OK….so this started as a relatively normal one-shot…just something inspired by a phone call with my friends…but somehow, the slightly perverted, older side of me took over and…well…this happened…..
Disclaimer: Me? Own Hannah Montana? Nooooo….
"Lilly? Oliver? You guys there?"
"Yeps."
"Yeah, 'cause I'm freaky-freaky-freaky-freaky fresh."
"And not cool and funny at all."
"Your mom."
"Is cooler than you."
"In bed."
"Ew. You've slept with my mom?"
"Sure, all the time."
"Pervert."
"Are you jealous?"
"Yes, Oliver, I've always had this passion to have hot, lusty sex with you."
"You know you wanna."
"Now if only you knew what sarcasm was."
"Whatever. You think I'm sexy."
"Only when I can't see your face."
"My face?"
"Yes. Thought you would have noticed it got hit by a car."
"I wouldn't think you'd care so much about my face if you wanted sex."
"Perrrrrverttttttttttt. Besides, I don't sleep with ugly guys."
"GASP. Lilly's not a virgin?"
"Pshh, no. Haven't you heard? I've been with all three of the Jonas Brothers. At the same time."
"Impressive."
"Why? You wanna be with the Jonas Brothers?"
"Truth or Dare?"
"Don't freakin' change the subject on me when I'm attempting to coax you out of your closet."
"OK, Dare. I dare you to make out with the stop sign by our school tomorrow."
"Only if I can imagine it's Pete Wentz."
"Fine. Truth."
"Are you in love with me?"
"Truthfully?"
"Truthfully-loofully."
"Yes, I'm truly, madly, deeply, passionately in love with you. And all that shit."
"Nice."
"So we should probably get married."
"As long as we live in Fiji."
"What about next to Jessica Alba?"
"She's married."
"She's still fucking hot."
"…"
"…"
"Whatever."
"I'll always love you than her, though."
"What?"
"What?"
"Gay wad, you totally mumbled something. About love."
"Nah, those are just the voices in your head."
"I had those shot a month ago. What did you say?"
"…"
"I can't create a snappy comeback if you don't tell me."
"I said I love you."
"I already knew that. Fiji ringing a bell?"
"No, Lils, I'm serious. I love you."
"…"
"Lils?"
"…"
"Lilly?"
"…"
"Lillian?"
"I'm trying to think of a snappy comeback."
"I'm serious."
"Seriously in love with me?"
"Is Zac Efron gay? Yeah, I'm love with you."
"Well, then."
"That wasn't a snappy comeback."
"Well, that wasn't a really good confession."
"Does that mean you don't love me back?"
"Meet me at the beach."
"Huh?"
"You know that landmark thing where there are tan grains of sandy material that lead into a large area of blue-ish liquid? Meet me there."
"Now?"
"No, in 20 years. Yes, Retard, this moment."
"K, see you…uh, love you."
"Whatever. Bye."
Dialtone.
Dialtone.
"Uh….guys? I'm still here….Lilly? Oliver?"
Yeah. Funny things about this one-shot. First, when I was writing that thing about Pete Wentz, FNMTV came on television and, lo and behold, Pete Wentz. Secondly, because I might get reviews from huge Jonas Brothers fans, yes, I know they're abstinent. Believe me, I'm a GIANT fan of them. But I thought it was funny.
Also, I'm gonna make another version of this story, the one I intended to make, a cleaner one, and post it soon.
Soooo, review.
BTW, has anyone bought the new Jonas Brothers CD and what do you think of it?
