Dedicated to: -An Unhealthy Zemyx Obsession-
This is a very sad fanfiction... I don't know why I wrote it. But just be warned, Demyx is dying. I love him, and like I said I don't know why I wrote this. I was in the angsty fic mood. So read at your will, but please don't review or message me saying it made you cry... it made me cry too and I don't want anyone else to hurt. This has a deeper meaning than you think. Enjoy!
-Suku17
"Hey oh, here I am,
And here we go, life's waiting to begin,
Tonight
Hey oh, here I am
And Here we go, life's waiting to begin
Tonight..."
I'm lying here tonight in this hospital bed and I don't know what I'm going to do. The doctor's say I only have a few more months to live... why me? I didn't do anything to deserve this, did I? If I did... please tell me how I can fix it. I don't wanna die... please... whatever god there may be... help me live. All I wanted to do was live... and I got this. I don't want to die... and I'm scared. I took too many days for granted and now my time is running out.
I'm feeling sick from the chemo and doctors still wonder why my hair hasn't fallen out. I guess I'm going to die with SOME dignity. But I don't want to die. My friends come in and visit me, but it doesn't feel right. Axel always sneaks in his CD player with one of my favorite CDs, and Roxas's smile always helps brighten the room, but Zexion... he's so sad nowadays. He tells me, "Demyx, you're going to make it. I'm praying for you... I love you." Zexy is afraid for me and I'm afraid for me, too. I'm afraid to sleep at night because I think I might not wake up tomorrow... I don't want to die.
Today, Axel brought my Angels and Airwaves CD. I started crying during "The Adventure." Axel hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay. Or else he'd light all of the doctors on fire and give me a new body. That made me laugh. I hadn't really laughed in a long time, so that felt good. Vexen came in a little later with some tea and a book. The book was called, "Music: A Life Of Passion" The tea was good, and I'm still reading the book. I really like it. I'll tell Vexen that when he comes tomorrow. He always smiles when people like his books. I was in a pretty good mood. Zexion came and for the first time in a long time he had a smile on his face. He walked in whistling "Mr. Brightside" at least. We talked for awhile. After about half an hour, the blonde-haired nurse told him visiting hours were up. It was sad he had to leave, but the nurse promised she would start my hours early tomorrow and run them late just for Zexion. I like her. She's pretty, and nice.
Zexion said goodbye and kissed me on the forehead. Larxene slipped in at the last second and slid one of her kunai under the mattress of my bed. She said it was good luck. I believe her. I feel better than ever.
Outside my room, I can see a doctor talking to Zexion. He must be saying something about me because Zexion gets that look on his face. I can read his lips. "He's not going to die, " is what he said. He leans really close to the doctor and says something that must've been a threat becuase the doctor flinches and steps back. Zexion tapped the window and flashed me a smile. I smiled back.
I don't know why I'm writing this... it feels like I'm writing my own will. If I was, it would look like this...:
My Will
I Demyx, being of sound mind and body, hereby leave everything I own to the Organization XIII. Munny, clothing, obscure possesions...
And I leave to the world my last words...
You are only truly dying when you can't hear the music anymore and the lights in your friend's and lover's eyes begins to fade.
Yeah. That would be my will. The Pretty nurse is coming into the room. She has a pillow and two cups of cocoa with her. She's smiling at me. She likes to come in and hear my stories at night. I like telling her about all the things I've done. It feels good to be able to talk to someone. She brings cocoa with her all the time. She says chocolate is the only real medicine, besides love. I think she's right. If.. not if, WHEN I get out of here, I'm going to send her a million boxes of chocolates and a billion roses. And a mix CD. Just because.
I told her the story about the time Xigbar, Xaldin, Zexion, Axel, Vexen, me, and Luxord gave Xemnas that huge surprise on his birthday...
"Xigbar left a note that said, "Look up" and there were arrows on the ceiling. Xigbar can walk on ceilings, remember? So Xemnas followed them to a trail of little paper hearts that led him to the meeting room. From there, he followed Zexion's rope to a box. Inside was a scent. Zexion can do that. Just because that's how he rolls. Anyway, Xemnas followed the scent to the lab where Vexen left two bottles of chemicals. Xemnas mixed them and they made this gas that made a bunch of arrows light up on the wall. Xemnas followed THOSE arrows to Axel's room. There was a chunk of charred wood against the wall pointing to the library. He walked there and Luxord had a bunch of cards laying on the table so they made a big arrow. He followed THAT arrow to my room where my sitar was lying on the ground pointing outside. Xemnas went outside and we had a giant heart-shaped cake and presents and everything." Demyx was out of breath by now.
"Wow. That seems like a lot to go through for just one person, don't you think?" The Pretty nurse smiled and raised her eyebrow.
""No." Demyx smiled and took a drink of his cocoa. "That's when Xemnas started smiling more. It was worth it." Demyx laughed and smiled wider. " I like it when people smile. It makes me feel like I make a difference." Demyx sipped his cocoa again. I wish Zexion could smile... but smiling is pretty hard nowadays...
The nurse smiled at Demyx. "You do make a difference. Even to me!"
Demyx looked at her, his expression surprised. "How?"
The nurse laughed. "You should know! I haven't smiled this much for a long time!" She took a drink of her cocoa, still smiling.
"Why not?" Demyx was confused. How could someone as light-hearted at this nurse NOT always be smiling? "You smile so much when you're here, why not out there?" Demyx tilted his head to the side. Wow... maybe she's like Zexy. I still don't understand how someone as pretty as this nurse and Zexion could hurt on the inside.
"My boyfriend died in a car accident a few months ago..." The nurse's smile faded a little bit.
Demyx looked at her, wide-eyed. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if Zexion died... I'd probably kill myself!!! "Oh no... that's terrible. I'm sorry..." Demyx didn't know what to say. "My friend Larxene had a boyfriend, once. She talks about him sometimes. She says she really loved him." Demyx turned to the nurse. "Why do things like that always happen to nice people?"
The nurse looked at him, surprised by his question. "I... I don't know. I don't understand it, either." she set down her cup. " I don't understand why someone as nice, and loving as you could end up here." She looked at Demyx with her emerald green eyes. "I know you'll make it. You have to."
Now it was Demyx's turn to look surprised. "How do you know?"
The nurse smiled at him. "God has a way with rewarding people like you." She smiled and kissed his forehead gently. "You'll make it. For your silver-haired friend. I know you will." She picked up the empty cups and smiled at Demyx again. "I'll leave your lamp on for awhile. Good night, Demyx."
Demyx watched her leave. "Good night." I'm going to make it. That's what she said. For Zexion... I'll fight forever.
To be continued... in chapter 2!
