Chapter One
Pop Goes the Weasel
Summery: Always trust your nose, or you just might end up on the greatest adventure of your life! No pairings. Rated T for mild language and some suggestive themes coughLavicough.
Disclaimer: If I owned D.Gray-Man, I'd have more vampires and werewolves.
"Che, you suck as usual, beansprout."
"It's ALLEN, Ba-Kanda, or are you too dim to remember that?" Allen retorted, huffing and glaring.
"It's not worth remembering!" Kanda hissed.
They each stood a few feet apart, holding a sharp pointy sword towards the other, glaring angrily.
"Aw, Yuu-chan, that wasn't very nice!" Lavi cooed from the sidelines of the training area, sitting cross-legged.
Kanda's head whipped around, with lightning fast speed, towards the redhead, "Don't call me that, rabbit brat!" he yelled.
Taking Kanda's distraction to full advantage, Allen barreled forward. Spinning around at the last second, Yuu-chan managed to block the inexperienced charge, whilst disarming the beansprout in the same go.
Not willing to back down yet, Allen brought his knee upward, slamming it into Kanda's abdomen and knocked his weapon away with his hands. "Pay better attention, fringe-cut!" Allen yelled triumphantly.
Soon the 'chivalrous' sword fight turned into an all out brawl. Dust flying in every which direction.
Lavi sighed, "Ugh, not again…"
He watched for a few minutes, right hand propping up his chin, elbow resting on his knee. Kanda was obviously a better swordsman, but Allen passed him up on hand-to-hand combat.
Getting bored of actual thinking, Lavi switched to pain-in-the-butt mode.
"Come on, Allen, quit snuggling with Yuu-chan, your making me jealous!" Lavi called out, clapping both of his hands to his cheeks and shaking his head.
Allen immediately flew back about 10 feet from Kanda. "L-Lavi!" Allen stuttered.
Carrothead snickered, the boy sure could move fast.
Words failed Allen's alleged 'snuggler' as he glared at Lavi. Instead he resorted to actions, after all, they speak louder. Picking up one of the fallen swords, he marched menacingly toward the redhead.
"Eek! Save me!" Lavi squeaked, cowering in fear.
Lavi's knight in shining armor appeared right on que.
"Stop fighting you guys." Lenalee sighed as she approached.
"My savior!" Lavi cried, clinging to her leg.
"Che," Kanda turned away from them, toward Allen, "That's enough for the sword lesson, and I would like you to know you haven't improved at all."
Lavi booed softly.
Allen snorted, "Thanks, femmy-face," under his breath as he approached Lenalee and Lavi.
He smiled sweetly, turning to Lenalee, "Hello, Lenalee, did you come to train, too?"
Lenalee smiled back (but not looking as smexy ;P), "Ah, no, Allen-kun, you've been training for four hours and I wasn't sure if you knew that it was about lunchtime yet. Jerry's been missing you."
"Oh, thank you, Lenalee."
'The politeness is making my brain throb,' Lavi thought blandly. "Alright Allen, let's hurry to the cafeteria, I need my cookies really really badly." Lavi chirped, pulling on Allen's sleeve, marching towards the doorway.
"W-Wait a second, Lavi! I need to take a bath first! I'm all sweaty from training!" Allen said, trying in vain to tug his arm free.
The redhead stopped pulling and sniffed Allen's head. He wrinkled his nose, "Yeah, you're right. You do. Even more badly then I need my cookies I guess…" He sniffled melodramatically.
"I'll see you in the cafeteria in a bit, then." Lenalee said, ignoring Lavi and his weep fest, and started to walk off down the hallway.
As soon as Lenalee disappeared around the corner, Lave rounded on Allen and changed his theatrical role.
"Allen! How dare you flirt with Lenalee while you're going out with Yuu-chan! Two timing is a bad, bad thing! (worse than depriving me of my cookies)"
Allen stiffened like a stick, and Kanda reached for the nearest sword.
000
Meanwhile, in the deep, dark depths of the Science department, a certain curly-haired fool-of-a Head Chief sat at his desk, sluggishly doing paperwork. His head shot up from his messy desk.
"My brotherly senses are tingling, someone is flirting with my precious Lenalee!" He bolted up, hands slamming on his poor desk, which just might collapse from too much weight, jolting it and making the papers cascade off it in a mini avalanche.
"Get back to work," a tired Reever mumbled.
Lower lip protruding an inch, Komui settled back down into his chair.
000
"Aw, Yuu came too!" Lavi cooed. (Pun intended :P)
"Shut up or do you want to be cut up some more, rabbit brat?" Kanda snapped, and indeed, Lavi was already sporting a few good slashes.
