On her way back to the hospital she stopped at the first beauty salon.

New hairdresser – new style – new look! Enough with the dark thoughts and the stress.

The salon was small and fancy. Looked new and it was not crowded like the most popular once.

"Hello, dear! My name is Ivanna. How can I help you!"

Cuddy smiled politely.

Cuddy picked a promo pack – hairstyle, manicure, pedicure – all with 20% discount. The music in the salon was relaxing and the ladies looked nice. One of them Nataliya – the manicurist, entered the salon with a few plastic cups with ice-coffee and announced loudly:

"Let's start ladies!"

For an hour Cuddy already knew half of their life story. Ivanna and her friend Nataliya were middle aged Ukrainian, both divorced. They moved in USA together a long time ago. They turn out to be very talkative and shared with Cuddy details from their lives that usually people prefer to keep to themselves, but she didn't mind – sometimes it was a good to know that she wasn't the only one with bad taste for men.

"What about you honey? Any good lookin' guy next to you? A woman like you – there is no chance to be single. Tell us sweaty, where are you from?"

Trying to avoid the first question, Cuddy said with a smile:

"Well, I moved here a few months ago. Was living and working in Princeton."

"My, oh my! Guess what, I have a cousin living there. She is a crazy girl, I'm tellin' ya. Haven't seen her in a while though. Talking about problems with marriage – that girl always surprised me with her approaches. Can you believe it – she fells for the guy that she is married…Cuddy looked puzzled … They are married because she needs citizenship. But look how things change."

Cuddy's heart stopped beating for a moment.

…. Ivanna continued to talk but Cuddy was not listening anymore. All she could think right now was House and his fake marriage with that girl. The image of both of them on their "wedding" appeared in front of her eyes. Could it be? Could it be possible? Her entire world turned upside down again.

"She shared how nice he is, the emigration put them through some really hard time, but he supported her. She truly enjoys living with him – for her he seems to be a very funny guy, smart one."

Cuddy caught the few words from Ivanna's last sentence..

The last word that people will use to describe Gregory House was 'nice'. He was everything but 'supportive'. And this was one of the main problems in their relationship – his impossibility to show support when she needed it! Cuddy tried to convince herself that this is her mind playing with her. She promised to herself that she will not think about him – ever again! She chased the thoughts that were messing her head and heart and tried to normalize her breathing. This was just a coincidence. Was it?

"Is everything ok hun?"

"Yes, I'm sorry. Well, your cousin seems to be a lucky woman then."

"Lucky? Oh my, I don't know hun. I wouldn't say that. Would you consider yourself 'lucky' if your guy screams the name of his ex during sex?"

Cuddy was staring with a slightly open mouth unable to process.

"Yeah that's what I thought. Obviously he is still deeply in love with his ex, even though he is not admitting it, I guess. I have only one thing to say – if my cousin can't make a man forget his ex – well his ex is probably one very fine lady ..No not just fine – she should be beyond all beliefs, incredible, because my cousin is a damn hot piece. Young and pretty."

Cuddy just stared blankly and answered:

"It must have been love!" – Cuddy said.

"But it's over now! Or at least that's what my cousin said." Ivanna replayed.

Cuddy looked herself in the mirror – her hair looked gorgeous, manicure and pedicure – done. For the first time from a very long time she picked a nail polish with bright summer color. 'Mint' was the new summer trend, but after all she wasn't that bold in her choice – so 'coral' it was. She was wearing an amazing 'ElieTahari' white suit – three quarter-sleeve jewel-button Jacket and lace skirt.

The only thing that was missing was the smile on her face.

She was lost in thoughts. Again! Why? Why on earth she couldn't escape from her reality for a day. He ruined her home, ruined her life and again he was the object of her thoughts.

She thanked the ladies, paid and left the salon more confused than ever. Cuddy was everything but not naïve, the chance that the hairdresser's cousin was House's 'wife' was anything but slim. In fact Cuddy was almost sure that coincidence like this is almost impossible.

Did he really move on? It was hard to believe that he changed – he proved more than once, his own words, "People don't change".

