Author's Note: First of all, I would like to thank you to choose to read this story. This fic will be actually composed of various oneshots of happenings in the Shinigami office. I always found it very fascinating (and kind of funny) how the Shinigami in Kuroshitsuji behave as a sort of dysfunctional corporation. But regarding the story, there will be various OCs, mostly to support the action, but it will be mostly focused on a manga shinigami. All right, I think that's enough, now, the first one!

Oh, and I almost forgot this:

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Kuroshitsuji (I know, it's awful)


Tales of the Office

Field Work


William Spears hated field work. He really HATED it. The people, the need to blend in, the soul-sucker demons he encountered, EVERYTHING. And he was on the management level, for God's sake. Or Shinigami's sake, or something else.

He was preparing to leave his corner office when one of his subordinates burst through the door.

"Mr. Spears, there were some uh… problems with your uh, Death Scythe…"

"WHAT happened?"

"That guy from Maintenance, he uh… sort of wrecked it…"

And so, William found himself in Downtown London, armed with his ultra-amazing and powerful SAFETY SCISSORS OF DEATH. Another reason to hate field work. It didn't help much that he was supposed to kill an important businessman, so paranoid of death he isolated himself inside his compound in London. And since he wasn't allowed to reap any other souls but his, it meant he had to sneak inside a heavily guarded compound, armed with just a pair of scissors. Just great.

Sure, he had all those amazing Shinigami powers, but he HAD to sneak unseen inside the compound, not to affect the lives of the guards (that also meant he couldn't stun them). He was thinking of all the ways he could accomplish that when he found himself in the front gate. He analyzed the place, and found a place where he could sneak in through the west side. But as soon as he found himself inside, a guard came up to him and said:

"Hey, you shouldn't be here! Leave now!"

"Just great", William thought, "you know what? To HELL WITH IT!"

Ten minutes, over 37 illegal reapings, copious amounts of blood and a ruined suit later, William found himself in the same room as his target.

"Earl Richard Gatwick, you have the right to… DIE! MWHAHAHAHAHA!"

After five minutes of maniacal laughter, William reaped the Earl and returned to the Shinigami Corp. Head Office. He sat down on his leather chair, leaned back for a while and then got to work on his report and "reflection sheet", seriously, what a joke. He already reaped various souls illegally, so why not risk a little more?

"Today I learned that sometimes, reaping humans NOT on the list feels REALLY GOOD. Reaping humans in general feels REALLY GOOD. And if you disagree, bite me b****! (the next parts are too indecent to be shown)."


"William T. Spears, please report to the Personnel Department."

William hurriedly walked to the wing where the Personnel Department was located. Seriously, what was he thinking? Reaping over 30 illegal souls? And insulting the CEO AND the Board of Directors, as well as making various threats to the CFO's mother? Man, he was boned.

"Mr. Spears," said the Shinigami Corp. Personnel Director, a rather chubby man that went by the name Charles Spencer, "it seems to me that you have gone berserk the other day, and apparently reaped, let's see… forty-one illegal souls, care to elaborate on that?"

"I… I am really, REALLY sorry, I just don't know what came over me-" William started.

"This report here also says you insulted over half the staff of this company, including our CEO, which you called a "no-good curry muncher", our COO, a "honky redneck cracker", and even the CLO, who is apparently your personal friend, a "motherf*****ing son-of-a-b****". Would you care to elaborate on that too?"

"It's just that, I was so pumped after doing all those things, I just had no control of my actions. Didn't YOU ever do something like that?"

"Well, once I DID kill over four hundred civilians in that building collapse-"

"See? We all have our demons sometimes. Couldn't you PLEASE forgive this transgression?"

"Well, I guess I can. Just refrain from killing more civilians in the future, allright?"

"Okay."


"And that is how I got away with killing forty-one innocents." William declared, with a proud huff.

"Oh yeah? I got away with killing FIFTY innocents!"

That sure was a fun employee outing.


Author's note: WOO! The first story is done! Until next time. Have a good one now.