"I don't see why you're coming either, Lavi, you weren't training so you're not all sweaty." Allen sighed, annoyed.
"Whaaat? And miss out on all the fun?!"
Allen shook his head, not wanting to know what 'fun' the redhead was referring to. It was probably something that makes little children cry… or worse. (Make's Lavi's cookies cry.) Either way, Allen knew the Lavi was kidding. (Probably.)
"Here we are," Allen said as he opened the door to the communal bath.
Putting his change of clothes on a bench, he undressed and headed toward the heated water.
"Hey, wait, Allen," Lavi said, standing over the water.
"What, Lavi?"
"Doesn't the water smell a little… weird… to you?"
"Kanda probably just farted in it," Allen said nonchalantly, climbing into the water without hesitation.
"I'm not even in the water yet, beansprout!"
"Ranged missile, then, Ba-Kanda?"
Lavi shrugged and climbed into the water anyway. Steaming, Kanda che'd and followed in, too.
"Hey, look, Allen, it's Yuu-chan's rubber ducky!" Lavi squeed with unadulterated delight, lifting the palm-sized bright yellow duck into the air and off the top of the water, grinning ear to ear.
"That's not my ducky, carrothead!"
"Oh, that's right, yours is the hot pink one. Sorry for the mistake, my beloved Yuu-chan."
"I don't have a rubber ducky! And quit calling me that!"
Lavi just giggled and squeezed the rubber ducky mercilessly, making it shoot a column of water out of it's orange beak and straight into Kanda's exasperated face.
"I'M GOING TO KILLYOU!" Kanda screamed, anger recharged, bolting through the water like an angry boar, towards Lavi.
"Nooo Yuu-chan, not while we're naked!"
"Stop it, guys, you're splashing me!"
"Take it like a man, beansprout."
"It's ALLEN, Ba-Kanda!" Allen yelled, trying to grab Lavi's shoulder to make him stop zooming around the bath with Kanda on his tail.
Giggling like a madman, Lavi continued to squeeze the abominable rubber ducky, but since there was a lack of water in it, instead it made a shrill, high-pitched, squeak.
"LAVI! Sto—Ugh…" Allen continued to try and catch the running redhead, but was overcome by a sudden wave of dizziness. He stumbled and grabbed the edge of the bath with one hand and placed the other on his forehead like he could steady it.
Lavi skidded to a halt. Kanda managed to stop too before he slammed into Lavi.
"You okay, beansprout?" Lavi asked, wadding over to Allen.
"Y-yeah, just a little—ugh—dizzy…" Allen stumbled, not seeming to notice that Lavi called him beansprout. (Something was definitely wrong D:)
"You'd better get out of the bath, the heat from the water might be causing this," Lavi said knowledgably, a little worried for the fifteen-year-old boy.
"O-okay…" Allen shakily climbed out of the bath and wrapped a towel around his waist. He headed towards the bench to sit down.
Lavi put the ducky back into the water and watched Allen worriedly. Kanda snatched the rubber toy up and ripped it into two with his bare hands. (What, you thought he was going to let that thing live?)
000
Allen faintly heard the pitiful dieing wail of the rubber duck, but he was more focused on his light-headed issues and getting over to the bench without falling over. Getting out of the water hadn't helped much, in fact, it was still getting worse.
Allen stumbled.
Even though he was sweating, he still felt like someone had filled his insides with gallons of snow.
He shivered.
Suddenly, instead of feeling light-headed, his whole body felt like lead. He collapsed in a heap. Black mist seemed to be covering his vision.
"Allen?!"
He felt colder and colder.
Pop!
000
As Allen collapsed, not even making it to the bench, Lavi hurried out of the bath, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist.
"Allen?!" he called.
Kanda came out too, just not as hurriedly. (He was probably going to go throw away the remains of the duck.)
Lavi reached Allen, and reached out to grab his shoulder and ask him if he was alright when a loud pop sounded.
Lavi stared at where Allen had been. He was gone. His wet towel lay crumpled on the floor.
"A-Allen?" Lavi stared. Behind him was another groan.
Pop!
Lavi whipped around. Kanda was gone too, and his towel was in a heap on the ground.
"Wha—," Lavi started to say, before he, too, was overcome by a sense of vertigo.
He fell flat on his face.
Pop!
A third ominous pop resounded off the walls of the Black Order.
000
Annnd… I'm done! First chapter of my first fanfic (that I know off) is up! I apologize for the crappiness of it, after all, I am an artist. Not a writer. The empty void of my 'Stories Written' box was staring me down. Any who, if it's short for you, keep in mind it was incredibly long for me (carpal tunnel, GYAH!). I'll write another chapter when I'm not to busy playing World of Warcraft. No soup for you!
