So... I managed to mess up the upload the first time around. Hopefully I fixed it and the entire chapter is there. Gold star for me huh? Anyway, thanks for checking out my story. I truly hope you enjoy!

Shepard sat at the desk once occupied by Thane Krios in the life support room, a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy in one hand, and a red plastic cup in the other. The Normandy was docked into bay D-24 on the Citadel for the next forty eight hours but Shepard couldn't bring herself to enjoy the time 'off'. If you could call gathering resources for the war and returning lost items found during their trek around the galaxy, 'time off'.

After visiting a recovering Ashley Williams at Huerta, she had returned to a mostly empty ship and sought solitude outside of her cabin. After so long, the familiar place would close in on her and she needed somewhere else to clear her mind. Therefore she wandered around the Normandy until finally settling in the small quiet room where Thane had spent most of his time. Before acquiring the alcohol she had meditated for an unknown amount of time then written in her journal trying to find a way to center herself and settle her mind. It didn't work so well so she snuck into the med-bay with a promise to replace it, and took a bottle from Dr. Chakwas' stash.

After the first few swigs, the Commander had debated with herself about hunting down Tali somewhere in the galaxy. She missed her Tinker Bell fiercely and needed the quarian's compassionate ear for these types of moods. Instead of tracking her down, Shepard wrote a quick message to Tali asking about her health and what she was up to. She finished and sent it before her fingers had a chance to blabber her current dilemma.

That was probably an hour ago and now she sat, drink in hand, feeling warm and fuzzy and not as despondent as before. Perhaps she should write Samara too? The older asari had guided her many times during their times pursuing the Collectors. How many times had she sat in the starboard observation deck while Samara meditated or listened as she hummed asari songs while they played human or asari board games?

With her head laying on the cool surface of the table and eyes closed, Shepard began humming one of the asari songs she could recall from memory. She was dulled by the alcohol and didn't hear the door open or the two people shushing one another trying to hear as they entered the small space.

"Commander?" A feminine voice called to her, the distinct English accent giving away Samantha Traynor's presence.

Without opening her eyes or lifting her head she only replied, "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?

"Yes."

A few awkward seconds went by as Traynor and guest stood silently waiting for more of a response from their commanding officer, drawing a groan from Shepard when she realized they would not be leaving her alone. So she opened her eyes and sat up preparing to leave but white and blue armor caught her attention out of the corner of her eye.

Shepard gathered her things, cup and bottle, hurriedly as well as clumsily and without chancing a glance at the pair, tried to walk by and escape to her cabin. She cursed herself for not going there in the first place. The entire awkward situation could have been avoided if she would have just stayed in her damn cabin. As she tried to leave, a hand caught her wrist gently yet firmly pulling her to a stop.

As much as she didn't want to, she looked over her shoulder into concerned blue eyes and immediately wished that the asari had just let her walk on. Her eyes darted to the young communication specialist who had her back turned to them as she set up the chessboard and pieces. Liara's eyes followed hers for a moment before the asari lead her toward the door about five feet away.

"What is wrong Shepard?"

"Nothing," She tried avoiding those clear ocean blue eyes but that only served to make the asari move in closer in an attempt to make eye contact.

"Why won't you look at me?" Liara asked barely above a whisper.

Being so close to Liara, feeling her body heat and breath, was not comforting in the least.

"Sam is waiting for you." The minute space separating them grew smaller as Liara stepped closer. Now face to face, Liara's hand still gripping her wrist, her delicate scent assailing the soldier's senses... It was all making Shepard... uncomfortable... and nauseous.

"Tell me why you are doing this." Liara demanded in a low voice so that Traynor wouldn't hear. "Why have you been avoiding me and only speaking with me regarding the war effort?"

Those questions sparked Shepard's anger. The absolute nerve... This, from the same person who avoided the Commander just under a year ago? She had desperately tried to get Liara to open up to her but all her pleas landed on deaf ears. Liara had simply moved on with her life and during the time they went after the Shadow Broker, Liara had made it clear they would not be rekindling their relationship because of Shepard's transgressions. Yes, Shepard had made a terrible decision a few months ago but after being pushed away for so long what was she to think? How the hell do you transgress against someone who didn't want to be part of your life in that way? And now that Shepard kept herself distant from Liara... it was a problem?

