Debaser presents
Sub-Zero – Office Custodian
Sub-Zero narrowly dodged the head of the spear as it whizzed past his head. His eyes glowed a baby blue as he carefully studied his opponent. Scorpion, dressed in his traditional Lin Kuei garment, laughed at his opponent as he willed the spear back to him. The specter stared at him with cold, white eyes as he began to strafe to his left.
The Lin Kuei master eyed Scorpion carefully as he began strafing in the same manner. The attack was coming, and it would not give any warning. Again Scorpion threw the spear out, but Sub-Zero skillfully rolled underneath it as the spear sailed out into the void. The Lin Kuei quickly summoned the ancient power of his people into the palm of his hand The very climate in the air began to gather into a ball under his command, and Sub-Zero threw the freezing ball of energy directly into Scorpion's chest. The specter froze solid where he stood with a look of disbelief and panic in his eyes. Sub-Zero stepped forward without emotion and grabbed his frozen opponent by the throat.
"Sub-Zero!" Scorpion's voice growled out and echoed all throughout the void.
With a slight twist, Scorpion's frozen head easily separated from the rest of his body. Blood began to cascade down from the severed head that Sub-Zero now held in his hands.
"Sub-Zero!"
"Hey, Sub-Zero! I'm talking to you!"
"Err, what?!" Sub-Zero said with a startled expression. Reality quickly flowed back into him as he looked around and saw the large office before him. Many blue walls filled the room to form cubicles, and two perfectly clean rows of windows were adjacent of the two walls in the room. The plants that occupied the corners of the room were also looking rather splendid as if an experienced gardener had watered them carefully and properly.
"There's been a spill on the fourth floor that we need you to take care of," a rather large man with a slicked back hairstyle informed him. The man sported a sleazy moustache and a tacky, white button up shirt with a red tie. The brown belt he wore around his black pants looked rather strained, and his black shoes could definitely use a shining. His short, brown hair looked like it had been gelled to hold for a century, and his brown eyes were beady and unfriendly. He looked to be in his late forties, and his voice was commanding. "What did I hire you for? Your looks? Let's get to work."
"Right, Paul," Sub-Zero muttered as he walked toward the room's exit.
"Oh, and could you please do something about the ninja suit, there Subby? This aint China, and I aint amused by your little costume party. You make me wonder what I saw in you," Paul spat as he turned and made his way through the rows of cubicles. Sub-Zero sighed.
There was no Shao Kahn afterall, so go to America, they said. Make a good living instead of living like your father, they said. Find a nice girl, settle down – be a dad. Sub-Zero was starting to believe that his family was completely insane. He could have been a master warrior back in China, but instead he came to America for this? Sub-Zero let out another long sigh as he grabbed his mop bucket and mop and made his way to the elevator.
The mess downstairs was truly amazing. It looked as though someone had spilled an entire party bowl of gelatin and decided to roll around in it. The sticky dessert clung to the tile floor's grout as if to mock Sub-Zero. He would be much happier to play stupid and forget he was ever told about the mess, but he had to admit that this was the easiest part of the job thus far.
As Sub-Zero reached for his mop, a man in black pants with a white button-up shirt and a blue tie stopped and stared at him. The man adjusted his thick glasses and scratched his head, ruffling his unkempt black hair. "Are you…a new guy? Are you a ninja?" he gasped.
"Well I…"
"Because you're sure dressed like one! Oh man, I used to dress up as a ninja every year for Halloween! Ninjas are some cool! I used to imagine that I was a ninja turtle when I was a kid. You remember the Teeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, don't you? I mean you're a ninja afterall. And I made sure to watch American Ninja every chance I got, and …"
"Okay. I understand," Sub-Zero cut in.
"But then I got hooked on a video game called Ninja Gaiden! The main character's name was Ryu. Is there really any ninjas named Ryu? Ryu would make a great ninja name! I mean there's Ryu from Street Fighter, but I'm not really sure if you could call him a ninja – he's more of a karate guy. And I always begged my mom for a katana so I could be more like a ninja, and …"
The man was cut short as Sub-Zero threw a tiny ball of freeze energy into his chest and froze him in place. "I would rather fight a thousand tarkatans with an arm missing than listen to any more of your dribel!" Sub-Zero shouted in anger as he dipped his mom into the water and wrung it out. He threw the soppy mop onto the gelatin mess and began to clean it up.
Everyone had told Sub-Zere that he'd be perfect for this job because he was so good with water. So exactly how does 'being able to freeze things' translate to 'good with water?' He shook his head as he vigorously rubbed the mop in an extra messy spot to get the gelatin up. It then struck him that he wasn't even on the same floor as the cafeteria. He stopped in his tracks and shook with rage. His muscles bulged with intensity, and he threw the mop to the ground. "Eating outside of the cafeteria is conduct violation! I shall have my revenge!"
--
As Sub-Zero made his way back up to the sixth floor via the elevator, he was surprised and thoroughly sickened to find Paul was standing in the walkway awaiting his return. His boss eyed him questioningly as Sub-Zero approached with his mop and bucket by his side.
"So, did you get the mess clean?" Paul asked in a condescending tone as he stared a hole through Sub-Zero's skull.
"Yes, master. The gelatin is gone," Sub-Zero replied.
"I've told you a thousand times, you circus freak, I'm not your master! I'm your boss. It's a damn good thing you got that clean too. I thought that mess was never going to come out. I guess I've learned not to make a mad dash while holding that big of a mold, right pal?" Paul said to Sub-Zero with a laugh.
Sub-Zero's eyes flashed baby blue as the rage began to build inside of him. It was the boss, the man who knew the rules better than anyone, who had violated floor rules. It was at that precise moment that Sub-Zero realized he had met his mortal enemy. He would one day have his revenge, and it would be sweeter than any gelatin mold.
"Anyway, just keep it down and don't freak everyone the hell out with your little ninja suit there. I'm gonna be busy all day with the servers overheating and going berserk," Paul informed his employee. He then turned and walked out of the hallway. Sub-Zero took a moment to let the information he had been given to sink in. Something overheating? It sounds like an easy enough fix. Maybe there was room for a promotion afterall.
