Attachment
Author: Cigamina
Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin
Protagonists: Irvin Smith and Levi are the main focus
Part: 1/?
Warnings: violence , foul language
Rating: will be M
Disclaimer: Characters unfortunately aren't mine, therefore no money-making~ XDDD
Notes: Not too much yet, story starts 10 years before the plot in the anime/manga evolves, in year is going to be VERY long. XD
Also, I'm not quite sure about Irvin's and Levi's age so I picked ages that seemed appropriate to my. So much for writer's liberties! 8D
Please forgive me for making so many mistakes, English is not my native language and I'm sure you will find plenty of mistakes in there! _
Songs I heard while writing the chapter:
Music Instructor – Rock your body (Brainbug Remix)
Schiller – Schiller
„Would you like another cup of tea?"
He looked up and smiled at the young woman who had just asked him that question for the third time that evening. When he glanced over at the artfully crafted clock that was attached to the wall he learned that the evening had passed on quite a lot, it being past eleven already. He raised a hand to put the cup he had been using for the past few hours onto the plate he had eaten pastries from, making it easier for him to carry the used dishes to the kitchen in a few minutes.
"Thank you, Bethy, but I wouldn't want to draw upon your time too much. It's quite late already, you must be exhausted. I'm sorry to have kept you up for so long."
The blond woman laughed softly and returned his smile, shooing away his hands when he wanted to gather the plate to take them to the kitchen.
"Ahh no no, I'm wide awake, and don't bother, Irvin, I'll do that late! Don't worry, I love you being here and I enjoy every minute of your company. It's a much too rare occasion anyway…"
He looked at her affectionately and debated with himself for a few seconds but then decided that it might not hurt to stay a little longer. He enjoyed being here probably as much as she did, but he didn't want to exhaust her. But she was right, it wasn't that they got the chance to sit together and chat too often. Being a soldier came with some terms, and one was that they were to move about a lot, never staying in one place for long. If you were a part of the Scouting Legion, that is. Being part of the Stationary Guard or the Military Police even guaranteed a more stable lifestyle – the latter a rather secure one, on top. The Scouting Legion, however… they were on the move mostly, carrying out missions and planning them in advance, training. It was a rare occasion that they returned to anyone's home but it was his luck that they had business to attend here in Hermiha district, the part of the walled city Irvin had his origins in. Usually they were stationed around Karanese district, one of the outermost cities attached to wall Maria – because that's where they could head outside of the safety of the walls to meet their enemy.
Irvin smiled again when the young woman poured him another cup of her scented vanilla tea which was actually also one of his favourites. While he didn't get to have tea very often when he was at their headquarters or on the move even he enjoyed drinking it every time he could – and Elisabeth certainly knew about it. Although the latest events might have changed some things in his daily routine that he still had to get used to.
"Thank you, Bethy." He patted her hand after she had put a little bit of lemon into his tea, just the way he liked it, and took to holding her hand for a little while. The woman that was three years his younger beamed and squeezed his calloused hand, moved her head to the side a little.
"You're always welcome, Irvin." Also throwing a quick glance at the clock she looked at him curiously, her cerulean eyes shining ever so beautifully below her dark lashes. She really had inherited her mother's eyes – just as Irvin did.
"I'll hazard a guess that you don't have a precise hour to limit your returning anymore? I mean… as the corporal of the Scouting legion."
He smiled and nodded, using his free hand to put his spoon into his cup, mixing the lemon with the vanilla-tea.
"I daresay you're right. I have a few more liberties now – and tons of new obligations."
Not that he complained, not at all. It was an honor to have been chosen as the new corporal. Even though the occasion was not a happy one – their commander had died of a severe illness a few weeks ago, causing his former corporal to be made the new commander. And now-commander Dallis Zacklay had appointed Irvin his new corporal.
"I'm still a little astounded about it all."
He had genuinely been surprised even though he knew that Zacklay was quite fond of him. Irvin had been squad leader for a while now and he appeared to have done well so far, making him eligible for being made corporal.
