So no beta so I will apologize now for the mistakes. Hopefully you will enjoy the story despite them. This is something that just came into my head and well just had to get it down. Enjoy and please let me know what you think! Makes slight reference to my human Rouge Warden Kahlan from my dragon age fanfic. The inquisitor is also a human rouge and is name Lizabeth.
The holy one. The one touched by the Divine. Andraste's personally appointed savior. Commander. Inquisitor. The Herald. Lizabeth was drowning with the titled being forced down her throat. Just when she was sure they couldn't possibly find another title to add to the pack, some random person would prove her wrong. Ever since she stumbled out of the fade her life seemed like it was no longer in her control. As the Herald everyone looked at her either like she was the Maker himself or something that need to be squashed. Now as the Inquisitor people look at her and her alone, despite her companions, to stop the world from going to hell. What did she know about saving the world? If she didn't have the damn anchor on her hand no one would look at her for such a task. She was nothing but a simple rogue and nothing more.
Yet everyone looked to her judgment an opinion on everything from the color of the drapes at Skyhold to stopping the civil wars between the mages and Templars. Hardest about that was trying not to drive a wedge between her and her companions. Even King Alistair had a few choice words for her on the matter. Giving mages equal opportunity with the Inquisition was a bit hard to swallow from a lot of people in Ferelden. Lizabeth herself even lost a few nights of sleep over that decision. Especially when she found out what became of the Templars. The Chantry's faithful order was now tainted with red lyrium and working for a demon hell bent on bringing darkness to Thedas. The Grey Warden nearly fell to the same fate. Thankfully Hawke had interjected herself into the situation at the right time. If she hadn't, Lizabeth was sure that the great order would have been wiped out leaving the land defenseless if another blight broke out.
When it came to their fate they had looked to the might Inquisitor once more. Banishment was the recommended punishment, but Lizabeth couldn't do. She had granted the Grey Warden a place in the Inquisition so they could prove themselves to the people of Thedas once more. Lizabeth found it sad that was the fate of the order. They were great warriors who willingly took arms against darkspwan and archdemon, sacrificing anything that would resemble a normal life. They had to give up so much and life such a short life for others. Just a year ago the Grey Wardens were praised for their actions during the blight. Now they were looked upon in shame.
Blackwall's sudden bark of laughter brought Lizabeth back to reality. The tavern was filled with noises of storytelling, drinking, and arguments. Their travels had brought them back to Redcliff and Lizabeth decided warm food and mead to fill her companion's bellies was in order. The owner had been so delighted be her and her party's appearance that he put them up in rooms for the night. Lizabeth couldn't find it in her to deny the offer. A night not sleeping on the ground was a welcomed one.
"Are you all right, Inquisitor?" Dorian asked noticing her silence.
Lizabeth tried not to wince at the title. When was the last time anyone called her by her first name? The question made her frown so she took a sip of her drink to hide it. "I'm fine." She assured. The mage didn't like the answer, but she just pushed it away. The only thing that mattered was her ability to be able to lead. Nothing more. "I need some air."
Cassandra was already pushing away from the table, "I'll join you."
Lizabeth raised a hand to keep the Seeker in place, "No need to interrupt a good time, Cassandra." Maker knew the woman didn't experience that very often. "Enjoy your drink and trade war stories with Blackwall. I'll be back in a bit."
She escaped to an empty balcony up stairs before anyone else could say anything. She loved her companions, she really did. They were family and she would go to the ends of the fade for them. Even give her life if it came down to it. There was just time Lizabeth needed to escape from them. She just needed a few moments to be with her own thoughts and not worry about battle strategies or political problems.
Breathing in the crisp night air, Lizabeth leaned over the railing and took in the site of Redcliff. For being a late hour the town was still well lit with the streets busy with foot traffic. The city seemed to be returning to normal after the mage's exit and the Arl's return. It was nice to see some type of normalcy returning to Ferelden. Whispers were starting to reach Skyhold involving the King's state of mind since word of the Warden corruption got out. The Queen's reputation was already starting to tarnish since up and leaving the city some time ago. Lizabeth could tell that the Queen's absence weighed heavily on the king during the brief time spend with him.
"You look a bit overwhelmed." A cloaked figure slid through the shadows and joined her at the railing.
The familiar voice had the rouge jolting, "King-…"
"Shh!" Alistair scanned his surroundings to see if anyone was close enough to over hear her.
Lizabeth did the same trying to see if she could spot any royal guards. They were either really good at blending in or the King of Ferelden snuck away unnoticed. Judging by his hooded face and traveling clothes it was the latter of the two. "Do this often, Warden?"
"Have to keep my guards on their toes." Alistair grinned at Lizabeth once he was sure no one had heard. "Becoming King wasn't something I imagined doing with my life and even told them once I was crown I wouldn't be bound by walls and guards. I think they thought I would have grown out of it by now."
