AUTHOR: Little Miss Violet.
RATING: PG13.
DISCLAIMER: Anything you've seen on the TV doesn't belong to me.
SUMMARY: For three years Cameron had kept something hidden from everyone around her but when things change she finds she can't hide it anymore.
PAIRING: There is no real relationship pairing but quite a few friendship ones.
SPOILERS: All of seasons 1 and 2.
NOTES: I've only seen the first 2 seasons (roll on November) so this takes place at the end of season 2. Also I am English so my terminology is different sorry if that's confusing. Oh and I'm no doctor so I apologise for any mistakes.
1.
Rolling out of bed Cameron moaned softly at the pain caused by the bright sunlight that was creeping in through the gap in her curtains, sitting on the edge of the bed she realised that her vest top was soaked with sweat, reaching up she placed the back of her hand across her forehead which felt warmer than what she considered normal.
Groaning she stepped out of bed and dragged her heavy limbs to the bathroom, opening the cabinet she pulled out an electronic thermometer and closed her eyes as she waited for the beep. Seconds later it beeped forcing her to open her eyes, looking down at the screen she sighed heavily as she threw the thermometer in the sink.
"101.1, low grade fever," she muttered to herself as she took a bottle of Tylenol from the cabinet and downed two of the pills.
Stripping off her vest top and boxers she stepped into the shower, the mixture of the hot water and steam hit her immediately making her feel that maybe she did have enough strength left to get through a full day of House.
Half-an-hour later she stepped out of the shower feeling nearly human. Stepping back into her bedroom she pulled her hair back into a ponytail and threw on a light grey trousers and waistcoat suit with a white fitted shirt.
Grabbing her bag Cameron stopped at her phone, flicking through her phone book she dialled a number that she should have known off by heart given the amount of times she had dialled it.
"Dr. Sherwood it's Allison Cameron I was wondering if it would be possible to drop by before I have to start work?" Cameron asked.
Dr Amanda Sherwood twirled the cord of the phone between her fingers. "I'll fit you in but can I just ask why?"
"I think I need my counts checking," Cameron sighed.
"Ok," Amanda agreed. "But Allison you know that we can only tell so much with a CBC if you think you might be progressing than we'll need to do an aspiration."
Sitting down on the sofa Cameron sighed loudly. "If my CBC gives us cause for concern how quickly can you arrange an aspiration?"
"You can go on the afternoon list," Amanda told her.
"Today?" Cameron checked.
Amanda pulled up the clinic list on her computer. "Yes today. But Allison it could be nothing it could just be side effects of the interferon I mean I know we've kept them well controlled until now but it's not unheard of."
"This is different," Cameron whispered into the phone. "For the past couple of weeks I've been getting increasingly tired, I've had a cold I can't shift and now I'm having night sweats and a low grade fever."
"How low grade?" Amanda asked.
"101.1," Cameron replied.
Amanda pulled out her diary. "You could have an infection."
"Or I could be in the accelerated phase," Cameron suggested, finally voicing what she had been fearing for a while now.
"Let's not jump the gun, listen why don't you come in now and we'll do the blood test, as soon as the results are back I'll ring you and then we can decide where to go from there," Amanda suggested.
Leaning back into the soft cushions of her sofa Cameron closed her eyes. "Ok, I'll see you shortly."
MD-MD-MD
45 minutes and 2 red lights later Cameron found herself sitting opposite her doctor of 2 and a half years.
"You're taking the blood yourself?" Cameron asked.
"The clinic nurse isn't on yet," Amanda replied as she tightened the tourniquet, cleaned the area, inserted the needle and filled 3 vials with Cameron's blood.
Cameron didn't even wince as the needle pierced her skin, to her this was nothing compared to what she was used to. "How long until I get the results?"
"It should be a few hours, I'll ring you as soon as I get them," Amanda reassured her.
Cameron nodded, smiling gently. "Thanks Dr. Sherwood."
"I've told you before; call me Amanda," she told the younger doctor.
"Sorry. Amanda," Cameron smiled.
"And Allison?" Amanda called as Cameron stopped in the doorway and turned to face her. "I know it's probably no use me even suggesting it because I know what you'll say but I really think you should tell someone, if you are progressing-"
Shaking her head Cameron played nervously with the strap of her bag. "That's a bridge I'll cross when I come to it."