Bethy made a lightly disapproving sound and then laughed, looking at him warmly.
"Don't be modest, Irvin. You've always been brilliant in the military… having been first in your trainee squad, squad leader shortly after that… they've certainly made the right choice."
He couldn't help but feel warmth spread in his chest upon hearing her words. Bethy had always been supportive to what he was doing, no matter what it was, as long as she knew that it was what Irvin wanted. And he could honestly say that yes, this was what he wanted. He did have the luxury of choosing whichever part of the military he wanted to join; and he hadn't hesitated. It had always been the Recon Corps – neither did he see any sense in hiding inside of wall Sina as part of the Military Police nor did he want to spend his life repairing the walls, patrolling them and upholding peace and quiet in the cities as a part of the Stationary Guard. No – he couldn't live a quiet life KNOWING what was outside of wall Maria. They ALL knew –the majority of the people just didn't WANT to think about it. Irvin did, had done so from the very first day he had learned that they were caged up in those cities, imprisoned by the gigantic walls protecting them. That there was a whole WORLD outside of the walls –they just couldn't access it. Because it was populated by monsters; gigantic monsters that had already driven mankind to the rim of extinction by devouring every one of them each time they came across human beings. The titans.
They were the reason why mankind had caged itself up by building huge walls that had protected them from the titans for the last century – and they were the reason why Irvin had chosen to be part of the Scouting Legion: because they fought the titans; they went outside wall Maria to learn about the titans, to find their weaknesses, to kill some of them. Irvin had decided long ago that being imprisoned forever wasn't an option for him. That his yearning for freedom and for the absolute safety of humanity was stronger than anything else; even if it was his own life that was at stake. He had joined the Recon Corps to give them whatever he had to offer for mankind's war against the titans; he had vowed to die for the cause of humanity.
Much to his father's chagrin he couldn't avoid thinking.
He shook off that last thought and bowed his head, smiling at his little sister.
"I certainly hope they won't be disentraled. I'll do the best I can."
She smiled back and then sighed, a shade of sadness coloured her expression.
"I know you will, Irvin. And you will do great… it's just… you'll be even more unavailable for me in the future, that saddens me a little. And…" She trailed off and bit her lip lightly, looking away for a moment. Irvin knew what was going on inside of her head and it upset him a little, too. When Bethy searched his gaze he felt a sting to his heart when he saw the sorrow and the worry in her delicate features. It was only there for a moment before she managed to cover the emotions a little by a smile, even though he thought that her eyes were shining even more than usually. She slid from her armchair and knelt by his feet, pressing her face into his chest and hugged him.
"Just… be careful, Irvin. I don't want to see your name next to mother's in the graveyard for the next 70 years, you hear me…? Please…"
He closed his eyes and hugged her back, resting his head on top of hers. It hurt him to see this… because he knew that she was feeling this way because of him and he was eternally sorry for the pain and sorrow he caused her… but he had to. It was his purpose to fight titans, and nothing would stop him until he defeated them – or died fighting them.
He placed a kiss on top of her head and patted it lightly.
"I promise to be as careful as I can be. And I'll always send you letters to let you know that I'm well fed and taken care of."
That got him a little snort from the younger woman and she looked up at him, her cheerful expression mostly restored. "You'll OF COURSE do that. It's an order, Corporal Smith.", she said, tugging on the green brooch that was attached to his chest. He smiled and clicked the heels of his leather boots together, using one hand to salute.
"Yes, Ma'am."
She laughed and raised a hand to stroke his cheek, wanting to give him a smart retort he was sure, when they both heard the front door open and close. The siblings looked at each other and Bethy's gaze became a little worried once again before she got up and straightened her robe. Irvin got up from his armchair as well, but stayed at the table while Bethy rushed to the door of the living room where the two siblings had been chatting for the last few hours. She smiled back at him and then disappeared in the entrance room, he assumed to help their old man out of his coat
"Oh, Bethy, thank you. Do we have a – oh."
