Sebastian Smythe had had a pretty shitty year. No, Sebastian Smythe had had the fucking shittiest year. After graduating top of his class at Dalton academy, he realized he had absolutely no idea where he wanted his life to go. He'd never even put much thought into it. It wasn't until his second semester of senior year that he realized he should probably start thinking about college. He figured he go to an Ivy somewhere far away, but what would he do once he got there? What would he major in? What was he going to do with his life? These questions swirled around in his head as he filled out applications, wrote bull-shit essays, and gave the world's most inappropriate valedictorian speech. (To his parent's dismay.)
So, Sebastian got accepted to Columbia University in New York. He joined their show choir and fucked a few randoms, but it just didn't feel right. Singing wasn't the same without The Warblers, and- dare he say it- Kurt Hummel. Yes, Sebastian found himself even missing the porcelain doll he loathed (or pretended to.) The fact was that bickering with Kurt was the closest he's ever been to connecting with someone. It sounded crazy, but things just weren't the same without him around. New York wasn't what he'd imagined at all. The streets smelled and the people were even more assholes than himself. He wasn't getting that exhilarating Freshman Year Away From Home feeling, but he wasn't homesick either. He was just… floating. He thought that when he actually got to the big city he'd be inspired, that some big epiphany would happen inside of him and he'd finally have that golden light to aspire to.
That didn't happen.
In fact, Sebastian's sex drive had even plummeted. Something about the ease he could get somebody in bed unnerved him. At least in Ohio he had to work to get good sex, here it's basically given away for free. Most nights, he could be found laying on his hard dorm mattress, dreaming of a day when he'd finally have a purpose. The only time he felt a little bit alive was behind a piano. Since graduation, Sebastian's performance energy had died out. He preferred to be seated behind a piano, singing softly and quietly about concepts he'd never even dreamed of before. Being in genuine love seemed impossible for him, yet he felt a yearning for it somewhere deep in his heart. He always knew that one day he'd want to settle down with someone serious… he just didn't know it would be this soon. Sebastian had changed so much from the boy he was just a few months ago, it genuinely scared him. How was he supposed to figure out what he wanted to do with his life if he didn't even recognize himself anymore? Growing up, he decided, was highly overrated.
After deciding to take a break and head home for a while, Sebastian found himself sitting at a table in the Lima Bean. He smiled at the memories it brought back, mostly of Kurt. Fighting, apologizing, and eventually having friendly conversations, this small coffee shop was where the two had most of their interaction. Sebastian was not proud of the way he'd treated Kurt in the past, and hoped that he genuinely accepted his apology. Sitting in these chairs again made Sebastian realize that he had feelings for Kurt, strong ones. Back then, that terrified him. He ran from them, burying them under hatred and mockery.
Sebastian knew there was no hope for them as a couple now. Last he heard, Kurt had gotten engaged to Blaine, and they were living their happily ever after together at NYADA. It was too late. Sipping at his coffee, Sebastian's head spinned. He wanted love, and a purpose, and neither of those things seemed to be happening. Just as he was about to get up, he heard the door bell ting. It was Kurt. He looked flawless as ever. He'd matured, a lot. His body was lean and muscular, but he still maintained a petite demeanor. His hair was coiffed perfectly in a style that rivaled Sebastian's own. Bottom line, Kurt got very attractive after high school. Sebastian watched as he walked up to the counter and ordered his coffee, smiling at the barista politely. He had a subtle sadness in his eye… possibly the wear of such rigorous studies. On his way out the door, Kurt caught Sebastian's stare.
"Well, if it isn't Kurt Hummel. Care to take a seat?" Sebastian smirked, gesturing to the empty seat in front of him. Kurt hesitated, unsure of the ground they stood on currently.
"I suppose I can catch up for a little bit. How have you been?" Kurt asked as he slid into the chair, looking Sebastian over.
"I'll be honest with you, Kurt, I've seen better times." Sebastian sighed. Kurt immediately noticed the change the formal Warbler had obviously been through. The Sebastian Smythe he knew never would have invited him to sit down, and especially wouldn't be putting himself out there like this.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Sebastian. You're obviously a lot different now than a few years ago."
"Yeah, yeah. Things are different now. I've grown up a lot… I'm looking for something better out of life, you know?" Sebastian felt a lot better talking about this with Kurt. The conversation just seemed so natural to them both.
"We've all grown up a lot." Kurt bit his lip, eyes on the table.
"I heard you got engaged, though. Congrats." Sebastian immediately saw this was a mistake, because he saw the way Kurt's face melted.
"I was engaged, but not anymore." Kurt said quietly, eyes still on the table.
"I'm so sorry to hear that." Sebastian reached out to touch Kurt's hand sympathetically, which jolted Kurt. This was the first time they'd really touched, and Sebastian could feel his face getting hot from the connection.
"I, no, it's fine. I- I was the one who broke it off. Just wasn't meant to be, I guess." Kurt stammered, still surprised from the skin-to-skin contact. Pulling away, Sebastian decided to change the subject. He also tried to ignore the way his heart was beating ten times faster.
"Well, what brought you to Ohio?" Sebastian asked, sipping some more on his coffee.
"I just needed to be with my friends for a while. I'm actually doing my third year work study at McKinley, co-coaching the glee club with Rachel."
"That's great," Sebastian said, "You two make an amazing team. I'm sure the kids love you." This comment took Kurt by surprise. What the hell happened to Sebastian Smythe?
"What about you?" Kurt asked curiously, leaning in just a bit.
"Like I said, things aren't going too well. I just needed to regroup… spend some time at home. I just feel so lost, like I have no purpose." Sebastian allowed, still surprised about how much he's sharing with his ex-enemy.
"I understand…" Kurt said quietly, an idea sprouting in his head. "How about you come to glee club at McKinley and spend some time with the kids? They could use some of your expert Warbler intel."
This suggestion surprised Sebastian. At the same time… it excited him. First, it meant more time with Kurt. Second, it might spark a bit of inspiration to see these kids with so much potential. God, he'd turned into such a fucking sap.
"That would be great, Kurt. I would really enjoy that." Sebastian grinned. Kurt grinned back, and for a moment, Sebastian felt like everything just might turn out alright.
"I should probably get going, but I'll text you?" Kurt bit his lip again, and God was he sexy when he did that, and stood up. Sebastian stood up too.
"Yeah, text me. That'd be great." Kurt began to leave, but Sebastian couldn't let him go just yet.
"Wait, Kurt?" Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hand to spin him around. Surprised, Kurt sucked in a quick breath, somewhat expecting to get kissed. That didn't happen, of course, and Sebastian dropped his hand awkwardly.
"I just wanted to say, uh, thanks. For talking, and everything. It really helped. You really helped." Sebastian stuttered. This made Kurt smile, to see him so genuine.
"You're welcome, Sebastian." And with that, Kurt left.
Sebastian's heart was soaring, and his head was spinning. A part of him he'd had buried for a long time had finally been uncovered by Kurt Hummel, of all people. He felt on top of the world, humming as he left the coffee shop. Maybe, he thought, the shittiest year had been the transition he needed to start the best year.