MD-MD-MD
Sitting down at the table Cameron tried to stop her leg from shaking but the mixture of nerves and fear was heavily compromising her ability to concentrate.
"Dr. Cameron are you with us?" House asked as he spotted the young immunologists distracted state.
Cameron nodded. "Of course."
"So differential people?" House asked as he turned his attention back to the whiteboard.
"It could be Kawasaki," Chase suggested.
House drew a line between the symptoms on the whiteboard. "It fits 8 out of 9, get an EKG, the alopecia could be a red herring."
She was about to suggest something else when Cameron was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. "I'm … I'm sorry I have to take this."
Not waiting for anyone to protest Cameron stepped outside of the office, looking at the screen she took a deep breath before answering the phone "Dr … Amanda?"
"Listen we both know why I called so I'll get straight to the results, your red blood cells and platelets have dropped considerably since your last CBC and you're white count is through the roof," Amanda explained.
"How high?" Cameron asked trying to stop her voice from shaking.
Amanda looked down at the lab results in her hand. "120,000 which is up-"
"95,000 from my last CBC," Cameron completed for her. "So what time do you want me in for the aspiration?" she asked.
"The clinic starts at 1, and I can fit you in anytime between then and 3," Amanda told her.
Staring through the glass door Cameron looked at the clock. "I'll be there in half-an-hour."
Hanging up the phone Cameron re-entered the office. "I've got to go out for the afternoon," she announced picking her bag up off of the chair.
"Ok I'll tell the parents that they'll have to ask their 9-year-old to hold off dying until tomorrow because you have to go out for the afternoon," House told her.
"I'm sorry," Cameron mumbled and with that she left before anyone else had the chance to say anything, leaving a confused House, Chase and Foreman to run the differential alone.
MD-MD-MD
Laying on the table Cameron closed her eyes, almost silently she ran through the periodic table alphabetically to try and distract herself from the pain, knowing from past experience that even with the local anaesthetic it would still hurt.
"I'm inserting the needle now," Amanda told her as Cameron felt the pain that came with the aspiration.
Grinding her teeth together Cameron only got as far as C before the procedure was over. "I swear this gets more painful each time."
"And there was me thinking my technique was getting better," Amanda chuckled.
Sitting up Cameron winced at the pain in her hip. "How long?"
"Hopefully by the close of clinic today," Amanda told her as she handed her a pot with two tablets in it.
"What's this?" Cameron asked as she stood up, trying not to let her face show just how much discomfort she was in.
Amanda watched as she tried to put a brave face on it. "It's pain relief."
"I need a clear head," Cameron said as she put the pot on the side.
"It's not anything too strong, you'll still have a clear enough head to drive home, not that I recommend driving but I know from last time that you'll just ignore my recommendations anyway," Amanda sighed. "So please just take the meds, you'll need them to get through the rest of the day at work."
"I-"
Amanda shook her head and smiled. "You didn't have to tell me, after over 2 years I know you pretty well."
"Will you-"
"I'll ring you with the results," Amanda assured her.
Cameron nodded, taking the pot back from the table she headed out into the waiting room, reaching the water cooler she filled a glass with water and gulped down the pills. Closing her eyes she took a few deep breaths before heading back out to the car and back to work.
MD-MD-MD
It had been 14 minutes and 13 seconds since the last time Cameron had looked at her watch and it had been the 14th time that Foreman had observed her checking the time since she returned over 3 hours ago.
"Waiting for someone?" Foreman asked.
Cameron chook her head.
"Then you're waiting for something," Foreman concluded.
Sitting down on one of the chairs Cameron leaned her head against the cool surface in the lab. "Something like that."
"Look if you-"
"I don't need to talk," Cameron snapped.
Foreman sat down next to her, not letting her uncharacteristically moody behaviour put him off. "Cameron-"
Foreman stopped as Cameron's cell phone started to ring, reaching into the pocket of her lab coat she took her phone out, standing up she turned to Foreman. "I should really take this."
As he watched her walk away Foreman couldn't help but fear that there was something wrong with the only female member of the team, but what that something was he didn't have the slightest idea.
Reaching the privacy of a store room Cameron held the phone to her ear. "Sorry about that I had to find somewhere private."
