Hello hello! I decided to post this separately from "The Way We Touch" because this is going to be a two-parter, and it also doesn't quite fit in with my other stories. This is my first time writing in an Oliver-Voice, which is pretty darn tough for me to write (because as I've already admitted, he's the strong silent type and ABS) so please forgive any annoyances or OOCness. This is also pretty angsty- compared to my other works, that is. Not too sure how it will measure up to all the other wonderful angst-filled fics out there, though. It's got a happy ending, but probably not quite what y'all will be looking for.
So I had this idea in my head for quite a while, but what really motivated me to write it was Birdy's cover of John Butler Trio's "What You Want". That song is so heart wrenching and it certainly gets you in a detrimentally hopeless romantic kind of mood. Plus, Birdy's my homegirl, and her voice is pure magic.
Again, sincerest apologies for any mistakes. Tenses will probably be going every which way, so sorry about that.
Disclaimer: I do not own CW's Arrow, or either version of the song "What You Want".
Chapter 1: Or I Could Be No One
"Oliver Asshat Queen!"
He cringes, not expecting to hear her angry stomps down the basement stairs so soon. He steps away from the sparring dummy and grabs a towel to wipe down the two-hour buildup of sweat, facing away from her so he can school his features.
"What the hell is this?!"
He hears a rustling of papers and he assumes she's shaking a large packet in his direction.
"You look at me when I'm yelling at you, asshat!"
He tenses but turns around, pulling on a shirt at the same time. "Can we lay off the name calling, please? Is that any way to talk to someone who just bought you a house?"
Her eyes widen and her face gets even more flushed, a shade of angry red he's never seen during all the years of them working together. "So this is real? You seriously bought this house, and thought, 'Hmmm, what to do with an extra house? Oh, I know, Felicity and Mark!' Are you shitting me right now?"
He sighs, threading a hand through his hair and tries to choose his words carefully. Yes, he bought them a house. But it wasn't just any house. It was The House. The House Felicity found several months ago when she and Mark started looking for places to live together. The House she couldn't stop talking about, telling as many people about it as possible. She even brought it up on the computers in the Foundry on a particularly slow night to show to him. The Perfect House, with its bay windows and daisy yellow exterior and original hardwood floors and porch swing and a room that had been previously set up as a motherfucking nursery.
It was perfect for her. It was her Forever House. And her perfect forever would be in that house with Mark.
But it was two hundred thousand dollars over their absolute max budget. They put in an offer anyway, but it was rejected. And when Felicity tried crunching as many numbers as she could but to no avail, she and Mark had to cut their losses and keep looking elsewhere.
And she was crushed. Seeing her so sad and forlorn, and knowing that he couldn't offer any more comfort other than a hand on the shoulder, was quite possibly one of the worst things he had to witness. Excluding, of course, the day she accepted Mark's proposal.
So a couple of days after she gave up hoping for The House, he called up his broker and put in an offer, higher than asking price to ensure that he got it. He debated on when exactly to sign over the deed. He thought the best course of action would be to wait until their honeymoon. That way she would be at the Louvre or enjoying a nice glass of wine when they found out, and that would hopefully soften her indignation.
Earlier in the week, however, they decided to put an offer on another house, a certainly less than perfect house, and Oliver knew he couldn't keep it from them any longer.
The paperwork must have been finalized just this morning, which now brings them to their current situation of Felicity glaring at him, hand on hips, and Oliver struggling to maintain control. A situation all too familiar to him, and one that he will undoubtedly miss.
He decides to play it off casually, something he knows she'll see right through, but it will help him create the distance he needs. "Yes, I bought you the house. Consider it a wedding present."
"Oliver. A 50-piece silverware set that Mark and I will never use is a wedding present. Not a freaking house!"
She's not cursing anymore, and Oliver takes that as a good sign. "Well, you wouldn't let me help pay for anything else."
Felicity's mouth scrunches up into a tight pucker.
Shit.
"I wouldn't let you pay for anything because it's not your wedding to pay for!" Oliver feels his eye twitch and is grateful Felicity doesn't seem to notice. "We don't need your charity, Oliver!"
That part gets him mad, and too late he realizes his voice is growing louder, "You're not charity. You're my friend!"
"Again, friends don't buy friends houses!"
Oliver throws up his hands in exasperation and takes two steps away from her before stepping back. "So, what? You want me take the house back? What do you want?"
"I want to know why you bought us this house!"
"Because you and Mark are my friends, and I want you both to be happy!"
"Bullshit, everyone knows you hate Mark!"
They're both yelling now, and they've moved closer together over the course of the argument until they're just a foot apart. For the millionth time Oliver gets the urge to close the short distance between them, taking her face in his hands to slant his mouth over hers, and put their passion to much better use.
Oliver shakes the fantasy out of his head and walks away to perch on the table with her computers, attempting a calmer tone, "I do not hate Mark."
She raises her eyebrows in the look that says she's not buying it, so reminiscent of how she used to look at him when they first met, and this time the stab to his heart is so swift that he has to take a quick breath.
