I don't own Max.


Max: Oh look, Fang, she has your eyes!

Fang: She just shut her eyes.

Max: Ha. She likes to tease her daddy... like me.

Fang: What are we naming her?

Max: How about Lissa?

Fang: (splutters)

Max: I was joking. How about Fern?

Fang: That's a plant.

Max: And you're a tooth. How about Pearl?

Fang: I actually like it.

Max: Well on second thought, we can always name her Bunny.

Fang: ... That is not funny.


(At home with the baby, one o'clock in the morning)

Pearl: Waahh!!!

Max: (rolls over) Fang, your kid is crying.

Fang: What do you mean my kid? She's probably hungry, right?

Max: Thanks. (Rolls out of bed and leaves room. Fang falls asleep)


(Lunch – two years later.)

Pearl: (flings baby food mush across room) Nuh-uh.

Fang: Pleeease?

Pearl: (scowls)

Max: Wow, Fang, she's perfected your technique.

Fang: (scowls) You wanna feed her?

Max: Nope, I'm going to visit Angel for three hours and I'm leaving you alone with Pearl.

Fang: What?!!

Max: Not really. We're taking Pearl to the zoo.

Fang: Oh, good...


Fang: (wearily and in shock) I had no idea two year olds could do that.

Max: (same as Fang) Yeah. I mean, how did she find the employee's entrance in the first place, anyway?

Pearl: (claps hands happily) Lion!

Fang: (looks over at Pearl) Pearl, you're in trouble.

Pearl: (lip sticks out, looks sad and about to cry) Trouble?

Max: Yes, Pearl. You're not supposed to let lions loose at the zoo. And if we hadn't flown up with you, you could have been eaten by the lions.

Pearl: (bursts into tears) Waah!!!

Fang: (sighs and gets up off chair) Come here, Pearl. I'll put her in bed, Max.

Max: (still in shock a little bit) Yeah, okay.

(Fang leaves with Pearl)

Max: Five lions... Help me. What'll it be like when she's three or four?

End.