"That's alright," Amanda told her.
Cameron could hear something different in the doctor's tone. "I'm in the accelerated phase aren't I?"
"I'm afraid the biopsy showed 45 blasts which means-"
"I've gone straight to the blast phase," Cameron concluded.
Amanda nodded, looking down at the results in her hand. "I'm sorry. I would like to admit you so we can do an ultrasound with such a fast progressing you could be having a blast crisis, you have a fever-"
"Low grade," Cameron reminded her.
"You said you've been getting increasingly tired," Amanda continued. "So I need to check that you're spleen isn't dangerously enlarged, have you had any pain? Discomfort?"
Cameron slid down to the floor leaning heavily against the wall. "No, no symptoms."
"I still want to admit you," Amanda told her.
"I … there's a few things I need to do first but I'll get there as soon as I can," Cameron assured her.
Putting the results down on the table Amanda leaned back in her chair. "I'll have the nurses page me when you arrive, come to the 5th floor ward."
"Right," Cameron sighed as she closed her phone and tiredly rubbed her eyes.
MD-MD-MD
James Wilson looked up from the stack of charts in front of him to find Allison Cameron leaning heavily on his doorframe.
"Dr. Cameron er … is there something I can help you with?" Wilson asked.
Cameron took a step into the office. "I was wondering if you had a minute?"
"Sure," Wilson replied waiting for Cameron to sit down in the chair opposite him.
Cameron sat down, she could feel her leg shaking but there was nothing she could do to stop it, she could also tell by the way her skin tingled and the fact she could feel her heart racing that her fever was no longer a low grade.
"Is this about your patient-"
Shaking her head Cameron clasped her hands together in her lap. "No that was… she had Kawasaki."
"Then what can I help you with?" Wilson asked taking in her worrying appearance, her face was paler than usual and her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were glassy like she had a fever and her hands were shaking, something that she seemed unaware of.
"I-"
Wilson watched as she struggled to find the words. "Whatever you say to me in these 4 walls in confidential."
"Even from House?" Cameron asked.
"Even from House," Wilson reassured her with a smile.
Cameron looked down a her hands only to find they were shaking. "I … a few months before I started here I had a medical and it showed that I have … I was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukaemia."
Wilson was shocked, for years he had lived oncology and the fact that someone he had worked alongside had leukaemia and he had not even suspected that there was anything wrong made him question his ability. "I had no idea you look so well."
"And I have been, for the past 2 years it's been controlled by interferon and my blast cell count has stayed below 8 and my side effects have been well controlled other than the injections, routine tests and medications I've been taking to counteract the side effects I've been fine, with the exception of a couple of rough patches," Cameron explained.
Wilson was an expert at reading between the lines and he immediately figured out what she wasn't saying from what she was saying. "But that's not the case anymore?"
Cameron shook her head. "No."
"You've gone from the chronic phase to the accelerated phase?" Wilson asked.
"No," Cameron smiled sadly. "That would be the better case scenario, I seem to have skipped the accelerated phase and gone straight to the blast phase."
Being an oncologist Wilson knew the dangers with that. "What was your blast percentage?"
"45," Cameron told him.
"And your white cell count?" Wilson asked.
Closing her eyes Cameron leaned back into the chair. "120,000," Cameron yawned.
"And how high is your fever?" Wilson asked.
Cameron shrugged. "I'm not sure, this morning it was 101.1."
Standing up Wilson walked over to his shelf, opening a folder he pulled out a single use thermometer.
"You keep thermometers in your office?" Cameron asked with a smile.
Wilson sat down on the chair net to her. "They were a free sample from a drug rep. Now open up."
Obediently Cameron opened her mouth as Wilson placed the thermometer under her tongue, closing her mouth she watched as Wilson took hold of her wrist and checked her pulse.
"Do you have the Philadelphia chromosome?" Wilson asked.
Cameron nodded.
Putting her wrist down Wilson took the thermometer out of her mouth. "You have a temperature of 103.2, you're tachycardic and the shaking of your hands could actually be shivering. 2 out of 3 says you're at risk of a blast crisis and seeing as you're blast count is above 30 I think you should have an ultrasound so we can look at your spleen."
"We?" Cameron asked.