Lizabeth found herself smiling possibly for the first time in days. "Who convinced you of becoming kind if you were so strongly against it?"
"There were quite a few people telling me it was my duty to do it. In the end it came down to one person." The former Warden stopped and shifted his gaze to look over the down. His voice grew softer when he spoke again, "Kahlan believed in me and the land's need for a ruler that I could be. I wasn't much of one before that, but with her believing in me I knew I could do it. I knew that I could be the king Ferelden needed."
There was a longing in the man's voice for his warden. Lizabeth's heart ached. Would she have to make that choice before the end of all this? To leave behind the people she loved and cared for not knowing just how long that might be? Lizabeth had figured, well hoped really, that once this blighted quest of hers was over, she could take control of her life again. If the Hero of Ferelden current absence was a prelude to life after, Lizabeth was losing hope.
"You look nearly as overwhelmed as Kahlan did before the end of the blight. I think if her showdown with the archdemon wasn't looming, she was going to start punching dignitaries in the face."
Since Lizabeth could imagine herself doing the same, she laughed. "So many people talk about her patience and grace when talking how she united the land before the final battle."
"Oh she had plenty of both." Alistair assured his voice warm with love and admiration for his wife. "But when the burden became too much for her it was a different story."
"What kept her from just saying screw it and just find a nice place to hide?" Lizabeth found herself wanting to do that very thing a few times in the past month or so. Leadership had been thrust upon her and looking back she didn't really have a choice in taking it.
Alistair mimicked the inquisitor's position and leaned against the wooden railing. "She didn't want to let anyone down. Especially her parents. They died to cover Kahlan's escape the night Howe took Highever. From the moment I met her, I knew she was meant to lead. That she was meant for something important. That didn't mean it came easy for her. Some of the choices she had to make tore her apart."
"She had her companions to help didn't she?" Lizabeth tilted her head to look at him, "she had you."
"We all had our opinion on what was right. Most of the time none of us could agree. In the end it had to be up to her. Just like it has to be up to you."
Lizabeth sighed and turned her gaze back to the people bustling about the town, "I sometimes think your warden is stronger than I. I hear all the stories about her and Liliana speaks so highly of her and I don't see how she made it through sane. Each day my responsibility seems to grow and I fear it's too much for me. In the end I don't think I have what it takes."
"You are." Alistair corrected, "Liliana talks just as highly as you in our correspondence. Just know that you don't have to shoulder all of it yourself. You have your companion. Your friends. They would follow you to the darkest depths of the fade. You just have to allow them in."
"She…" Lizabeth began to pick at the railing, "Kahlan was lucky to have you."
"Is there…" A bit awkwardly, Alistair shifted his weight and cleared his throat, "Is there no one like that for you?"
Her mind immediately went to Cullen. They had exchanged a few flirts and smiles, but there hadn't been really any time for more. The question was did she want more? With all that was going on did she have a right to seek pleasure amongst the chaos? A part of Lizabeth wanted to ask the King how he and his warden had managed such a thing during the blight. Not only did they fall in love, but somehow managed to marry, before slaying the archdemon. She on the other hand couldn't find a moment to herself. "It's complicated."
"Ahh."
"Is she well?" Lizabeth finally found the courage to ask the question. Alistair had spoken only about Kahlan's past. "Your warden."
The King flexed his large calloused hands making the silver engrave ring catch the firelight from inside the tavern. After a few moments, a streak of gold writing worked through the grooves on the ring. "She is well."
Lizabeth raised a confused brow.
The corner of his mouth lifted, "A companion of outs enchanted it for us as a wedding gift." Pleasure flooded his breaded face, "the rings belonged to Kahlan's parents. It's enchanted to shine like that when one of is thinking about the other. The rings are also linked to remain warm as long as our heart is beating." Alistair feared the day that it would turn cold.
"Where is she? Isn't she needed most now when the people of the land is tearing each other apart."
The question struck a chord. The King straightened and his face hardened making him look like the regal king he was. "Grey Wardens went missing and we were hearing the music of the calling way before it was time. When we take the taint it shortens out lives, it hinders us in so many other ways, so we try to pack as much of life as we can in those years. As a Warden Commander it is her duty to figure out why the calling was happening now and do whatever she could to stop it. To save as many wardens as she could."
"Do you hear it?" Lizabeth wondered. "The calling?"
Alistair rubbed his temple, "it's stopped now. Before it nearly drove me crazy. No matter how hard I tried to block it out there was this song in my head like a siren's song beckoning me to my death. I started to dive myself into training my army. When I took up a sword it made it dim a little."
"I'm sorry." Lizabeth whispered, "I was just lashing out. She is a fine warrior that I would like to have at my side that is all. I can't imagine the pain of being apart is causing the two of you."
