The Divination classroom was stifling in the early summer heatwave. James Potter and Sirius Black were sitting on their table, with a teapot and cups laid out in front of them.
'Well that's clearly Mercury and that's a Dragon, so that's two fire things. Odds are you're going to get burnt. To death. By a dragon. On Mercury.' said Sirius in a stage whisper.
A few students laughed and smiled, including Lily Evans a couple of tables away despite her best intentions.
'Well at least it will be quick. And, you know, won't happen.'
'Sorry Prongs, but I think it's pretty set in stone' said Sirius. 'Mercury and a Dragon. You're done in for. You're only saving grace would be in the unlikely event that Divination is just a load of made up nonsense, but what are the chances of that eh?'
Even Remus laughed at this one.
'Well then, tell my parents that I love them. And tell my wife….'
'That she's imaginary and you're a gobshite. Yep got it' quipped Sirius.
This brought even more chuckles from the class and Professor Picking peered from behind her spectacles to try and find the source of the disturbance. She narrowed on James and Sirius but they remained quiet and downward facing.
'Right, do me' said Sirius.
'I thought you'd never ask.'
A few giggles echoed through their classmates. Remus at the next table along rolled his eyes. James stirred up the tea leaves and let them settle.
'Right, well' said James unsure. 'There's a sort of weird tree thing and what I think is a strawberry.'
'A strawberry?' asked Sirius.
'Yeah, I think so. Or it could be like a peach or something.'
'A peach or something!' exclaimed Sirius too loudly. 'It was a strawberry a minute ago! What kind of weird fruit do you have at home?'
'Well, you know the answer to that, since you eat most of it. Besides it keeps changing.'
'It keeps changing? Let me have a look' shouted Sirius, grabbing at the cup.
'No you'll spoil it' spat James, snatching it away from him.
'Spoil what?'
James looked around devilishly, like a small child with a secret.
'The magic!'
Sirius erupted with laughter along with most of the class. Professor Picking, enraged, marched over.
'What's going on?'
Sirius, struggling for breath could barely muster a response and instead pointed at James, who adopted a feigned look of innocence.
'I was trying to convince Sirius that he shouldn't look at his own leaves, lest he spoil the magic within.'
'Well, that's a nice sentiment but once the leaves are set there can only be one interpretation of them regardless of the reader' said Picking with an air of supposed authority.
'Professor, can someone else please read mine,' pleaded Sirius. 'He doesn't even know the difference between a peach and a strawberry.'
'I do' exclaimed James.
'No you don't.'
'Yes I do, it just changed that's all'.
'Cos you moved them.'
'No I didn't.'
'Boys, quiet,' interjected the Professor leaning over them to grab the cup. 'Let me see.'
Professor Picking peered into the cup in her hands for a few seconds, before a grimace appeared on her face.
'My dear,' she said ghoulishly. 'The omens are not in your favour.'
The rest of the class perked up, listening intently. Sirius and James rolled their eyes at each other.
'The grim resides in your future' she continued.
'Oh joy. I die. Yet again,' sighed Sirius. 'Can we at least leave it until tomorrow though? I hear they're serving Shepherd's Pie at dinner.'
'Really?' interjected Peter, over-excitedly.
Sirius turned in his stool, much to the annoyance of the Professor.
'Oh yeah, with peas and extra gravy.'
Peter smiled, looking like he was off in his own dream world full of Shepherd's Pie. Sirius turned back.
'Sorry Professor' said Sirius earnestly. 'Now where were we? Something about me dying again?'
The class laughed once more. Professor Picking pursed her lips and turned away, briskly walking back to her desk.
'Detention, I think, Mr. Black' said Picking.
'For what?!' shouted Sirius.
'For disrupting the class'
'Oh great. Just great. You tell me I'm going to die, and I get a detention for not taking it politely?'
'I'll leave the time and date for Professor McGonagall.'
'You know what?' spat Sirius, picking up his school bag. 'If I have to sit through anymore of this drivel, I think I'll save the Grim a trip and just off myself'.
Sirius stormed to the trapdoor and wrenched it open before turning back one last time.
'And for the record' said Sirius, pointing towards the nearest table. 'That tea tastes shit!'
