A/N- Another attempt at Modern AU fiction by me. Playdate is still very much ongoing, I am planning where I am taking that in great detail at the moment, but this idea has always been in my mind and it was briefly alluded to in my one shot, Off Limits. I had a devil of a time wondering where to take that and after weeks of thinking, this is the result. I'm not saying this will lead directly onto that one shot, but the idea of John and Anna being with other people whilst being in love with each other is one that has always intrigued me.

I think I've worried too much about their ages, but have decided to go with the ages of the actors who play them in Downton- that's a 17 year age gap if I have their date of birth's correct. I got two different years for Joanne Froggatt's, so went with the one that came up most often.

I've decided to take it the route that John and Anna were together once, then broke up for reasons which will become clearer as the story unfolds but in the time apart their lives and circumstances have changed. It uses flashbacks, which I know have become quite common in some wonderful stories on here recently. I just hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes with my efforts here. If you enjoy, please do review. Your comments on my stories and follows, in particular for Playdate have been most appreciated, thank you.

We'll start with a little taster…

Disclaimer- Downton belongs to Julian Fellowes/ Carnival/ ITV


2001

Anna groaned appreciatively as she sat on what seemed like the only empty stool in the whole club, next to the bar. Heels had seemed like a good idea at seven that evening, but now as the clock ticked to half past eleven, she was questioning the decision. Her two best friends, Gwen and Daisy had been keen to give her a twenty first birthday to remember. However, despite the amount of alcohol they had consumed, she wasn't sure they would remember much of it.

'This has been a great night,' Gwen enthused as she stood beside her friend. Only being in their early twenties, their experience of great nights out wasn't the most extensive, but Anna had to agree she wouldn't have rather spent her birthday any other way.

'Oh, I love this song.' It felt like Daisy had said that about every single song she had heard this evening, as the beats of Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie filled the club. Anna rolled her eyes, shaking her head as her friend began to move to the music. In the next moment, Daisy was taking Anna's and Gwen's hands in hers. 'Come on girls, lets get to the floor, shall we?'

'You two go,' Anna insisted, looking behind her to see the barman quite close. 'I'll buy a round, seeing as you two have bought every other one tonight.'

'Only if you're sure,' Daisy exclaimed, dragging Gwen towards the crowd of enthusiastic revellers gathered by the DJ box.

Laughing as she watched her friends lose themselves in the music, Anna turned around on her stool and concentrated on the task in hand. After reaching into her bag for her purse, Anna looked up and it was then that it happened. Standing a couple of people down from her, she was met with the most gorgeous, deep brown eyes she had ever witnessed. The man who they belonged to was smirking in Anna's direction, a gesture which caused her stomach to flutter. She felt warm under his intense stare, although Anna couldn't bear to look away. He was some years older than her, that was clear. Late thirties perhaps but that didn't seem to matter. His smile was intoxicating. Then suddenly, he was gone and Anna shook herself back to the present. The barman was standing directly in front of her now, trying to garner her attention.

'What can I get you?'

He had to get to her, to hear her voice. As soon as John had laid eyes on the young, blonde woman, he had been intrigued. Perhaps being dragged out on his friends Stag Night didn't have to be a wasted evening after all. She was beautiful, everyone else in the club paled into insignificance. He noticed her, chatting to the barman, laughing softly. God, she was magnificent.

'That will be nine pounds seventy, please…'

'I'll get that.'

Anna turned to see the man who had just been staring at her, opening his wallet and handing the barman a ten pound note. She watched his hand as he waited for his change, before she looked up to meet his eye once more.

'Hi,' John said, the smile he was wearing evident in his tone as well.

'Hi,' Anna breathed, her knees suddenly turning to jelly. Now she was in close proximity to the man, he was more handsome than Anna had realised. And tall, really tall. His dark brown hair was slicked back and his eyes seemed almost green now she could gaze into them more easily. Realising the silence between them was stretching to an awkward level, Anna looked at the three drinks which were waiting for her. 'Thanks, for these.'

'My pleasure,' the man growled, 'they can't all be for you, surely?'

Anna giggled nervously at his suggestion. 'No, no. I am out with my friends tonight. They are dancing at the moment.'

'Right,' he nodded, looking in the direction of the dance floor. 'You didn't want to join them?'

'I would but I fear the heels I am wearing have defeated me.' He laughed at that, Anna deciding in that moment it was the most wonderful sound she had ever heard.

'Is it a special occasion?'

She nodded before answering. 'It is my twenty first birthday.'

John's eyes widened at her admission. Perhaps it was the way she was dressed, but he would never have had her down as being that young. Maybe it would be best to quit whilst he was ahead. But something about her had drawn him in. It had been an instant attraction, a magnetic pull almost. John found he couldn't ignore that.

'Well, congratulations,' he offered warmly. 'Happy birthday.'

'Thank you,' she replied, the grin she afforded him causing his heart to beat that little bit quicker.