"I'm an oncologist, I mean that is why you came to me isn't it?" Wilson asked.
Cameron shook her head. "I have an oncologist."
"Who?" Wilson asked.
"Amanda Sherwood," Cameron replied.
Wilson nodded, he knew her professionally. "She's good and Sloan Kettering is one of the best. So why did you come to me?"
"I wanted some advice?" Cameron admitted.
"On what?" Wilson questioned.
Cameron closer her eyes, to try and stop the gentle pounding that was starting to build up behind her temples. "I know the available treatments, I've been keeping on top of the most current research ever since I was diagnosed I was just … I wanted to know which course of action you think is best?"
"Well my first suggestion would be to admit you to the hospital, we need to manage the crisis and then treat your infection plus I would place money on you needing a blood transfusion, your platelet count is probably low too seeing as your bone marrow is crammed with so many white blood cells," Wilson deduced.
Cameron nodded. "That's what Amanda said, but before I check into the hospital I want to know what you think is my best long term bet?"
"High dose chemotherapy followed by a stem cell transplant," Wilson said.
"I thought as much," Cameron sighed. "Now I'm in the blast phase my chances still aren't all that good are they?"
Wilson hated questions like this but coming from someone he knew made it even worse. "Now you're in the blast phase it needs to be treated like an acute leukaemia, the chances of remission without a bone marrow transplant are poor and the chances of relapse after a bone marrow transplant are-"
"High," Cameron sighed.
"I'm sorry," Wilson told her.
Cameron leaned her head in her hands. "So am I."
"Do you want me to take you to Sloan Kettering?" Wilson asked.
Cameron lifted her head up and shook her head. "No but thank you."
"I'm not taking no for an answer," Wilson told her.
"I have my car I can drive myself," Cameron reassured him.
Wilson shook his head. "You also have a high white cell count, a low platelet count, low red blood cell count, raging fever and possibly an enlarged spleen any bumps and you could bleed out."
"I'm not planning on crashing my car," Cameron told him. "I plan to fight this not look for an easy way out."
"I didn't-"
"I know but I can still drive myself," Cameron insisted.
Wilson stood up, grabbed his coat off the back of the door and picked up his case and keys. "Maybe so but someone should be with you and I'm guessing no one else knows so that someone will have to be me."
"Ok," Cameron relented knowing that she was fighting a losing battle.
Standing up Cameron didn't protest when Wilson put his hand on her waist and led her out of the hospital. As she climbed into the front passenger's seat of his car Cameron closed her eyes, she was starting to feel the effects of her high temperature and low red cell count now the initial rush of adrenaline had subsided.
"Are you alright?" Wilson asked.
Feeling too tired to lie Cameron shook her head. "No I think I need a top up."
"Top up?" Wilson asked.
"Yeah, a nice unit of red blood cells sounds like it might do the job," Cameron yawned, as she wound the window down to try and ease the burning of her skin.
Wilson turned to Cameron. "Something I've been wondering; you're blood was tested regularly after Foreman stabbed you with the needle how come no abnormalities showed up then?"
"Because I did all the tests," Cameron told him.
"What about after the HIV scare?" Wilson questioned.
Cameron closed her eyes as the cool air started to ease the burning sensation caused by her high fever. "House only took a saliva sample, it wasn't a blood test."
"Why haven't you told anyone?" Wilson asked.
"Because everyone treats you differently, I wouldn't be able to sneeze without being sent home and as soon as I figured out about House's boundary issues I made sure that all my medical records were put in my married name that way if he decided to pull them he would only get my pre-marriage records," Cameron told him.
Wilson couldn't help but smile at her savvy. "Nice pre-emptive strike."
"And a needed one seeing as how House pulled my medical records," Cameron told him.
"Ass," Wilson muttered.
Cameron couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I know."
"Cameron-"
"Nobody finds out about this," Cameron insisted. "Foreman got sick and people treat him differently even though he's better, House got shot and he's well he's House and Chase … well I just don't want anyone finding out, I can deal with this alone."
Wilson hated to think of her going through all of this alone. "What about your family?"
"I don't want to talk, not anymore," Cameron told him as she closed her eyes again to try and ease the growing pounding in her head, she had a big enough fight ahead of her without having to worry about the reactions of everyone else.
