One Journey
By: PhoenixJustice
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros, and other people who are not me. I only own this story and make no profit from this.
Warning: Rated T for language, etc.
Pairing: Snarry, Ron/Hermione.
Setting: Year 7, obviously a bit AU; spoilers for the series.
Summary: He had judged harshly. And when he came across him weeks after the fact, he had been ready to kill him. And then he saw the tears.
A/N: Dedicated to NatsMiniMe/MissKM for our contest. I haven't forgotten! lol. And I deliver on what I owe. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. :)
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Things hadn't gone smoothly.
Of course, to be fair, he knew it wouldn't be as easy as he hoped.
After all, he was attempting to do something very difficult.
He knew going into things that it would be a trial, or trials. After all, he, and others, were attempting something that no one else had before-to his knowledge at least. No one had been powerful enough (probably), or dumb enough, to create more than one Horcrux. With what he knew about Horcruxes now, he wondered if anyone who had created one still lived; if they still walked around the world without anyone the wiser.
But those were thoughts he had only sporadically, throughout their searchings. Hermione was invaluable for her tools, her knowledge of the books she had read and her magical skills. Ron was invaluable for his courage, his strength, and his commitment to what they were doing (and his magical skills were nothing to shrug at now either.) And Se...and Snape's skills were many; he had, after all, been a double agent for many years, gathering information and doing other tasks. He was also a Master Potions maker and he had ample magical skills at his disposal. Why he may not have been a Dumbledore or Voldemort in terms of pure, raw, magical skills, his skills were nothing to shrug at.
Snape...that was another odd thing.
He had been ready, more than ready, to hurt Snape for what he had done. Of course he hadn't known then, in those brief, dark moments, that he had done what Dumbledore himself had wanted. He had only seen the surface, had only seen a murderer, when the man himself had had to kill someone whom he considered like a father-a man better to him than his own father had been, Harry would come to learn.
He had judged harshly. And when he came across him weeks after the fact, he had been ready to kill him.
And then he saw the tears.
To say he had been shocked was the highest of understatements. He knew the man Snape had been; at least to him, the man he saw at certain moments. But those tears came at a time when no one else would have been watching him, when he would have no reason to cry. Harry saw him, with those tears, and heard those words of remorse, and just like that the anger melts away from him.
He reveals himself to Snape and the man is instantly on the defensive, expecting the worst. Harry knew he never expected him to hug him. He feels him stiffen in his arms for a long time, before finally breaking down and hugging him in return, hands clinging like vices.
Things had changed after that moment. That icy exterior that Harry had always known had melted, even if just enough, and he was allowed to see the man, raw and hurt, underneath.
And then it had changed again, months later, searching for Horcruxes and he somehow finds himself in the man's arms and returning his kiss.
And he realized a short time after that, that he loved him. That he probably loved him longer than he realized he did. He had never thought about a relationship with a man before. Not because he had thought it was wrong or something to that effect. He didn't; people deserved to be with whom they wanted to and deserved to be happy like everyone else. To be honest, growing up, (and even a long time into his time in Hogwarts) he hadn't thought about relationships. He had been conditioned since he was a small child that he was unloved, unwanted; the Dursleys had warned him of that often enough. So even when he had longed for love, longed to have someone to be with, he had pushed that far into himself to keep himself from getting hurt.
He had never been in love before and it was a great feeling, if a bit scary. Because then you came to really worry about someone else and your world was expanded upon more than it ever had been. Learning he was a wizard almost paled in comparison to the feeling when you realized you love someone. And that they love you back.
But it made him feel bad also. Not because of anything Severus did, but because of Ginny. Being in so many places like he, Ron, Hermione, and Severus were, they had no time to send any messages to anyone. And considering Voldemort and his Death Eaters were on their trail, they especially could not send any messages to people. He could not tell her that he had found someone to be with, that he fell in love with this person. And he especially could not tell her that although he cared about her, he had never loved her. Had never been in love with her. He could only hope that she too cared about him but was not in love with him. Anything to make the sting of loss easier.
That is, if he came out of the situation with Voldemort alive.
The Prophecy had been quite ominous in its phrasing and he couldn't say it didn't worry him. ("For neither can live while the other survives.")
"You're thinking too hard again, Potter. And considering it's you, that's saying something."
He jumps, whipping his head around. Severus stands at the flap of the tent, arms crossed, smirking at him. He was used to his smirking now. It was not the condescending sneer of years past, but a friendly little mocking.
"Oi! I resent that!"
"You resent it? Oh of course, excuse me; I won't make the mistake that you think again." Severus says, smirk widening.
"You git," Harry says, laughing. He pulls on Severus's robe, pulling him closer. Severus obliges and moves closer into Harry's space. His smirk softens into a smile, one he knew Severus showed no one else. Although Severus was civil with Ron and Hermione, he did not show the softer sides of himself to anyone other than Harry. Harry knew Severus had a hard time trusting people. Considering all the man had been through, he couldn't exactly blame him. In the very least Severus showed him the important side of himself. "What am I gonna do with you?"
Severus shrugs, making it look more gracefully than Harry knew he himself could. "What indeed." Severus states. Harry's mouth dries and he swallows against the dryness, at the sudden dark look in Severus' eyes.
His eyes flutter close as Severus moves closer to him, head starting to lean down-
"Hey, what's the hold up? We're ready to eat!" Ron's voice suddenly exclaims out from somewhere outside of the tent.
His eyes open and Severus groans, forehead against Harry's.
"That bloody..." Severus mutters. "Never get time alone to..."
"I know," Harry says quietly. "We'll find some time. Promise."
Severus looks at him again and he holds back an audible gulp. With a look like that, he'd be sure that they'd get some time alone soon.
They head out of the tent and his stomach grumbles at the smell of cooking meat. He nods at Hermione who nods back, quickly getting absorbed into her book again. She had been pushing herself hard these past few weeks and Harry hoped she'd slow down a bit soon (telling her to do so only caused her to scold the person who did.) Ron grins at him and he smiles back in return. After a brief spell of anger (caused by a Horcrux, they later learned) Ron had gotten in much better spirits and helped them all when they felt down.
After they all take the time to get some of the meat and stew and drinks, they all find places to sit. He does his best to sit as close to Severus as he can without rousing suspicion. Thus far they had gone unnoticed and he was doing his best to keep it that way. He didn't want Ron and Hermione thinking that Severus had seduced him or had spelled or potioned him or something. He wanted to slowly get them used to the idea that Severus was a good person (because he was) and that he was someone whom Harry both wanted to be with and someone whom he loved. He wanted to show them that this was not a fling, or a decision made hastily or anything like that. He had had plenty of time to think about Severus and what he was doing and what he wanted.
He just hoped he could convince them, show them that.
He sighs a bit, settling a bit where he was. It may not have been exactly the situation he wanted to be, having to search for Horcruxes to kill an evil wizard, but at least he could do it besides people he loved, in varying ways. He picks up his spoon and sniffs the stew, enjoying the scent. He starts to take a bite when-
"So, you two shagged yet or what?" Ron asks, nonchalantly.
He spits out his stew.
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A/N: Like I said in the beginning, this is dedicated to a dear friend. We had a new years contest of who could read more in a year (2014) and would tell each other during New Years of 2015 how much we read. Whoever lost would have to write a fic for the other. Obviously I lost lol. But it's okay-I'll get you next time! :P But I enjoyed writing this, as I always do for you. You're one of my best friends and I cherish our friendship.
I hope you all enjoyed this!
Let me know what you thought!
-PhoenixJustice