Irvin looked at his father who had just appeared in the doorframe of the living room, bowed his head a little as a greeting.
"Hello, father."
The older man looked at him, the initial confusion soon replaced by the neutral expression he always wore when meeting his son. Irvin's face probably looked the same, impassive as ever when he met his father.
The older man whose once brown hair had turned grey by now looked at him and the cleared his throat.
"I had no idea you were in town."
Irvin smiled just the slightest bit and relaxed a little. He didn't sound as hostile as he had remembered him talk the last time he had been home.
"It was rather spontaneous, father. The Recon Corps has a few things to attend to here in Hermiha and I thought to stop by for a little while. I'm sorry that I seem to have picked the day where you were unavailable."
His father looked at him for a moment before he moved over to sit on the couch, shaking his head a little.
"The Recon Corps… what business do they have to attend here? I don't see any titans around."
It had never been like his father to be warm and welcoming, but a little sign of that he felt at least the slightest bit happy that he paid them a visit would have been nice. The smile that had crept onto his face disappeared upon hearing those words and he inclined his head a little.
"And I'm very happy that you don't, father. It's my purpose to make it stay that way."
The older man's eyes fixed on him for a minute but then shifted to Bethy who had just joined them in the living room, handing her father a glass of water. He thanked her and then snorted in Irvin's direction, looking at him exasperatedly.
"There are no titans inside of the walls, Irvin, and it will stay that way for the time being. They simply can't break through, we're safe in here. Where is the sense in fighting them, making them angry and goad them to attack us in the end? Where is the sense in sacrificing lives, making people die for nothing? We're fine in here, we have everything we need. Son, it's time you quit playing soldier and come home as long as you still CAN."
Irvin looked at the other man, feeling the already so well-known fury tear through him, but none of that reflected on his features. His self-control was always tested when he met his father, but he had learned suppressing his emotions quite well. He had had leading positions in the military for quite some time now, soldiers looked up to him and respected every single one of his decisions, there was no room for exploding emotions. Whatever was going on in his head or his heart, people would only see what they needed to see; nothing more and nothing less.
He stood straight and put a hand onto his heart, the other behind his back, taking in the position that always reminded him of the day when he vowed to serve the cause of humanity until his death. He felt proud, he felt right, and there was no way his old man could say anything to change that.
"It's not a game, father. I'm glad the titans stay outside of the walls, but they're THERE. They're trying to climb up the walls as we speak, they're trying to break through it with all the force they have. They're a threat to mankind – and they keep us caged in here, keep us from going wherever we want to go. That can't be tolerated – I can't tolerate it. I see a sense in fighting them – in exploring them, learning about their weaknesses and habits and finally triumphing over them. I'll do everything I can to get nearer to that goal, and nothing will stop me."
His father looked at him, then snorting again and taking a sip of his water. Bethy looked at Irvin apologetically and moved over to put a hand on his arm.
"Pff. Quite the idealist… it won't get you anywhere – except into a titans slobbering mouth." His voice quivered a little when mouthing his words. "Come home, son. Nothing is waiting for you outside wall Maria, only…" He didn't finish his sentence and looked away, appearing 10 years older for the fracture of a moment before he straightened up. "Find yourself a pretty girl, marry and have kids."
His temper really was tested today, but he managed to suppress his anger. He was well aware of the fact that his father was suppressing so many emotions himself, but he wasn't about to let himself or the Recon Corps be insulted.
"No, father. My fate lies with the military. If I can serve mankind freeing itself then I'll gladly do it, even if it costs me my life." He heard his little sisters gasp and felt her hand clutch his arm, but he continued nonetheless. "At least I know what I'll die for and nobody can take that away from me. Maybe you'll never understand me but I'm a soldier and I'm proud of it." He took a deep breath and then lowered his hands, nodding at the door. "I'll be on my way, it's late and this is leading nowhere. Thanks for the tea and pastries, Bethy, it was really nice seeing you." He looked at his sister and gave her a peck on the cheek, before he moved to leave the room, nodding in the direction of the older man. "Father."