Then she held out her hand. John released a breath as he looked down, wrapping his fingers around hers. Her hand was so much smaller than his, it seemed crazy that they were a perfect fit. But they were. That was how it felt. The sensation of her skin on his nearly did him in, John having to clear his throat as she gently squeezed his hand in hers.

'Anna. Anna Smith.'

Ah yes, introductions. They could know each other's names surely, even though their differences in age meant nothing could ever happen. Could it?

'John Bates. Nice to meet you, Anna.'

'And you, John.'

After a moment, John was guiding her to somewhere more secluded, Anna more than willing to follow. He helped her carry her drinks and they placed them on a table that had been deserted of chairs.

'Who are you with?' Anna asked as stirred her drink with the straw in the glass.

'Just some guys from work, they are in that scrum by the DJ box.' John placed his hands in his pocket, feeling a little guilty for monopolising her time whilst she was out celebrating with her friends. 'Will your companions find you here?'

'They'll be dancing for a while yet, it will be fine.' John nodded in understanding, unable to take his eyes from her as she took a sip from her drink. 'So, what do you do?'

John inhaled a breath, recognising the usual dance of chatting some one up. 'I am a police officer.'

'Really?' Anna almost choked on her drink. Whatever his profession was, she wasn't expecting that. 'That's impressive.'

He cocked his head to the side, blushing from her compliment somewhat. 'And you.'

'Nothing as nearly as impressive as that, I'm afraid. I work in a clothes shop in Ripon, I manage the shop on a Saturday.'

'Don't put yourself down,' he smiled warmly. 'I'm sure you are very good at your job.'

'Well, I do like to think I know what people look good in.'

'Okay, well why don't you critique my appearance?' John took a step back as Anna winced.

'No, I'm not falling into that trap.'

'Come on,' he bent down, leaning closer to Anna. 'I won't be offended.'

Relenting, Anna placed her drink down and released a sigh. 'Oh, alright.' She over emphasised her observation, clutching her chin between her thumb and index finger, humming as she thought for effect. He was wearing a black sweater on top of a white shirt, dark blue jeans and brown boots.

'Smart, casual.' She placed her mouth around her straw, taking another sip of her drink before looking up at him under her long eyelashes. 'In need of a woman's touch ever so slightly, perhaps.'

He had to grin at that, the fact a woman as beautiful as she was flirting with him made him feel a little good about himself. He lifted his eyebrows before replying. 'Perhaps.'


Present Day

As he navigated the roundabout, John heaved a heavy sigh as his wife continued the rant she had begun before they had even left the house.

'I just wish you'd warned me before you told me we were going out for dinner. I might have had a chance to buy myself a new outfit.'

'It was meant to be a surprise, Vera,' John tried to explain, relieved to see their destination on the right hand side of the road. 'If I had told you it might have taken away the surprise element, wouldn't you say?'

'Perhaps.' John allowed himself a small smile at her word. 'But all I had to wear was this old dress.'

As he stopped at the red light, indicating to turn left, John afforded his wife a glance. 'If I told you I thought you looked lovely this evening, would it help?'

'Lovely.' Her tone was dissatisfied, and John was quickly realising that was probably the worse adjective he could use to describe his hard to please spouse. 'Lovely? There was a time you couldn't get enough of me, couldn't keep your hands off me. I was irresistible. Now I just look lovely.'

Setting the car into motion once more, John decided his best course of action was to probably stop talking. Nothing he said was ever good enough. Once the car was parked, John got out then opened the back passenger door, retrieving his cane. He could almost hear Vera rolling her eyes as took hold of the walking aid.

'We're only walking into the restaurant to sit down,' Vera chided him, John deciding to ignore her as he locked the car.

It didn't get any better once they were sitting. There was nothing on the menu Vera liked. The room smelt. Her drink was warm. The table was too close to the kitchen. It was too hot. John just nodded in the right places, offering the waitress polite and apologetic smiles as Vera took out her frustrations on the young woman.

Often he wondered why he stuck this out, the being reminded every day he wasn't good enough. But the truth was despite her faults John loved Vera. He wouldn't have married her if he didn't. But the past couple of years, especially since he was injured, had been difficult. John suspected her infidelity on a daily basis, but just couldn't find it within himself to do anything about it. Since what happened to him, nothing seemed to matter.

'Well, what a surprise. My meal is cold.'

John shook his head, responding through gritted teeth. 'Is anything right with this evening, darling?'

'You should have told me you were planning to take me to dinner for our anniversary. I could have chosen the place.'

'One of the guys at work recommended this place, said it was really nice. And I happen to agree with him. Just because you are in a bad mood…'

'Damn it John,' Vera's hand slamming on the table made him jump. She had such a temper. In the next moment, Vera was calling for the attention of their waitress. John saw the young woman gearing herself up for what was coming next. 'I want to see the manager. My food is cold.'

'Very well.'