Alistair slowly uncurled his fingers from the banister. "Her quest will help all wardens. Hopefully." He softly added, "I must start back before they send to royal army to find me. You've been given a task I'm sure you really didn't want. But you have it in you to finish it."
"I wish I felt that confident."
"Believe in yourself, Lizabeth. Believe in your companions and all can't be lost." Alistair bowed his head, "Ferelden is indebted to you, Inquisitor. Send word if you need anything."
Lizabeth returned the gesture and the warden king was gone. Her companion's laughter spilled out from the open doorway. Alistair was right. She could see this through, but only with the loyalty and support from her friends. Thinking of Alistair made Lizabeth's heart ache again. They loved each other. Liliana spoke of how devoted the two wardens were to each other. About how their love gave many hope when there wasn't any. Now to be parted with the world literally tearing at the seams seem such an unfair fate. Lizabeth wondered if the two would ever see each other again.
Was that why she was dancing around Cullen and the way she felt about him? There was no guarantee that they would both be standing at the end of this. Lizabeth wasn't sure that she could carry the weight of a damaged heart like the king did. Was it even right to enter a relationship with Cullen knowing that in the end she would be the cause of his heart ache? The man had been through enough. HE deserved to find happiness. To find peace. She couldn't promise any of that.
"Liz?" Cassandra called out a warning before stepping onto the balcony. "You all right? You have been gone for some time."
"Yes." Liz turned after she made sure she could muster a smile, "yes I'm fine. Are our boys behaving themselves?"
"As well as they can manage at least. A moment if you spare one."
Lizabeth leaned back against the banister, "for you Cassandra I can spare two."
Smiling, the Seeker joined, "I can't help but notice that everyone asks so much of you that no one stops to ask you how you're holding up. I can't imagine that your life has been easy since walking out of the fade."
"That it has not." Lizabeth sighed. "Not that my life was less complicated to begin with. Not tearing holes in the fade complicated, but complicated none the less."
"You speak very little of your family."
"We are not on the greatest of terms. You can say that Dorian and I's situations aren't that different." Lizabeth watched Cassandra's brow shoot up and quickly back peddled upon realizing how that sounded. "Not quite like that. More the fact that our parents are trying to make us people that we don't want to be. My mother wanted a proper daughter who would marry some man with great power and give her many grandchildren. She never did approve of the day that I picked up my first bow and found my first love."
Cassandra chuckled, "we are alike on that one though I do have a softer side."
"You?" Lizabeth spoke in mock surprise to get her friend to laugh again. "Really? I would have never guessed that the woman who read swords and shields had a softer side."
"Laugh it up." Cassandra crossed her arms on the banister and leaned forward a bit to breathe in the night air. "I still haven't forgiven you for telling the dwarf. He still won't let me hear the end of it."
"I couldn't help it." The Inquisitor confessed struggling not to laugh. "It just caught me so off guard, but it is nice to know that side of you exist. I would hate to think that the world has left you as battle scarred as you appear to be."
"I will admit I long for the day that a man will come into my life with flowers and poetry." She pointed a finger before Lizabeth could say a word, "Don't tell Varric. Inquisitor or not I will kill you breathing a word to him."
Lizabeth held up her hands in surrender, "I won't say a word." Because she wanted the same thing. Maybe not the poetry. She just wanted to love a man without fear and with all her heart. If she was being honest she wanted that with Cullen.
"At least you're closer to it then I?"
"I'm sorry?"
The corner of Cassandra's lip curved, "I am talking about Cullen." She watched a blush work across Lizabeth face even though the Inquisitor tried to mask it. "What? Was it supposed to be some big secret? If it is, it's the maker's worst kept one."
"Well…" Lizabeth tried to think of something to say. Of a way to deny it, but only came up with, "shit."
"The poor man came to me just yesterday asking for advice. Me for advice!" The thought made Cassandra laugh again, "He was fumbling over himself trying to ask how he should proceed with you."
"Proceed?"
"He thinks that if you did have feelings for him that they have changed."
"Changed. Maker no they haven't changed." Lizabeth cringed when she realized that she just confessed having feelings for their commander. Well no turning back now it seemed. She rubbed a hand over her burning face, "can we just go back down stairs and join the guys for a drink before bed."
Cassandra tilted her in consideration and pushed away from the banister, "I will take pity on you and say yes. Just let me say this one thing?"
"Only one?"
"If you do have feelings for him then tell him."
"It's not that simple."
"Is it not?"
"Demons are falling from the sky and there is an archdemon roaming Thedas." Lizabeth reminded, "I think those are a little more important than matters of the heart."
"Says a person who has had their heart broken or is too afraid that it will be. Come." Cassandra bumped shoulders with Lizabeth to usher off the balcony, "let us go down stairs."
So any thoughts? Good, bad, or ugly?