When he passed the doorframe he heard his father's voice again and it made him pause for a moment.
"You're no soldier to me, Irvin. You're my son… retire and don't cause an old man even more grief."
He closed his eyes for a moment, heard his sister say: "Father, don't…". He shook his head and took another deep breath, exited the room.
"I can't."
He took his cloak from the coatrack and left the house, taking a deep breath once he was outside. The cold air of late autumn felt good in his lungs and calmed him a little, he still felt his blood boil in his veins. It was always the same when he met his father. He just didn't understand why he couldn't leave him alone. Irvin understood that he wasn't exactly doing what his father had imagined for him. His father was a merchant and an honest man, he had worked hard for what he had and he was living a good life. He had done everything for his children having a promising future, he had paid a private teacher to give them as much education as he could – and had been livid when Irvin had decided to sign up for the military. 6 years had passed since then and still his father was angry with him for his choice of profession. Irvin was thankful for everything his father had done for him – but he was living his life the way he wanted to. And he only wished for his father to accept and respect that. He didn't need to feel happy about it, Irvin just wanted… him to be proud.
He fastened his warm black cloak that he had laid his green cape off for and started walking when he heard his sister's voice behind him.
"Irvin! Irvin, please wait…!"
He turned around to see Bethy rushing over to him and he stopped, taking her by her shoulders when she came to a hold in front of him, catching her breath.
"Bethy, it's cold and you have no jacket…!"
He moved to take off his cloak to put it onto her shoulders but she grabbed his hand and shook her head.
"It's fine, I'll go back in a minute." She took another deep breath and looked up at Erwin who was at least 6 inches taller than her. Her cerulean eyes looked sad and she held his hand, squeezing it lightly.
"Don't think bad of him, Irvin… he's afraid of losing you. He loves you, he's just too stubborn to show it…"
He smiled a little and returned the squeeze then moved forward to hug his sister with his free arm.
"I know. It's him I've got my stubbornness from after all… but I won't be insulted, not by my own father."
He heard her sigh when she pulled back, looking up at him again. She pushed a bag into his hands that she had brought along and stood on her toe tips to kiss him on the cheek.
"Take this, Irvin. It's your favourites and I still don't trust your military's food…" He couldn't help but smile when he accepted the food, smelling the freshly baked meat pies through the paper. He hugged his sister again and raised his free hand to stroke her cheek.
"Thank you, Bethy. I'm sure I'll enjoy them. And now rush back inside or you'll catch a cold. I'll try to come by again the day after tomorrow, is that convenient for you?"
She beamed at him and nodded, visibly happy at the perspective of seeing him again so soon.
"Of course, anytime it's convenient for you. Take care, Irvin!"
"You too, little sister."
She smiled and then ran back towards the house, waving at him before she entered. Irvin watched her all the way and just turned around when he knew that she was safely inside. She was a little angel and he was just so fond of her. When having met her he always realized how much he missed her when he wasn't home.
A little smile still tugging at his lips he started his way back to the place they were staying. It was one of the Military Police's emergency quarters that they were using for a few days, at the other side of the town. It was quite a distance to go there by foot but he had wanted to do so. He had spend the last few days on his horse's back when they came all the way here from Shinganshima, it felt good to walk around a little. And he had wanted his poor horse to rest a little as they were going to head back in a few days. The white stallion was young and full of strength but even he had showed signs of fatigue yesterday when he had brought him into its stable. So he had thought that he might enjoy a little peace and quiet just as Irvin enjoyed walking through the empty streets.
