I don't own Max.
Max: Oh look, Fang, she has your eyes!
Fang: She just shut her eyes.
Max: Ha. She likes to tease her daddy... like me.
Fang: What are we naming her?
Max: How about Lissa?
Fang: (splutters)
Max: I was joking. How about Fern?
Fang: That's a plant.
Max: And you're a tooth. How about Pearl?
Fang: I actually like it.
Max: Well on second thought, we can always name her Bunny.
Fang: ... That is not funny.
(At home with the baby, one o'clock in the morning)
Pearl: Waahh!!!
Max: (rolls over) Fang, your kid is crying.
Fang: What do you mean my kid? She's probably hungry, right?
Max: Thanks. (Rolls out of bed and leaves room. Fang falls asleep)
(Lunch – two years later.)
Pearl: (flings baby food mush across room) Nuh-uh.
Fang: Pleeease?
Pearl: (scowls)
Max: Wow, Fang, she's perfected your technique.
Fang: (scowls) You wanna feed her?
Max: Nope, I'm going to visit Angel for three hours and I'm leaving you alone with Pearl.
Fang: What?!!
Max: Not really. We're taking Pearl to the zoo.
Fang: Oh, good...
Fang: (wearily and in shock) I had no idea two year olds could do that.
Max: (same as Fang) Yeah. I mean, how did she find the employee's entrance in the first place, anyway?
Pearl: (claps hands happily) Lion!
Fang: (looks over at Pearl) Pearl, you're in trouble.
Pearl: (lip sticks out, looks sad and about to cry) Trouble?
Max: Yes, Pearl. You're not supposed to let lions loose at the zoo. And if we hadn't flown up with you, you could have been eaten by the lions.
Pearl: (bursts into tears) Waah!!!
Fang: (sighs and gets up off chair) Come here, Pearl. I'll put her in bed, Max.
Max: (still in shock a little bit) Yeah, okay.
(Fang leaves with Pearl)
Max: Five lions... Help me. What'll it be like when she's three or four?
End.