Cuddy couldn't figure out herself – was she upset because he was living a life that they could have shared together, or was the anger, that he can act like a normal person and have a real relationship with a hooker, but not with her. On the other hand – was she relieved that he will be stuck with her image in his head even being with younger and pretty woman. He was still thinking about her! She was not the only one stuck in the past. He broke her heart, he crushed her dreams, but he was in the same hell, with her.

Later that week Cuddy got a case. Once, she was assigning cases to the other doctors, but now she was the one who needed to solve it. She felt afraid – scared of the possibility to fail. Now was the time to prove to herself and to the rest, who was still not convinced, that she was a good doctor. A team was assigned and she was in charge. Cuddy felt like walking in House's shoes.

Her patient was just a kid, and not any other kid – it was her boss's son – 10 years old.

Cuddy's so to be called team was formed not from any other doctors, but with the best in the hospital. Most of them were young, but with good experience. They were picked because she needed an open-minded people. Regular approach was not working. Tests have shown no leads to his illness. The kid was getting worse. Second day passed and their methods of treatment were ineffective. Cuddy's nerves were so tense. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't even think straight. She even convinced her nanny to take care of Rachel even when she was at home, until things are less strained and the case closed. Cuddy was too distracted and she needed someone to be constantly with Rachel in case she has to run to the hospital in the middle of the night.

Desperately she sent an email with her case to a friend – doctor, despite breaking the confidentiality. One thing she did not consider. She was not the only one knowing her email password.

The boy's health problem was all over the local news, because the Dean of Cuddy's hospital was from a family involved in politics.

House didn't have a case from a few weeks. He needed a distraction. His pain was increasing because he didn't have another object to focus on. He was with his legs spread on one of the hospital beds, his habit to watch TV in patients' rooms was nothing new. He switched to the news channel.

"..And second day the doctors are trying to save the life of a 10 year old boy – but unsuccessfully. So far they have no idea what's the reason for his disease. In charge of the case is Doctor Lisa Cuddy, but so far we were not able to reach her for more details. The family of the boy…"

House turned off the TV.

Later that day in House's apartment.

House knew Cuddy's password for her personal email account but that was not enough.

Right now, whether she can solve the case or not was not as interesting to him as her reaction – dealing with all the eyes that were staring at her. Now she could really see what it means to try to save someone's life while cameras are following your every step. Curiosity was bugging him.

He needed her laptop camera ON! And by 'On' – he really meant it literally.

"So you are willing to spend around a $ 1000 …''

'..Hospital money honey … House interrupted Dominika''

"..And you want me to find a guy who can hack Cuddy's computer?" Dominika said.

"Yeah, why is that so surprising. I mean.. Well it's just because of the case. And you know a guy who knows a guy. If you can find someone for less will be great, offer him a drink with you or something…"

"Right! Just because of the case. Just admit it, you still lo.."

"Hold on, hold on stop right there. My feelings – my business. Just do me that favor without asking so many questions and without throwing statements. Don't you have a cousin, a computer scientist working here as a driver? Come one – do the guy a good, he will be grateful as well. Easy money for him! He will understand my scientific curiosity. It's all because of the science."

Leave your kid to a nanny for 24 hours and you will have a sick kid on the next 24. Rachel caught some nasty flu. It was pretty serious. She was crying for Cuddy constantly. Cuddy was forced to stay at home and keep in touch with her team at the same time, navigating every move and approach, approving each procedure. They were connected through Communication application, similar to Skype, but build only for the staff at the hospital, because the security bridges of the application needed to be better. The confidentiality was important after all and doctors and staff were not allowed to have it on their personal computers, but Cuddy, board members and few more doctors were an exception.

It has been 24 hours since Cuddy laid a head on a pillow. After an enormous attempt from Cuddy to make her take her meds Rachel fell asleep on the couch next to her, hugging a teddy bear. Cuddy was gently caressing her hair. Cuddy needed to stay focused because the next few hours were critical for the boy, and for her job. But the tiredness defeated her. 15 minutes later and Cuddy fell asleep.

House was alone. Dominika was out of town to visit some relatives. House was on a mission – he had a case.

To be continued...