It was three years ago. I was only nineteen at the time, and I was, god, I was so low. It was rock bottom for me. I had no place to live, nothing to eat. I was so fucked up all the time; high as a kite on pretty much anything I could get my hands on. I was a perfect wreck.
And, if I remember correctly, there was one night in, oh god; I had no idea what month it was, year or even time. All those ideas and perceptions were out the window, right with my sanity. All that really mattered was my next fix and where it was coming from.
It was nighttime, and of course it was raining. It was hot, so I think it was summer, and a group of us lowlifes were in need of a fix. Badly. I remember thinking about this apartment complex near our alley and getting the bright idea to go rob someone.
The boys all thought it was the best idea ever.
Yeah! Lets do it! or Damn Bill, when did you get so fuckin smart? was all they said, No second thoughts, no regrets. You learn to live without these on the streets.
So, with enough Crank in our systems to bring down a small hoard of buffalo, we stated off down the street, whooping and hollering and jittering like idiots. We shushed each other and giggled, creeping up the stairs of the fire escape. We passed a room that had an open window.
Guys! Th-this ones open! I slurred. They snickered and crawled in.
We expected to get the stuff, whatever it was, get out, sell it and get high. What we, rather I, did not expect, was the six-foot something Tunisian man with a wooden bat by his bead and a scowl on his face.
THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN? he roared.
Shit, (chuckle) I think the guys just about shit themselves and bolted for the window. I tried to run too, but, of course, the selfishness of a drug addict does not allow chivalry. It only allows for self-survival. If little Jimmys sitting in the middle of the street and you are too, and a truck comes your way, you dont grab Jimmy; you use him to pull yourself up and bolt.
So I was shoved back, used as leverage to get them out of the window. Before I could get to it, he was there. He slammed it shut and shoved me onto the ground.
Where are you goin? HUH?
Shit, I was so scared. I sobered up a little then. I got on my knees and begged him. I begged him so hard not to send me to jail. I bargained with him and pleaded. Sigh. No such luck. I was his prisoner.
Well, I didnt know what was wrong with this man. He didnt call the cops; he didnt beat the shit out of me. Actually, he saw me there on the floor begging him to let me go, so I guess I must have looked so pitiful, because he grabbed me by my arm and took me to his bathroom.
Hurry up and shower. He said, and just left me there. I was sober by now and freaking the fuck out. God. I still get shivers.
I did as he said, almost crying when I spilled half his bottle of soap. But when he came to get me he just shrugged and ignored it.
I followed him back to his bedroom, stark naked and cold. I think he wanted to slap me for being so stupid and not bringing the towel he gave me, but he just tossed a pair of sweatpants and a giant t-shirt at me.
Sigh, I wasbeside myself doesnt even cut it. I was so touched it hurt. How the hell could anyone be so nice to a crack-head teenager who broke into his or her house at whatever ungodly hour?
I started crying, and sobbed all while I was putting the clothes on. He just stared at me with this blank face, like he was watching some animal. I felt so ashamed. I was wretched, some filthy thing that hell decided to orphan on the earth.
But, I dont thinkNo, Im sure he didnt see it that way. No, he saw something in me. Either that or he was the biggest fool in the world.
