Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural or any of its characters

A/N- This was just a little something I wrote when I was bored. I enjoyed writing and it turned out good I think. I hope you like it

The last thing I saw in this small unforgiving world I've come to know, was my brother. His face was beaten brutally by the hand I couldn't control. I hope that he could understand and forgive me. As I fell I saw the grieve and sorrow etched in his face. I wanted to jump back to him but I couldn't. There was no going back.

It was strange to watch the dirt cover me but I could not fell its weight. The ground swallowed me whole as the darkness edged around until there was no light left.

I felt Lucifer rip from my mind. The siring pain. I wondered if this was what it felt to be exorcised. To have something ripped from your body. When Meg possessed me, it was different. She left willingly. A spell broken. Fast and easy. Not like this. Some evil cruel being finding anything to hold on to. To stay in your body. In your mind. And Lucifer had a tight grip. I wonder if he was holding on just because he knew the pain it caused me. Was this the start of the torture I knew that was coming? Not yet in hell and my torturer had already begun his work.

I heard my little brother screaming next to me. As I watched him wither and squirm, desperately trying to get away from the pain in his own mind. I wished that I were alone. This was my choice. My fight. My fate. Not his. He had chosen to accept the path lay before him. I am the one who chose to defy mine. I was the one to disobey Gods plan and order. I'm the one who chose to rebel. Not him. Never him. He did not deserve this. Why had I done this to him?

Even though I had known him for a short time I felt a wave of protectiveness wash over me. I had done this to him. It was my job to lessen to pain. To help him. To be the big brother I should be. The big brother I will be.

It felt like we were falling for days, maybe we were. Time was strange in hell. It felt like time dragged by painfully slow. Mocking me and choice I made. Taunting me till I would go crazy.

I saw a small light below me as I fell. It glow strange colors of purple and black. It looked endless. I thought for a second it might be a way out. That it was freedom.

I closed my eyes and gave a small smile until I heard a faint scream. It was a scream of pain. Unlike any I had ever heard. And I knew what a painful scream sounded like. I felt a small wave of heat getting warmer and warmer as I got closer. I heard a howl I had not heard since that day. That horrible horrible day Jo and Ellen left to find their husband and father somewhere beyond that the living could see. A deep growl. A horrid scream. A sense of doom washed over me. It was hell.

For the first time since the hell hounds ripped Dean apart, I prayed. I prayed for heaven to show me mercy. I had done what they wanted. Lucifer was back in hell. The world was saved. I saved it. I did my job! Why do I deserve this? Was his punishment for setting him free? Being his vessel in the first place could have been enough punishment. I had already lost so many I loved. Everyone. I had to feel myself snap Bobby's neck by just the wave of my hand. A man I knew like a father. A man who was a father to my when my own wasn't there. I had to feel myself rip Cas apart by just the snap of my fingers. The man that saved my brother. The one that brought him back to me. A guardian. A protector. A friend I had come to know as family. Hadn't I paid enough?

I prayed for Adam. To take him away from this. He didn't deserve this. Let me go through my punishment alone. Let me pay for my mistakes. Let me pay for the crime I committed. Don't let him. Take him away.

Suddenly the new light consumed me. It was hot. Burning hot. Like fire. Boiling my flesh. The scream and cries of people slowing turning into the evil things that tortured them pierced my ears. I can't have the same fate as them. I refuse to. I refuse to turn into something that I once hunted. I would not turn into something that killed innocent people for fun. I won't. I won't!

All I wanted when I was younger was to be normal. What would my younger self say to this? Would he just end it all? Knowing there was no escape from hunting, a life he so desperately wanted away from. Knowing this is the place he'd go. What would he do?

Finally after what felt like weeks Adam and my body slammed on to the hard unforgiving floor below. I felt someone standing over me. I looked up to see a pair of fiery angry eyes staring down at me. Lucifer in all his glory. A wicked smile fell upon his lips and from that spot there my torture began.

Months, maybe years, I couldn't tell anymore, past by before someone came for me. A figure with huge black wings fought through demons, making his way to me.

Cas.

He had heard my prayer. He had come for me as he came for Dean. I cried tears of joy. I reached my arm as far I could out of the cage. He gently touched my scared, bloody, abused hand. He whispered words of comfort. I smiled gratefully at him.

I felt him pull me up but I sat in the same place. I looked up to see Cas pulling body out of hell. I screamed for him. I scream desperately. I was still here. He just took my body. But he could not hear me. I thrashed wildly around across the cage. I desperately tried to break down the cage walls but they did not budge.

I called for Adam. I heard him call from above me. He was being carried by other angels. I cried for him to help. He desperately tried to break free of the angel's tight grip, screamed that they had forgotten me. But they did not stop. They could hear neither of us. He screamed my name as I screamed his until I could no longer hear or see him. I cried once more.

I was alone. Alone with an angry frustrated Lucifer and Michael.

Why had they forgotten me? Why did they only take me body? Did they not know that they had forgotten me? Lucifer laughed at my pain and sorrow. Why me? WHY ME?

Why not me. I guess I always was and will always be the cursed child.