Jacob Taylor was physically the type of man she had dated before Therum. A man with sun kissed skin and warm dark eyes like her father. The body of Adonis incarnate and a deep soothing voice that made her feel warm in certain places. But he, like anyone else in the galaxy, couldn't hold a candle to a young asari maiden that not only challenged Shepard mentally but had somehow become extremely attractive to her despite her heterosexual preferences. So for one night she had chosen to be held and comforted in the arms of someone willing to share their affection before heading through a relay that not one ship outside of the Collector's ship had returned through. A night she called Liara to say goodbye but had to say to the vid messaging system.

Shepard clenched her jaw and looked Liara square in the eye, "Please spare me your false concern. You drew this line between us a while back on Illium. You left me to pick up the pieces of my heart alone while sending me on ridiculous missions around Illium just to keep me away. You decided it best we be friends way before anything ever happened between me and Jacob. You pushed me away once again after I helped you find the Shadow Broker and I pleaded for forgiveness. You never even bothered to visit me after Bahak or even write a damned message. Not to mention you have spent most of your free time with others."

She didn't realize her voice had grown louder until an embarrassed Traynor scurried passed them mumbling about sorting something she'd forgotten until that moment. Shepard paused until the door closed behind the small woman then turned her attention back to the asari whose eyes had flared with anger.

"You, Liara T'Soni, have no right to act like a friend now after what you've done to me. Or lack thereof depending on how you view it."

Liara's anger crested until shimmering blue energy radiated off her form. Her fists balled up by her sides and her frown deepened until she looked reminiscent of an angry Matriarch Benezia.

"What I have done to you?" Liara's voice was low and dangerous but Shepard didn't flinch as they squared off. "What I have done to you, Shepard? I put my life on the line and risked others to bring you back."

Shepard gave the asari a look of incredulity. She couldn't be serious. "Yes, Liara that statement just nullifies everything I said." She sneered as her voice turned hard as steel. In the back of her mind she knew she shouldn't say what she was opening her mouth to say but she did it anyway, "I didn't ask you to bring me back, I didn't want it... and I hate that you did."

The anger that pulsed from Liara quickly deflated. Her face fell and her bottom lip slightly trembled until she drew it between her teeth. Before Shepard turned to leave, she saw the damage she had caused in those very blue eyes. If there had been the slightest chance of getting back together before that last statement... It had been killed by Shepard. It was definitely a low blow voicing her resentment for being brought back alive just because Liara didn't desire the same things that she did anymore. Shepard knew saying that would wound the asari deeply. It was a fear that Liara harbored and confided to Shepard during one of their more civilized talks. After months of isolation and pain, Shepard wanted Liara to hurt as much as she did. Truthfully she really didn't mean it. Liara was the hero that she aspired to be and she never could articulate her gratitude for what was sacrificed to bring her back.

Feeling weighed down and empty inside, Shepard entered the elevator and hit the button for the captain's quarter. Her stomach churned and she swallowed repeatedly to keep from heaving. Leaning back against the wall she took a few steading breaths and leaned her head on the cool steel surface for relief. What was the purpose of all this anger and grief when everyone could be dead tomorrow? As sick as she felt, she took another pull from the bottle of brandy as the thoughts kept streaming through her mind.

The lift finally reached her quarters and she stumbled in to her suite. She needed the bathroom. Shepard splashed cool water on her face and held back the urge to vomit once again. She looked up into the mirror with each hand braced on the sink. Her caramel skin looked pale and her emerald eyes dull. She could see small fissures of orange across her face and the slightest orange glow behind her pupils.

"What a beautiful person you are Shepard. Both inside and out." Shepard sarcastically addressed herself in the mirror. "And you always know the sweetest things to say. Especially to an ex that you are still head over heels for. That's the way to win her back tiger!"

She looked down and shook her head. Shame flooded through the Commander until she felt it was unbearable. She left the bathroom and dropped down on her bed. She'd rather dream about that godforsaken little boy than to deal with the reality of crushing the heart of the one person who meant the most to her.