He still had to get used to the idea that he would have quite some time to himself from now on. As a squad leader he hadn't slept in the same room as all the other recruits but he had shared a room with another squad leader, had used the common shower rooms and had eaten with everybody else in the dining room. As a corporal… he did have an office where he could do his paperwork (and there was a LOT of that), he had his own bedroom and a bathroom attached. He could retreat into his own quarters in the evening, could even eat there alone if he wanted to. It all was a luxury that he had to get used to first; and yet he was already looking forward to it. It imposed a new challenge, a completely different kind of work, much more responsibility that was put onto his shoulders and he hadn't lied to his sister, he was really hoping that his superiors had made the right move with choosing him - but he was up to proving himself, he would do his best.
He had been walking for quite a while when he noticed that he was about to cross one of the most questionable parts of the town. Due to the fact that there lived a lot of people in the walled cities it was unavoidable that there were rich and poor people. There were not enough jobs for everybody and foot shortage had always been an issue ever since mankind had pulled back inside the walls… the Stationary Guard and the Military Police were supposed to do their best in keeping the whole population fed and healthy but such systems never worked out 100%. Not all people got their daily share of food, not all people were regularly checked up upon by a doctor – and that's how poverty and hunger developed into a problem. When food became the target of stealing something went very wrong – and many things went wrong these days. Irvin's head would start aching once he thought about all the things that should be changed – but he knew that not much could be done as long as they lived inside these walls. Once they were free new structures would be needed and that was when things could be thoroughly changed. As long as nothing drastic happened the rich would stay rich and poor people died of hunger. Their system was so full of corruption and injustice that it made his blood boil that his hands were bound in most of those matters. The only thing he could do was fight the titans – and believe in the vision he had about their world becoming much better once they were free.
He dove into the shadows of the narrow streets that would lead him through the worst part of the town. It was the shortest way to their garrison and Irvin didn't see the necessity to walk around it. He wasn't afraid of titans, why would he be afraid of human beings? He was on guard, yes, but he felt safe with the short blade he was carrying at his belt instead of the whole 3D-maneuver-gear. That would have been… a little much. And he needed an authorization when carrying it around in the town, so he had just left it at the garrison. It felt a little strange not to have it with him; he always had to remind himself that he was far away from titan infiltrated territory.
He had no idea where they came from all of a sudden, he hadn't heard a single sound before but when he rounded the next corner he walked right into the display of a fight. It was dark as the only light that was provided were the pale rays of the new moon that was mostly covered by clouds and Irvin couldn't make out much, but there were about five of them, completely coiled into each other. He heard several voices, angry hissing, hushed screaming, a senseless tumble of words. Irvin blinked and put aside the paperback he was carrying, feeling the need to do something but as long as he didn't know who was fighting whom here he couldn't interfere. He took another few seconds to watch, trying to make out what kinds of weapons they used and how many they were – when one of the fighters flew from the ball of people, with as much force as if he had been pushed very hard. It made him lie in the pale moonlight for the split of a second, enough for Irvin to catch a glimpse of him before he jumped back to his feet. It was a boy, barely tall enough to reach Irvin's shoulders and not even half of his own width. He had unkempt black hair and wore nothing but a few rags slung around his haggard body despite the cold, he didn't even have shoes on his feet. His body was all pent-up, tense up to the degree he could snap any second and he had a knife in his right hand, blood already shining of its blade. Irvin blinked when an enraged scream emerged from the boy's mouth and he plunged back at the other fighters, making it quite clear who was fighting whom.
"Give it back you BASTARDS!"
Agonized screams and a cascade of curses was the next Irvin heard and in an instant he went for his sword, pulling it out of its sheath. He had seen enough, he couldn't leave the boy in a 4 against 1 fight – even though the boy had been stupid enough to get back into the fight instead of running.