"Okay, so perhaps I'm a bit reserved around him. But that doesn't mean I don't like him."
Which, God help him, is the truth. Mark is a great guy. He's a great, funny, sensitive, generous, smart, perfect match for Felicity and he couldn't think of a better husband for her.
And it makes him want to punch his fist through a wall.
He sighs before repeating quietly, avoiding her gaze, "I do not hate Mark."
She's silent for a while, just staring at him likes she's trying to solve one of her mysteries and more than anything Oliver wants to show her the solution (because wouldn't they just be so much happier if he did?)
But he can't. So she still asks, "Oliver, why did you buy us this house? Do you have any idea how this will look?"
He nods aggressively and replies with his teeth on edge, hands gripping the edge of the table, "Sure, it will look like I'm a nice guy who wants to do nice things for his friends."
"God, you still don't get it! Mark and I are adults, fully capable of leading our own lives and making our own decisions and purchases! This was none of your business, Oliver. This was not your problem! I can't stand it when you get like this, all protective and obsessive and overstepping boundaries! My life is not something you are responsible for! I am not yours!"
He stands up abruptly, blood rushing through his head, kicking behind him at the table, "You don't think I know that? You don't-"
He stops before he can say anything else, cursing himself for both his stupidity and cowardice, and walks towards the mats
But Felicity is not to be stopped and follows him. "What? I don't what? I don't get a say in the decisions you make for me?"
"What? No, it's not like that-"
"Uh huh, sure, it hasn't been like that at all the past six years. Never mind you 'promoting' me to your executive assistant. Never mind you banning me from going out in the field. Never mind you pushing me away because you think I can't handle who you really are. Never mind you sending me back to IT. Never mind after I got engaged you telling me that I should stop spending my nights with you- ARGH!"
Tears are threatening to overflow in her eyes and Oliver can't bear the way she sees him, "Felicity, please, stop-"
She pokes at his chest as she says, "No, you stop! Why did you buy me the house?!"
Oliver lets out a frustrated growl, "You really want to know?"
"No, I'm just yelling because I want to make sure I'm loud enough when I say my vows!"
He then decides to say the one thing that he knows will put an end to her pushing. It will also probably put an end to their relationship, but he's been preparing himself for that day for a long time, so he's ready.
"Fine! I bought you the fucking house because I love-"
"Don't. Don't you dare say it."
The tears are loose now, tracking mascara down her face, and he sighs. He closes his eyes as he feels his anger slip away, and realizes that it just doesn't matter anymore. With the last of his anger also goes the last of his regret.
When he speaks his voice is filled with a strong sincerity that is much louder than those three words ever will be. "I just want you to be happy."
He opens his eyes slowly to see that her eyes are now closed, and she nods her head a few times. She whispers because he's sure the fight is gone from her as well. "We could have been great, you know. And you didn't even try."
He gently pulls her into him, realizing that this is something they both need. He feels her arms wrap around him just as tightly as his around her, and he puts his lips to her hair. "I know… I know."
He feels the shudders wracking through her body and knows she's trying to contain her sobs. They stand like that for a few moments, and even though he knows he'll have to build up the walls around his heart again, he lets himself enjoy those moments. He commits the way they're pressed together so perfectly to memory, drinking in her scent and counting the seconds between breaths. So when he finds himself at another one of his many low points, he can remember that there was a time he was loved so completely that it saved him, and he saved her in return by letting her go.
It's her that pulls away, and he feels the first of the walls to go up. "So… do you want me to take the house back?"
She lets out a wet laugh and walks over to her desk to get tissue. Wiping her face, she says, "No. I know you… meant well. We'll just tell everyone it's a perk of being Oliver Queen's friends."
She turns to face him. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, even though you deserved it."
His mouth twitches. "I'm sorry for buying you and your fiancé a house. Even though you deserved it."
She gives him a small smile and nods. "Thank you, Oliver. It really does mean a lot. But please, no more expensive gifts. Especially when, you know, we start having kids. You're always going to be Cool Uncle Oliver, but please limit it to one pony per child, for our sakes, okay?"
He closes his eyes and imagines two or three kids running around The Perfect House, all with Felicity's smile and intelligent gaze, and fondly thinks, God, there will be no end to the rambling…
"Okay."
He feels her hand gently glide over his wrist, and he's pretty sure he'd know her touch from anywhere. He opens his eyes to see her looking at him with timid concern.
"I'll see you tomorrow?"
He gives her a gentle smile. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
End
So…. Yeah… what'd you think? Hopefully not too awful! Some of you might be wondering why Oliver never tried to have a relationship with Felicity. I didn't feel like I could fit it naturally in the story, but it pretty much comes down to him still not wanting to get involved with anyone because of the risks, and by the time he finally got his head out his ass, Felicity was already in a strong relationship with Mark, so he knew he missed his chance.
Anywho, I'd love to know what you think! Thanks for reading!
P.S. The happy ending will be in part 2! :)
