Sans la lumière du soleil
.Without Sunlight.
by blackraven23
Si le soleil aime la lune, malheureusement, tout du monde aurait été sans la lumière du soleil. Alors, vous devez aime la lune et le soleil plus que un pourrait avoir aimé l'autre, s'il vous plaît.
Uchiha Sasuke hasn't seen the sun rise in a very long time. In fact, he hasn't seen the sun either. For years now he has lived underground, ensconced in training, mentally and physically, for the fight against his brother he knows he may lose no matter what preparations he made. But he must do something to keep his mind occupied, keep his body occupied, something that makes his bones ache and his skin throb as the blood underneath burns with exertion—all so he may sleep dreamlessly. Orochimaru won't let Sasuke leave the underground compound, and there are no clocks or records of time. Sasuke can honestly say he doesn't know how long he's been under the earth.
At first he couldn't get used to it. Growing up in the Fire Country in a city surrounded by leafy forests, the outside was part of him, part of his routine. Being a ninja meant even more time spent in the open—training, doing missions, and traveling. He had practiced in every sort of weather—wind, rain, hail, sleet, snow; extreme heat and extreme cold. So being forced underground in stuffy, earthy-smelling rooms without windows was strange to him. He feels suffocated, claustrophobic, always.
All of the light down here is artificial. Even in the large caves where he trains running up and down the stalagmites, jumping from rocky walls to gravelly floors, are lit via candles or jutsus. His teeth ache as he clenches his jaw and wishes to see the sun. Without it, things start to lose meaning, definition. Only the sharp edge of the kunai keeps its shape, its cold weight reassuring in his hand. Occasionally Orochimaru will force him to practice without light, to improve his other senses, yet to be in a world without light frightens him. He thinks about what would happen if the compound suddenly went dark. He would never find his way out. He never has.
But he's used to it, to willing away the pain and fear that rise up as the darkness does. Used to closing his eyes and not seeing what he doesn't want to see, used to dodging unexpected obstacles and improvising if he has to. That's what being a genius is all about, he thinks. But sometimes he isn't so sure it's enough.
Sometimes when he closes his eyes to the world's problems, he remembers things better left untouched. The constant darkness only feeds his lingering memories. And when he can't fall asleep despite his overwhelming exhaustion, pictures play a slide-show through his head that he can't seem to put on pause. These things make him feel, something he hasn't seem to have done in years. He can't remember the last time he smiled for real, the last time he laughed. These memories he can't reach even when he wants to—they slip away like water through his fingers.
He reasons that it had to be with Naruto, in Konoha. But vagueness permeates his happy memories, blurs them past immediate recognition, and, sometimes, reason isn't enough to buoy him over. Only Naruto's name keeps its definition. When he tries to picture his ex-best friend, all he can see is a shock of golden hair and blue eyes. He searches his memories for Naruto's voice, but all he can hear is his own, Itachi's, and silence. Naruto, Naruto. Shaping the characters in his mind, he holds them close to his heart, a reassurance. Naruto said he would come get Sasuke in the end. He said that he would bring Sasuke back. And Naruto always keeps his promises.
Sasuke holds onto these thin bonds tightly, wishing he could cut them, but realizing he cannot. To be without this reassurance that Naruto will eventually come to save him is unimaginable. He only came this far knowing that someone is waiting for him somewhere else. Someplace that feels untouched by this tragedy which forces him forward against his will. Someplace where the sun rises every morning. So, like a sunrise, Sasuke thinks of Naruto when he wakes from his sleep, even if it isn't morning. And the face of Naruto gets vaguer and blurrier every day, fading from memory as Sasuke tries harder to grasp it.
But one day Naruto does come. That is the day that Sasuke is finally allowed to go outside. His pale, milky skin seems almost blue in the golden light as the sun frames his form, warming his back as he stares down at Naruto. He sketches the face of his best friend into his mind again. Today he has seen the sun, has seen Naruto. Though he knows it will all fade into night, he is reassured to know that it is still there.
Oui, moi francais est tres mal. Mais, c'est tres amusant. Je suis un étudiant.