Irvin dove into the shadows of the narrow road the fight had moved to and tried to make out the small boy, already working out a plan to get him out of this safely – when he stopped right in his tracks. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw two of the other fighters lifeless on the ground, their blood darkening the stones they awkwardly lay on. The remaining three were fighting, the little boy in the middle, lashing out with his knife. He was screaming like a hurt animal when he went for one of the man's throat while he kicked the other in the shins, making the other cry out. He dodged the arms swung at him and kicked the knife out of one of the man's hands, tackled the now unarmed man that had completely lost his balance to the ground. He smashed his elbows onto his head and throat and turned just in time to slash the other man's stomach, making him topple to the ground. He jumped to his feet and kicked the slashed man's head before drilling his knife into the throat of the other man, making him gurgle – and then fall silent. Everything was silent except for a little moan that escaped one of the men before he died and the heavy panting of the boy who knelt on the ground. Irvin, still standing rooted to the spot, stared at the lean boy who hadn't taken notice of him at all. He was standing halfway hidden behind a huge stack of trash so he wasn't too visible for the boy.
The boy got to his feet and the moving clouds chose this moment to release the moon, making a few pale rays enlighten the narrow street. The black-haired boy stared at the men on the ground, his eyes glowering seethingly. There was so much fury in his gaze, so much panic and so much hate in them, making his eyes burn in the cold night. And right into Irvin's mind. He inhaled through his nose, he had never, never once seen someone fight like this. So intent on staying alive, on killing the men threatening him. On getting back what was his, Irvin assumed that the cause of the whole fight was a small package the was lying on the ground, having fallen into a puddle of water. The boy moved to pick it up and cursed, realizing that the bread the package contained was sponged with water. He growled furiously, kicked one of the dead men and cursed again, pressing one of his palms against his thigh. Irvin frowned and concluded that he might have been injured during the heated fight, just realizing it now that the adrenaline was slowly ceding to flood his body and making him feel the pain. The boy groaned and took a couple of steps before he collapsed against the wall, his legs refusing to carry him any longer. He cursed weakly but soon the cursing turned into soft gasps when he hunched, pressing his hands onto his wound.
Irvin was thinking for a few seconds what he should do. He had just witnessed… a boy killing four people. When they had arrived at Hermiha district a couple of days ago the men of the Military Police that had showed them their quarters had been talking about a thug that was scaring Hermiha's underworld to no ends and that they were in the complete dark about who that person was. Nobody had really seen him, the people meeting him mostly turned up very dead or were unable to describe him. It was known that he went for food, he didn't steal money or jewelry. Irvin didn't want to draw his conclusion too hastily but he thought it was possible that this boy, as crazy as it sounded, was the person they were searching for. He hadn't killed for the first time, Irvin could tell, there hadn't been any remorse or doubt in his eyes. He knew what he was capable of and he was dangerous – but he was only a boy. A boy that was hungry, a victim of the corrupt system Irvin so dearly despised. A boy that had stolen and had his prey stolen from him again, as it seemed. He killed for survival – and that was exactly what Irvin was doing, too. The only difference, and that was what made the boy a criminal and Irvin a soldier, he was killing titans in the name of the government and of course he was aware that killing people for food wasn't right. But essentially… the boy yearned for exactly want what Irvin wanted, too: staying alive. And that was maybe one of the reasons why he didn't just walk over, put the boy into custody and presented him to the Military Police.
He took a deep breath, put his blade back into its sheath and started moving towards the boy, not even trying to be silent. The boy would notice him within seconds anyway, his senses had to be good if he had survived on the streets for so long.
Irvin was right, he had barely taken a couple of steps when the boy's head shot up and his whole body tensed, the knife appeared in his hand in a fracture of a second. He struggled to get up, trying to get to his feet as quickly as he could, but his legs just wouldn't carry him and he fell to the ground once more, gasping as he did so. His jaw was clenched and he stared at Irvin loathingly, the knife raised to lash out at him the moment he got within his range.
Irvin looked at him and raised his hands, showing the boy that he didn't have anything in his hands that he could harm him with.
"Relax, I mean you no harm. You look like you need a little help?"
Okay guys~ on to the next? 8DDDDD
Hope you enjoyed reading this!