The waitress disappeared, John thoroughly embarrassed at the scene Vera was causing, looking beside him at their fellow diners. 'Why can't we just have a normal evening out?'

'Good evening, Madam. I hear everything is not to your satisfaction.'

That voice, it was familiar, a sound that he thought he would never be fortunate to hear again. It was then that John lifted his head from his wife to look at the manager. He couldn't believe his eyes. John felt his heart constrict in his chest, his mind was moving at one hundred miles an hour. Anna.

As the customer spoke, Anna averted her gaze for a moment, but when she took in who was also at the table, it was as if everything else around her was melting away. She couldn't believe it. He was older, he was greying at the temples but he still had the most gorgeous eyes, the eyes that had won her heart over fifteen years ago.

'Well, you're obviously not listening to me so I'll just go and wait in the car.' Vera rising to her feet halted their moment, she holding her hand out to John. 'Keys John.' Shaking his head, John reached into his pocket for his keys before placing them in Vera's hands. She marched away from the table calling after her as she went. 'I'll wait for you in the car. And I won't be recommending this God awful place to anyone I know.'

Once she had left the restaurant, John felt ashamed as he felt Anna's gaze boring into him. 'I'm sorry.'

'Never mind that,' Anna said excitedly, encouraging him to stand up. 'Give me a hug.'

She didn't understand how much her request meant to John. The terms on which they had parted, the words he had said. Despite pushing it to the back of his mind, the guilt and regret had never left him. Feeling her arms around his shoulders, John was transported back to a time in his life when he felt alive and free. Like he could do anything.

'So, how have you been?' Anna asked, taking his left hand in her own.

And it was then they both saw them, both saw the symbols that meant they belonged to another. Of course that woman was his wife. Husband's took their wives to dinner. Of course she would have met someone else, someone more suited to her than he.

Clearing his throat, John released Anna's hand, propriety getting the better of him. He reached for his cane, heaving himself to his feet. 'You know, muddling along.'

John noticed her expression when she saw his cane, but a look of surprise soon turned to one of understanding. She had known the line of work he had been in, known the dangers it posed.

'I thought you were in London.'

'I was, but I missed Yorkshire.' John shrugged his shoulders before smiling. 'Anyway, I thought you were in Australia.'

'I was, but I came back here for the same reason you did.'

Silence fell then before John reached into his pocket for his wallet. 'How much do I owe?'

'Don't worry about it,' Anna shook her head. 'Your wife wasn't satisfied, this one is on me.'

'Only if you sure.'

'I am.' She placed a hand on his forearm and their gaze locked. That rush that Anna used to feel whenever she looked at John was still there. It was as if they had never been apart.

'Goodbye Anna,' John whispered weakly , the moment they had just shared leaving him completely overwhelmed. Moving away from the table, it would have been too painful to look back at her over his shoulder. He never thought he would see her again. And now he was walking out of her life again.


Not much was said on the drive home. John was glad of that. His head was full with thoughts of Anna. If he was honest, a memory of her was always present in the back of his mind, a small beam of light that reminded him of how his life could have been. She was still stunning, still beautiful.

Now in bed, Vera sleeping by his side, John allowed himself to drift back to that time in his life, a time when Anna was his. She had made him feel so many things Vera had never come close to making him feel. And it was seeing her again tonight that hammered home that fact. He had let the most precious, wonderful thing ever to happen to him slip through his fingers. And for what? Because of what other people thought, because he believed he was doing her a favour in the long run?

But what was the point of dwelling on it? Dwelling on it wouldn't change anything. John laughed to himself. Who was he kidding?

It was going to be a long night.


'He's an old friend, Ben. What more do you want me say?'

'You looked very cosy holding hands there.'

Anna slumped down on the chair at the kitchen table in defeat. 'You won't listen to me so what's the point?'

'I'm going out,' he replied, snatching the car keys from the table.

'Going where?' Anna called after him. But all she was met with was the slam of the front door.

Placing her head in her hands, Anna tried to let the events of the evening wash over her. It was enough that her first love come back into her life in such a way, but for her husband to allow his jealous streak come to the fore. It was tough.

Ben had given up a lot for Anna, she knew that. But his outbursts like this were becoming more and more frequent. However, Anna knew he would calm down, probably arrive home in a few hours and apologise. It would all blow over.

As her nerves settled after their argument, Anna let herself think about John. It had been such a shock to see him in the restaurant she owned with Ben. He was still as handsome as she could remember, he hadn't changed a lot physically. Not really. Anna had believed he was still in London, in the Metropolitan Police. Why was he back in Yorkshire? And the cane, why did he need that? It was clear in their time apart he had been through something. She had noticed his eyes had lost that spark, that spark she had lived for only a few years ago.

But what did it matter. They probably wouldn't see each other again. He was married. She was married. They were different people now.

So why did all those old feelings come rushing back? And why couldn't Anna shake them away now? Maybe seeing him again had made Anna realise something she never liked to admit to herself.

She had settled for second best.